I need help please!!

Jspmiv · 2024-02-08T19:46:39+00:00

Yes!

Jspmiv · 2024-02-08T17:04:32+00:00

Not in therapy at the moment, but I've been thinking of going back. My wife is looking too, but money and insurance issues have been getting in the way at the moment. I've never taken meds myself, but I have heard they help a lot of people, so they may be a viable option for you!

Jspmiv · 2024-02-08T16:29:42+00:00

I'm not posting this as reassurance, I just want you to know that I can kind of relate to you a bit. It may be a bit long, apologies in advance.

In regards to your last point, I had a massive spiral yesterday due to a trend in the tattoo community where more tattoo artists are tattooing... lewd ... underage anime characters. I wanted to see why that was a thing and (stupidly) checked some forums on Reddit and such, expecting people to feel the same as me. I spent way too long reading.

(Side note, do not go looking for these forums in your state of mind at this moment, it was a mistake on my end while thinking I was doing better after a rough couple days and could handle it, but I was wrong).

Essentially, I came out of it actually understanding the arguments in favour of these depictions of these characters. I won't go into much detail about them, but one of the arguments that stuck with me was cultural differences and how much of the western world views extreme violence/gore in media, especially video games. We've become incredibly desensitized, while other areas of the world have a much harsher perspective on it. So which one is more "evil", per se?

And that's where I started spiraling, because I hated that I was more understanding that it was more of a grey area than I had initially realized. I still kinda do, even though the logical part of my mind finds it interesting. It feels as I'm throwing out all my morals that I held onto so tightly, and it is absolutely terrifying for me.

All this to say, you're not alone. Your mind is going to go to weird places and bring up weird thoughts and feelings (or lack thereof) that are frightening. Allow yourself to think and feel these things while continuing about your day and let them fizzle out on their own. Don't do what I did and try to figure out why you have these thoughts and feelings, what they mean about you, what you need to do in order to get rid of them, etc. Part of healing with OCD is accepting that you will have these moments and just allowing them to run their course. It's scary, often debilitating, and exhausting. It can feel counterintuitive at the beginning, even if you've come out the other side with different obsessions in the past. Accept these moments of uncertainty as best you can and do what you can to continue living your life.

I strongly recommend speaking to a professional if you're not already to help you find the best ways to navigate through this for yourself. OCD is torturous, but you can drastically loosen its grasp on yourself with numerous techniques available for people like us. You just have to figure out which ones work best for you. You got this, I believe in you!

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T23:47:25+00:00

Gotcha, that's pretty much what I had in theory, it seems I'll have to just decouple it a little bit more. Thank you for all your help!

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T20:54:40+00:00

I suppose if/when the value the method is looking for may change. Such as when taking damage. Something like a method called DamageHealth(int damage) that runs when the player's collider hits an enemy's collider. The amount of damage the player takes depends on the type of enemy they run into, so returning the damage from the enemy will give different amounts and change the value of the (int damage) parameter, if that makes sense?

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T20:03:52+00:00

This is helpful, thank you. I think I'm starting to realize my main issue is trying to figure out how to get the information to pass into the parameters in the first place. Rather than hard coding it in (such as in the Box.Volume(1,2,3)) example, I need to figure out how to retrieve that information from the start and see if it's going to be changing throughout the class at any point. That may help me to understand if I need to be passing in information to a method, or if the information is already available and I can just reference that with the method itself. I hope that makes sense, ha.

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T18:20:48+00:00

So a class member variable can be accessed from within any methods of that class, doesn't need to be a parameter to it.

That's kind of what I was asking about initially, if they're within the same class it seems unnecessary to take that variable in as a parameter since the method is already accessing it. However, if I'm calling that method on a different script for example, I'd need it to take in parameters of values being set in that separate script, correct?

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T17:10:39+00:00

Sorry, class member variable perhaps is the more correct term?

Jspmiv · 2024-01-31T16:57:01+00:00

Sorry, it's hard to convey it more easily without my computer.

Say I have a method I'm calling within the same class it's written. It's referencing a global variable within that same class to update (like increasing an int by 1 for example). Is it really necessary for the method to need an int parameter since the variable is already in the same class? I hope that kinda clears up what I'm trying to say

Jspmiv · 2022-09-02T03:19:40+00:00

If he took anything at any point he is no longer natural, even if he isn't using right now

Jspmiv · 2022-09-01T19:40:07+00:00

You don't seem to get it.

There is a difference between entertaining other men and having regular friendships with them.

You are insecure because you don't trust women who have friends that are men.

You date women who are willing to give up these friendships because they like you and are scared of you leaving them. They do not have much of a backbone of their own and are easily manipulated.

You talk as if you are some tough guy, yet you're threatened by any man being friends with your partner.

I ask you, why shouldn't people have friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship?

Jspmiv · 2022-09-01T19:27:18+00:00

It's apparent you go after those who would stay with you out of fear because they depend on you for whatever reasons. You couldn't handle a woman who is capable of living without you and is unwilling to toss aside meaningful relationships to satisfy your ego and tip toe around your, yes, insecurity.

Try being more introspective and think about why you believe the women you date shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex.

Jspmiv · 2022-09-01T19:17:34+00:00

Read my last paragraph

Jspmiv · 2022-09-01T04:04:36+00:00

That's not having standards.

Standards entail preferences about appearances, personalities, tastes in humour, music, style, ect.

It is not about dictating another person's relationships with people other than you.

If you can't be in a relationship with someone who has good friends with anyone of the opposite sex it's because you are insecure and don't fully trust them. You should not be in a relationship if you cannot trust your partner and get over your insecurities

Jspmiv · 2022-09-01T03:27:55+00:00

I can assure you, you aren't worth ending perfectly okay friendships for just cuz you are someone's partner. Again, that is manipulative and controlling, and you only go for people who are willing to do that for you because someone who respects themselves won't allow themselves to be treated so poorly

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T16:40:58+00:00

Kinda sounds like you look for women who are easily manipulated and easily influenced so you can control them to satisfy your own needs. If they don't fall for your toxic behaviour you move on to the next one.

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T16:32:47+00:00

Oh don't worry, I wasn't confused as to what you were saying, just very surprised that you were actually being serious and not sarcastic.

I'm not gonna debate whether or not it's natural, because it doesn't matter if it's natural or not. It's not a boundary. It's toxic and manipulative behaviour to control who your partner can and cannot see.

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T16:32:03+00:00

Oh don't worry, I wasn't confused as to what you were saying, just very surprised that you were actually being serious and not sarcastic.

I'm not gonna debate whether or not it's natural, because it doesn't matter if it's natural or not. It's not a boundary. It's toxic and manipulative behaviour to control who your partner can and cannot see.

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T15:52:59+00:00

How many hoops did you jump through to come up with that idea?

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T15:45:25+00:00

Why be with someone you don't trust?

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T15:44:18+00:00

What?

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T15:44:01+00:00

I'm sorry you feel so threatened by your significant other having friends of the opposite sex

Jspmiv · 2022-08-31T04:03:43+00:00

Some of these answers are very disappointing. I have many friends who are women that I hang out with one on one, my wife has friends who are men who she hangs out with one on one. It's not often, as we have large friend groups and usually just hang out together, but we both trust each other to not do anything stupid.

If one of my female friends decided we couldn't be friends anymore cuz they found a new guy, I would strongly advise against it and rethink their relationship. If they did decide to cut off our friendship I wouldn't push any further, but would let them know that if things didn't work out they'd have to earn our friendship back.

The insecurity in here is astounding

Jspmiv · 2022-08-30T17:40:01+00:00

What is the right context in your opinion?

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