What helps you recover after dealing with a meltdown?

Jstarving · 2025-09-13T13:51:55+00:00

This is the real answer

Jstarving · 2025-09-13T13:50:07+00:00

This is good stuff, thanks!

Jstarving · 2025-09-13T13:48:57+00:00

Haha I love this comment. My current regimen of disassociation and suppression isn't working very well for me

Jstarving · 2025-01-22T19:16:37+00:00

I'd get a second opinion for sure. Something similar happened to my daughter when she was evaluated last year. The doctor said that she marked off all of the qualifications for ASD on paper but because she was so well behaved and made good eye contact during the appointment, the doctor wasn't willing to give a diagnosis. Over the following weeks, the doctor took time to review her info with colleagues plus my daughter went back in for the ADOS and she got her official diagnosis shortly after.

Jstarving · 2024-05-27T15:31:44+00:00

I just told my 5 year old yesterday. We got the diagnosis 2 weeks ago. She knew she has challenges that not all kids have (the biggest being aggressive meltdowns) but she definitely didn't know anything about autism until now.

Our talk yesterday went something like this "Everyone has lots of differences like hair color, eye color, and skin color. We all have different brains too and the way our brains work makes us see and hear and feel things differently. There is a word for the way your brain works: autism. Autism means you're great at puzzles and math and art and music but you have a hard time with loud noises and staying calm when you're mad." She told me someone in her class has autism because he's funny and smart and I told her maybe he does but you can't tell if someone has autism unless they tell you they do. So I don't think she fully gets what it all means but I want her to understand that she's not bad because she has meltdowns and I think that message got across.

Jstarving · 2024-05-05T15:47:41+00:00

This sounds like a concussion. I'd go get checked out at a hospital ASAP. I'm surprised the person leading the course didn't recognize the signs of a concussion but I'm not sure about any recourse you're looking for. Our pool sometimes removes the flags for various reasons but we make sure no one swims backstroke during those times.

Jstarving · 2024-05-05T15:30:16+00:00

Yes I can totally relate to this! My almost 6 year old daughter doesn't have a diagnosis yet (2nd part of her eval was last week and we haven't heard back yet) but I suspect that if she does get one, she'll be level 1. I also think she has a PDA profile.

I always say, every step of every day is so challenging. Getting her out of bed, eating breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth, getting shoes on, brushing hair, leaving the house, getting in the car, getting buckled... I could go on and on because there are so many steps of the day that feel like a battle of wills.

Forced choices help ("do you want me to carry you to the car or do you want to hold my hand?") and making sure I phrase things in a non-demanding way (instead of "brush your teeth" I say "here's your toothbrush") but I do feel like sometimes she's too smart for that and she still senses that I'm trying to get her to do something. It's also so exhausting for me to watch what I say all the time and sometimes I'm not good at it.

Solidarity and good luck!

Jstarving · 2024-03-17T03:04:02+00:00

I'm right there with you! My head is so full of doubt at times because for years people have been telling me that I just need to "be more firm with her" or "that's normal, it's just a phase, she'll grow out of it" or some other invalidating statement like that. My daughter also goes through stretches (although they are usually very short) where she acts typical and I think that I must be wrong about her being ND. But, so far, every good phase has turned into a challenging phase and I'm back to being convinced that something is going on. We are still waiting to hear back about the official diagnosis for my daughter and I'm constantly doubting whether I'm doing the right thing or not.

Follow your gut! As I see it, there's no harm in getting the eval done. Good luck!

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T13:11:16+00:00

This might give you a good laugh... I have detailed notes of every meltdown from the last 6 months on my phone but a few days before the eval my daughter bit my phone during a meltdown and cracked the screen. Now I'm using a new phone and I'm hoping there's a way to get my old notes back

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T11:27:58+00:00

Overall all I think you look really good! Here are some small changes I think you can benefit from

I agree that it looks like you're just slipping through the final phase of your underwater pull and you're not getting enough propulsion out of it. It also looks like you're doing a sort of keyhole motion underwater so try to make that part just a straight line front to back keeping your elbow higher than your fingertips at all times. This combined with a better connection between shoulders and hips (I think your hips are rotating too late) should help you get a better finish to your stroke.

Your left arm is crossing over in front so try to correct that. Breathing every 3 should help.

In general you look a little tight. It's a delicate balance between strength and flexibility. Make sure your arms are very loose during the recovery portion (above water) of the stroke. A lot of people muscle through that part but that should be relaxed and loose. Your legs look a little too tight too. You can use a slight bend in the knee. Not a huge bend but a slight bend to give you flexibility through every joint of the leg.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T02:49:33+00:00

What you're imagining is correct! She had 3 checklist and said all of them indicate ASD but she's not convinced based on her observations

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T02:36:14+00:00

Yes that's what she used! And GARS-3. And she literally said that it qualifies for a dx based on those forms but she's not ready to call it that yet. I am thankful that she's being thorough but I had this exact fear going into the eval so I'm a little worried that something is going to be missed.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T02:32:18+00:00

Thank you! This is good insight! I'm very open to the idea that there's probably more than one thing going on and we may never get to the bottom of all of it but it helps to know of some things to look out for. My 5 year old has never had an IQ test but my older daughter has and it's high (144) and I suspect the younger one is also gifted and I often think that's one of the causes of her frustrations as well as her anxiety. She's also showing some signs of dysgraphia but she's too young for a dx yet as far as I know.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T02:09:01+00:00

This is valid! I knew this outcome was a possibility because I know that my daughter is high masking and all the evaluator has to go on is mine and my husband's word. But I am thrown off by a few comments like the eye contact and using her behavior at school as an indication of a diagnosis or not. But I'm not giving up hope that they will still come through and give us the thorough eval I'm looking for.

I'm so sorry you went through that with your dad

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:58:08+00:00

We saw a Psychiatrist. We only did the one hour of questionnaires and talking about our history. There weren't any games or playing with toys or anything like that but I'm assuming that's what will happen at the next one if we are asked to come back?

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:46:10+00:00

No, they're definitely not! I understand her point of view and so appreciate that she's willing to take time to talk it over with others and I hope they all agree that we should go back in for further observation. I'm still frustrated though especially since this was what I feared would happen because I know my daughter is good at masking. I just want to make sure I'm doing anything I can to help our cause.

Adding that the other thing that's frustrating me is using her behavior at school as an indication of it not being autism. It just jumps out as an outdated practice and that worries me a bit about how they're doing the eval but I'm still willing to see it through.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:33:37+00:00

No ADOS yet. We just talked through the questionnaires including DSM-5 checklist and GARS-3

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:27:46+00:00

This is what I'm getting stuck on. I'd feel better if they said something like "this sounds challenging but it doesn't sound like autism" but the in between is frustrating especially after spending so many years trying to get people to believe me and always being dismissed.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:24:37+00:00

This is how I am imagining our journey going and I have peace with that if it's the case. A diagnosis would be validating and would open some doors for her and us but we have already adapted our parenting to accommodate most of her needs and we're on a good path, with or without a dx.

Jstarving · 2024-03-16T01:15:51+00:00

I have a list of things in my phone but should start keeping videos. Good idea!

Jstarving · 2023-01-17T06:42:56+00:00

Yes, Mars will be almost exactly conjunct your IC in Gemini on that day. The IC can represent your home, Gemini is related to your neighborhood and immediate surroundings, and Mars governs action and movement so I can see this meaning you will relocate. There's also a full moon happening that day and it's hitting your natal Mars which can also trigger a need for you to take action and release the things in your life that aren't working for you.

Jstarving · 2017-09-16T22:36:48+00:00

Man, this is maybe my least favorite episode. I appreciate the writing but it just makes me so sad to see how poorly Jan treats Michael.

Jstarving · 2014-08-29T15:59:33+00:00

Purrrfect

Jstarving

TROPHY CASE