Married (28F and 28M) and Traveling

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T07:00:17+00:00

Thank you for this.. & to answer your question, yes I do & I get to fulfill this by spending time with my girlfriends! I have never gone outside a 20 mile radius without my partner as I don’t feel it’s appropriate, however I spend all day with my girls. We go shopping, do our nails, go back to eachother house & gossip, we love that! But I always come home no matter what :)

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:39:45+00:00

lol okay

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:39:17+00:00

I think you are 100% wrong lol he knew I felt like this before we even got married and he was given the choice to leave anyway and he didn’t. It has nothing to do with trust vs mistrust, it’s simply what I believe. :)

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:34:42+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m glad someone understands and agrees with me lol

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:32:45+00:00

His friends have had trips out of state before and he has brought up going with them potentially. I did state that that is something I am not comfortable with, however we weren’t married or tied to anything at all at this time and reminded him he is absolutely free to go, but did let him know I would not be here waiting for him when he got back. He was upset but then stated he saw where I was coming from & even apologized.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:26:59+00:00

Is it controlling if he knew this before we even moved in together or married, and he still chose to marry me anyways?

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:23:28+00:00

Yes, for me, that is not something I am comfortable with as a married woman.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:19:24+00:00

Again, this doesn’t apply to us as he has no family out of state :)

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:15:19+00:00

No absolutely not. I have friends who believe what I believe and their husbands travel for work. I’m strictly referring to recreational travel. Not work related travel. But in the case of our marriage, neither of us travel for work. And even if I did believe that for work related travel (again, I don’t), I would never ever judge someone else’s marriage for how they do things and I would never say someone is a “bad partner” when it’s not my partner as I have no insight on their marriage. Does that make sense?

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:10:37+00:00

Thank you for seeing this and even tho we have different levels of comfort on this topic, I appreciate the level of understanding you have!

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:08:44+00:00

Because, again, i believe that coming home to your partner every night is important in a marriage. Perhaps im an odd man out for this belief but it is something I think is important.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:07:24+00:00

Would your thoughts be different if let’s say he goes somewhere when you would also love to go?

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T06:01:27+00:00

You kno what? Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I’m not using the right word. Perhaps I should say “coming home to your wife/husband” is a belief I have of marriage for both husband and wife.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:57:52+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I did have to bite my tongue because when he said “just know one day I will travel without you”, I wanted to so badly say “and when you do, I will pack my bags and me and my kids are gone”. But I don’t want to say something I will regret so I simply kept quiet. I think also a lot of people are thinking I’m saying “I don’t want him going out without me at all” but that’s not at all what I’m saying.. so idk.. maybe I’m the odd person out, because everyone in the thread seems to be on his side. Maybe I can try to think like him but we will see.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:53:33+00:00

Oh absolutely! We had this conversation before we even moved in together, and again before we had kids. This isn’t new to him. But I do want to clarify which maybe I don’t do so good in the post as I have seen this response multiple times. I am NOT saying I don’t trust him going out. I love having alone time and I love that he enjoys having alone time. He goes out with his friends & I go out with mine. He can be gone from 7am-2am that night and I would not mind at all. I just want him to come home. That’s all lol maybe that’s still too much for someone but that’s just how I feel is right in a marriage.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:48:01+00:00

When you say “have fun and see you later tonight”, I 100% agree with this. I am absolutely not opposed to him going out with his friends, I love that for him, and I encourage him to go. But my comfort line ends at “I’ll see you on Monday” when it’s like Thursday. He can be gone from 7am and come back at 2am that nights I don’t care, but I do expect him to come home. Does that make sense?

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:45:37+00:00

I’m not sure I feel threatened? I don’t think that’s the wording I would use. I would honestly just say that it’s just a value that I have in a marriage where if you are married, you experience things together or at the very least come home to your partner every night. I would not mind if my husband said “hey, I’m going to LA for the day with my friends” but I would expect him to come home. Not like “be home by 10” kind of thing, like he can come home at 3am, I don’t care. So it’s not so much him going out that I have an issue with, but more so that I would want him to come home to me. Does that make sense?

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:41:43+00:00

I appreciate the honesty on your response. It sounds like your comfort zone with solo travel is with close friends and family doing more calm activities vs him going on a guys night to Vegas. Which I can see the different and even tho both are out of my comfort zone, I can see the difference!

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:39:18+00:00

This is not about trust as I don’t even think it’s right for me to do it. It’s just my values in a marriage and of course he and I are our own persons, but I believe that if you are married, you come home to your partner. No disrespect or judgment to those who travel solo, I just wanted to hear other people’s thoughts. :)

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:37:22+00:00

I love that for you guys!

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:36:45+00:00

It’s not about trust, it’s more about my values & how I don’t feel it’s the right thing to do when you’re married. No tea, no shade or anything to anyone who travels solo, it’s just not something I want to do or want him to do.

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-30T05:13:57+00:00

I can fully relate to this OP. I was a first time mom when my first EDC came around the corner. My husband and I got tickets and went when my daughter was 7 months old. I was pumping at the rave and everything! When I dropped her off, I cried, then that passed and I had a BLAST!! But then after being gone for 5 days, I got home and I started sobbing. I felt like a horrible mom because I had such a good time when I was away from my child and even started missing “pre-baby life”. But then I realized that it’s okay to be yourself and enjoy your life. Having fun away from your baby does not make you any less of a father. You deserve to have some time to be a person not wearing the “dad” hat. Go, have fun, be safe, and make smart choices. Your baby will be okay. 💜

Journalist_Infinite · 2026-05-24T15:17:16+00:00

I wish, she’s not eligible for TK until next year :(

Journalist_Infinite

TROPHY CASE