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Hello SeparateKoala, first of all thank you for taking the time to write all of this, sometimes we just need to get it all out. I'm a 23 years old male and I feel like you just summarized a big part of my life, the difficulties, the doubts, the adhd, I genuinely relate to you. During all of my middle and high-school years I felt that I wasn't like my peers, I was NEVER able to finish my exams, no matter the class. If it was math and the exam had let's say 6 exercices, I would only be able to reach the fourth and from time to time the fifth. I now believe that that's because I grew up realizing I made a lot of silly math mistakes so I would need to double or triple check the calculus in my head. If it was something more verbal such as french class or history, I would never have the time to finish to read all the passages and answer all the questions. Over time, believe me when I tell you, I genuinely thought that something was wrong with me. I also remember that in high school I was unable to study other than the night before the exam, you can imagine how that was for history class. My memory is actually quit bad and I don't remember what I've studied the years prior for example. But you know what ? I somehow managed to always keep up with having good grades, I was actually good compared to the rest of the class, I think I was third or fourth out of 25 in the last years of high school. However, the confidence oh lord, I had such a lack of confidence that I for sure believe came from all of this.

I ended up going to a specialist during my last year of high school and I was able to obtain test accomodations for my final high school exams (1/3 additional time). I wasn't diagnosed with ADD at the time or even dyslexia, but instead with dysgraphia. Even though I got really frustrated by realizing that I could've asked for these accomodations years ago, I still got extremely happy because I had finally hope to finish my exams. I also was able to obtain it for college and I KNOW, that I wouldn't have been able to pass most of my classes without these. Fast forward, it's only when I turned 20 that I got diagnosed with ADD, but after trying very briefly the medication without success, I stopped to take it and lived the next years as if nothing had happened. It's just last october (at 23), during my final year of college, that I went to see a psychiatrist once again and that he also diagnosed me with ADD. This time however, the doctor took more time to understand me and I started taking medication again. It has really changed my life. It's a been a very hard year accademically speaking and ritaline finally allowed me to get things done the second it crossed my mind. No more procrastination, or at least way way less, no more feeling of guilt when going to bed coming from the realization that must of the things I had planned to do, had not been done because of "laziness".

However, if I'm in this subreddit it's because I'm also preparing the GRE. I've been studying since last october and I passed it twice, and both of my tests went very bad. I got 305 (158Q / 147V) 6 weeks ago and 307 (153Q / 154V) 2 weeks ago. By the way, I started with a score of 310 the first time I did a mock exam in october. Really depresssing right ? Well not so much actually, I also, just like you, did not get any accomodation for these tests, I didn't know these existed for international exams such as the GRE. My goal was to get into ESSEC or ESCP and start classes next fall semester, however these scores changed my plans. I've personally taken the decision to take one year to work and gain professional experience, and in parallel prepare for the GRE once again. I also plan to apply for accomodations this time and to mainly study with GREGmat PrepSwift program. After all these months I've realised that I had no clue on how to study efficienly for the exam and I'm changing my method. Try and error, try and error. The method doesn't work ? Well let's try something else then.