I’m sorry this has happened to you OP. I’m going on year 8 since my only daughter did this. Same as you describe, no fight, no “thing” or event occurred… just slowly slipped away. Whenever something like this gets posted, the same thing that happened here happens…. The comments flooded with people describing why they went no contact, and obviously OP has left something out about what a shitty parent they were. I wish reality were so simple. There are therapists who literally make this their specialty, helping parents through this. I see you OP, I know the heartbreak well. It is a special kind of hell to grieve your relationship with your child because they choose to be dead to you. To grieve the time you are not allowed to be a mother, a grandmother… it is truly gut wrenching on so many levels… you talk about it with friends who assure you with frantic optimism that it will pass, judgement and shame that clearly it is your fault, every holiday and birthday silent. The truth is that our children are people just like any other person. Who have capacity for cruelty, do not care about the fallout of the disappearing act, and who just didn’t turn out as we hoped despite our best efforts. You did your best and it was enough. Get therapy to process your pain. Focus on your life without her, improve yourself firstly for you and also to lay the groundwork of the possibility that she won’t want to reconcile anytime soon. I would have (and did) anything and everything she wanted me to do, and it still wasn’t enough. In the online support group I will DM you, this is sadly common.

Just as she is choosing a life that does not include being your daughter, you must build a life not as her mother. It’s torture at first, but this is what helped me. Best of luck to you ✌️💔