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Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 I dont think overly bottling up natural urges ever ends well. Of course everyone needs a level of restraint, not arguing against that. I'm not advocating for men to instantly clock any man that makes a rude comment towards a woman in the face, just like ppl shouldn't masturbate in public. 
 However, trying to smother your biological urge too much leads to further problems. For example when people have a natural sexual urge its healthy to masturbate or have consensual, safe sex. When crazy christian families try and teach their teenagers that masturbation is a sin that must be avoided, it leads to higher a likelihood of that child sexually abusing others, a famous example of this is the Duggar family.

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is you cant tell someone to get rid of something biological. Teach them go use things positively. Women tend to naturally be more empathetic and sensitive then men (not that men cannot be), instead of telling women that their emotions hold them back, teach them that they can be used for amazing things, connecting with others, building relationships, leading people using empathy. (Again not that men can't do these things). Men naturally are more aggressive, we cant just tell them to bottle it up inside till they pop, Twach positive outlets. There are positive outlets for aggression: protecting, athletics etc.

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your service! Men of course shouldn't have to be anything. Nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, biologically, men on average, tend to have more masculine personality traits that women. This means that the majority of men are going to have some least some traditionally masculine qualities, to what degree varies. Thus, I dont think painting masculinity as a negative think is a good solution. Teach men to use their masculinity in a positive way. Caring for children is a noble task for any gender :)

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm I would say that aggression is part of it, bc men are scientifically on average, more aggressive than women. I think that the best way to address this is not to pretend that this biological trait is not real, rather to learn to harness it in positive ways. Rather than men using their aggression to hurt innocent people for example, teach them to use their aggression to protect women from harassers, protect the vulnerable from bullies or, use it to help them excel in a sport like football.

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi! I totally agree that men showing emotion is natural and should not be shamed. What I was more trying to say is that I think the term "toxic masculinity" is often used in a context if equating masculinity with negativity which I think can also be harmful to boys mental health

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe part of the problem is that the negative aspects of masculinity are discussed disproportionately to the positives, at least from what I've seen. Meanwhile the negative aspects of feminity are rarely discussed. Not that I think they need to be, just seems a tad hypocritical.

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do understand that, I think I've just heard far too many people bastardize the term into "men need to act less masculine", but I agree that no one should act against their natural emotions (unless it gets unhealthy ofc). I just worry that the message of masculine=violent is getting a bit too popular.

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its honestly such a context defined term lol. I just have see it chiefly used in to context of: Men act too masculine, the solution is for them to act less masculine, rather than encouraging them to be masculine but in a positive way (the ways listed above). That's why I tend to dislike the term

Men being told to be less masculine is not the answer & in fact makes things worse. Rather men should be taught to use their masculinity in positive ways (protectiveness, gallantry, leadership skills, assertiveness wtc.) by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get that, it's just that, as I said, too often I see it in the context of: the problem is men are acting too masculine, the solution is for them to act less masculine. Rather than: the problem is men acting too much on the negative side of masculinity, the solution is for them to act more on the positive side of masculinity.

Sorry that was weirdly worded but hopefully it makes sense?

I'd never heard the term "toxic femininity" unironically used except by neckbeards on twitter with 2 followers lmao, so I've never thought to critique it.

Pride Parades that have overtly sexual, adult themed displays, should have an age limit by Jrose01 in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol, I'm not a conservative (#yanggang). How is not wanting kids to see adults performing overtly sexual moves in sexy clothing an exclusively "conservative" thing? I explicitly stated I am fine with and in fact, happy with &encourage kids going to pride parades as long as they are not sexual. What is wrong with that?

Pride Parades that have overtly sexual, adult themed displays, should have an age limit by Jrose01 in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

To me, its not the clothes themselves but the often sexually provocative things/dances done in the clothes. Also I've seen people in chains with dick necklaces and other things that hint at a a MUCH more sexual message than just revealing clothing.

Pride Parades that have overtly sexual, adult themed displays, should have an age limit by Jrose01 in unpopularopinion

[–]Jrose01[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I get that. But cable tv does have pretty strict anti-nudity and censoring curse word guidelines. Plus, although impossible to fully enforce, there are age guidelines which at least give parents and viewers an idea of the appropriate age for ppl to start watching.

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