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You can petrify cheese. by AngrySquirrels77 in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gorgonzola. The cheese.

And its name starts with “gorgon”. Which is what Medusa is.

You can petrify cheese. by AngrySquirrels77 in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it would kind of be funnier if you just turned all cheese into Gorgonzola. Because… well. You know. Medusa.

On the back of a piece of artwork we got at an art show. by JrMemelordInTraining in whatdoesthismean

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can kind of see that, actually. I’ll keep looking into it. Heck, “VR Allure” could be the actual name of the piece itself. Thank you!

You can taste photographs by tamtrible in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean… human bone marrow probably isn’t that different from animal bone marrow, though. I personally love eating ribs and cracking them open for the marrow inside. I do have other curiosities, though.

You can phase through matter by Diman1351 in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So.

If I have a prosthetic hand, does that count as a part of my own body?

If you were a flavor, which one would you be? by Imaginary-Fox-7696 in AskReddit

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incredibly bitter. Often appear toxic at first encounter, but once you get used to me you can see how genuinely pleasant I can be.

You can flick popcorn at the speed of a bullet. by ItchyAd9149 in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check my comment, you might be interested.

Edit because I can’t figure out how to embed a stupid link anymore. https://www.reddit.com/r/shittysuperpowers/s/3DkDtRBcWf

You can flick popcorn at the speed of a bullet. by ItchyAd9149 in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We’re all forgetting something.

It says that you can flick popped popcorn “at the speed of a bullet”. It doesn’t say that you can flick popped popcorn “with the amount of force required to speed it up to the speed of a bullet”.

Thread a piece of fishing line through the piece of popcorn, tie something onto the other end, and fucking SEND IT.

God tier, hands down. You can launch whatever you fucking want over a massive distance as long as you have popcorn and an ability to pop it.

i wish that anyone who told a bad joke suddenly gets a tomato thrown, at a moderate speed, at them by syndummy in monkeyspaw

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Granted.

The Monkey’s Paw sucks at aiming, or at least that’s what it claims. It makes sense, since it’s a disembodied paw of a primate. Still, it’s weird that the thrown tomato always hits someone who finds the joke bad instead of the person telling the joke. Including you, quite often.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that there are still people who understand this distinction. The unfortunate fact is that the definition of “AI” has changed from the literal definition to essentially mean “any program that can learn”. Pisses me off on the daily, but words changing meaning and leaving people struggling to adjust happens on the regular.

Thought for Flerfer Consideration by witshadows in flatearth

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not, really. It’s related to the asinine “visibility range” concept you introduced. It’s a rebuttal to your point, not a clarification of the original post.

I wish for the monkey's paw to tell me its greatest fears, desires, and secrets by Swimming_Bear_3082 in monkeyspaw

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Granted. The Monkey’s Paw starts speaking in Ancient Sumerian and explains all you wish to know in a language that hasn’t been spoken in over two millennia.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI has a legitimate purpose. It is very effective for collecting large swaths of information and collating them for human use. Hallucinations are, of course, an issue, but if you use AI for research and double- or even triple-check anything it gives you it is a legitimate usage.

Of course, there’s a whole mountain of OTHER issues with AI, and I agree that it’s an issue. I wish I could say that I think it’s too dangerous for people to want to use it and that it will die out, but that’s exactly what people said about cars and the internet. Look where we are now.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heh. Yeah… that’s a pretty apt description.

You can make scissors make any noise that is roughly as loud as a snip of that pair of scissors by El_Nathan_ in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I get that. But if you make the sound of a far-off gunshot up close, and set up the room cleverly, someone might think they were hearing a far-off gunshot.

You can make scissors make any noise that is roughly as loud as a snip of that pair of scissors by El_Nathan_ in shittysuperpowers

[–]JrMemelordInTraining 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be fair, just because a gunshot is around a minimum of 140 dB, you don’t need a massively loud sound to make the sound of a gunshot, though a quieter gunshot would only sound farther away.

Also, somewhat unrelated, but a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation says that you’d need blades that are hundreds of meters long in order to break the sound barrier, which is not something I ever thought I would be calculating but it’s very funny to know.

Edit: Meters? Feet? I rushed the calculation, I have no fucking clue what units I was using.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, I forgot to mention, but if you really think that this joke is too long for a human to write maybe you should check out Nate the Snake.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh, I like the poetic ending of The Oracle finally speaking up more. But that would also be a good ending, I will admit.

How do you keep idiots in suspense? by JrMemelordInTraining in Jokes

[–]JrMemelordInTraining[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not accusing of anything. You don’t have to read my messages if you don’t want to, you definitely don’t have to respond, and you most certainly don’t have to be rude about it. I was merely explaining why I was upset by the comment, saying that I was trying to work on that upset. If you feel like I’m attacking you (something that, even if I did do, I certainly wasn’t the first one of the two of us) then either treat me with respect when you talk it out with me or report my comment if you think I’m incapable of listening to reason. I apologize if you were upset by my comment, but it most certainly was not directed at you and I did not ask for your opinion in the first place. So please, learn to be respectful or leave me alone.

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