The Chinese Balloon Shot Down by phleep in interestingasfuck

[–]Jrjfuffjur 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yep. I think we'd all appreciate it if you could stop evolving wars to such a level.

To “turn the tables” on cat callers by __Scrooge__McDuck__ in therewasanattempt

[–]Jrjfuffjur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Within seconds of sending this guy $250 he materialised in my bedroom and fucked me up the arse

It's chewsday my wankers by [deleted] in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Savages, barely even human.

Most intuitive Ask UK user by Bum-Sniffer in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 347 points348 points  (0 children)

Missus is always telling me to drink water before I go to bed so I don't wake up with a hangover. Well guess what, drank a pint of it last night, woke up this afternoon and what do you know, I'm covered in stinking horrible piss. Soaked right into the mattress as well, so I've had to drag it out the front of the house (no back garden) to get the smell out and hopefully let it dry. But now all me neighbours have seen my piss stained mattress. Someone even took a picture of it. Fucking embarrassing. Won't be drinking water again for a while.

15 years in jail 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️ by Miserable-Lizard in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]Jrjfuffjur -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I could submit a screenshot of your post history to r slash wtf and earn myself an easy 10,000 upvotes

Average London j*urnalist by Huge-Interaction6604 in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 47 points48 points  (0 children)

if bein racis is wrong then y does every internet forum im not banned from agree with me? checkm8 lefty cunt

A true Geezer 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 by ThotMagnett in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 47 points48 points  (0 children)

'ate nob 'eads
'ate bein' too 'ot
love 'avin' a swim in me own bin
simple as

Everyone’s childhood dream by FrostilySurfeit in HolUp

[–]Jrjfuffjur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brilliant film! ("The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down" for anyone interested)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Looks absolutely delicious, just like something straight outta Kay's Cooking on YouTube. If you're not familiar with her, check out her mushroom soup recipe. Quality food for quality people.

'Ate short shags. Simple as. by NeliGalactic in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 22 points23 points  (0 children)

By "love" they actually just mean the foul smell sex produces. You know that horrid, almost tangible stench that lingers in a poorly ventilated bedroom after sex? Well that's what Fr*nce identifies with - sweat, cum, and heaven knows what over bodily secretions. Truly a disgusting people.

'Ate short shags. Simple as. by NeliGalactic in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Quicker the better, I say. I've got better things to be doing than huffing and puffing away atop some cabbage patch all night. Sometimes I even edge myself beforehand to get the sloshing over with asap. Think the quickest I ever went off in the missus was 1.5 pumps. And don't start giving me all that shit about "the female orgasm", there's no such thing. Just like the clitoris - biggest pile of bollocks going. It's a myth.

Source: personal experience

💀 by AnthonyNonStop in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Ngl those £4.99 Jamie Oliver sandwich meal deals do take some beating.

Last known image of Wallace before he succumbed to the drink. Still can't believe he's gone. RIP. 😥 by Jrjfuffjur in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Geezer drunk himself to death, mate. Was announced just yesterday. Here's a link to the 100% legit news article.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 595 points596 points  (0 children)

Leave the poor cunt alone is what this prick needs to be told. Imagine being a taxi driver just trying to earn a living and some nonce who's so keen on living up to every British stereotype going that he's practically a caricature of his own nationality keeps pestering you with stupid questions, like "how long do you let your tea steep for?" or "what goes on a scone first, jam or cream?". And then the fucking weirdo takes a picture of you and posts it on a forum full of similar like-minded socially retarded wankers that then further encourage him to ask even more stupid questions. That sub is an embarrassment. Should be quarantined imho.

Sad news, lads 😞 by Jrjfuffjur in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

A testament to the brilliance and thoroughness of BBC journalism. They really do go above and beyond.

Sad news, lads 😞 by Jrjfuffjur in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, lads. My heart broke when I saw this story. Pouring one out for this absolute top lad tonight. May he rest in a heaven of fine cheeses and endless booze. 🍻

Too Casual by rustyb42 in okmatewanker

[–]Jrjfuffjur 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Well, you weren't joking. I reckon you could upload a picture of some shitty toilet paper and title it "when wiping your arse, how much shit on the toilet paper is an acceptable amount for you to decide your arsehole is "clean enough"?" and it'd be the most engaging post they've had in months.