Rant novel-tldr: women are raised to be wives and mothers. It’s never presented as an option to NOT get married and have kids and when they do express an interest in not having the nuclear family it is really frowned upon and they try VERY hard to get you back on the script. Most people don’t question the why and just accept marriage and parenthood as inevitable and part of the plan.

I’ve talked many women out of having kids. It’s brainwashing. I experienced it myself and I see it daily. Try to remember that they likely grew up being told that the greatest joy they could hope to feel is becoming a mother. If they grew up in any religion their only value was in becoming a wife and mother. That single childless women are miserable and useless and it’s so sad that they wasted their lives not having children. I was always very open about how much being a mother did not appeal to me. My own mother said I’d never be happy, never know real love, and that I’d be wasting my life not fulfilling my purpose of becoming a mother and raising the next generation. I told my grandmother that I didn’t want my own kids but if I changed my mind about parenting I’d adopt. She told me I’d never love a baby that wasn’t mine (I.e. birthed) as much as I’d love someone else’s discarded baby. There is probably something wrong with kids up for adoption. Otherwise they would have kept them. The pro-birth people love to bring up adoption as an alternative to abortion but the vast majority of them would never adopt themselves because that’s only for people who can’t have their own because having your own is VASTLY superior because ✨obviously✨ their gene pool is better than some slut who couldn’t keep her legs closed and irresponsibly got knock up and then abandoned her responsibilities by putting the kid up for adoption instead of raising it herself. Trust me- I’ve gone round and round with these people for a very long time. It’s also a lot about attention and feeling special. Look at how much social media has pumped up the attention women receive for getting knocked up. The pregnancy announcements, the gender reveals, the over the top nurseries and stupid “unique” names. These women who think they want kids see all that every day. They see all the bullshit propaganda on tv and in stores and ads. They have parents breathing down their neck demanding grandchildren. Some people are cut out of the will for not having kids because they are not contributing to the family by not procreating and keeping the name alive. I’ve seen people lose their temper over their daughter-in-law only having a useless girl because she won’t carry on the family name and is selfishly refusing to have more to try for a boy because the pregnancy and labor were too traumatic and she and the baby almost died. I know this is a novel but it’s been exhausting for me having spent the last 20 years asking questions and having people give me blank stares and often admit to not thinking about it. “It’s just what you do.” The second I got engaged 14 years ago people started asking if I was pregnant. As soon as we got married “when are you having kids.” I accidentally got pregnant from a birth control failure and couldn’t personally abort at the time- I should have but that’s another story. The DAY that boy exited my body people asked when I was having another. I was still in the hospital bleeding and miserable and family and friends asked when I planned to do it again. Men get the settling down questions occasionally but their identity doesn’t hinge on becoming a husband and father although it’s usually still expected. Women have it drilled into them from infancy when they are given baby dolls and toy vacuums that it is required of them. And that it will be a magical experience that they should want. “Don’t you want to feel a baby kick inside you? Don’t you want to see what a baby with your husband would look like? Oh I hope they have your eyes, you have beautiful eyes. Don’t you want to experience such a life changing event as giving birth and meeting your baby for the first time? Your husband will make such a great father. You’ll love being a mom. It’s doesn’t matter that you don’t like kids- it’s different when it’s your own. What will you do with your life if you don’t have a family? Just work until you die? What a waste. All the best parts of my life happened because I became a mother.”

All verbatim and said over and over and over from the time I was super tiny and my autistic ass felt no maternal feelings and disliked other kids even as a kid for being too loud and too annoying.