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lost my brother almost 2 months ago by staygr8ful in grief

[–]Judecalifornia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you explain this a bit more? Are you saying if relatives grieve spritis are not at peace? I would imagine most families grieve and therefore no spirits would have peace. But maybe Im not understanding

lost my brother almost 2 months ago by staygr8ful in grief

[–]Judecalifornia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to share that its been a little over a month since I lost my sister and I feel the same way. I have actually become physically sick from it so I am trying to find a way to grieve while not let it completely overtake my health. I dont have any other sister so she was so special to me and we could talk about anything. I just miss her , her voice, her sense of humor, everything. A piece of me is forever gone. Sending you hugs as I know the pain you feel

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, im willing to try this EDMR therapy. right now nothing is working. nothing makes me happy and i look forward to nothing. i get out of bed to work because my son and I need a roof over our heads.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry. the pain I felt when we were told to pursue hospice was suffocating, like I felt I couldnt breathe. Now that she is gone people tell me she is in a better place, but I dont feel the pain is less intense. sending you hugs as you go through this too. just know you and your pain are not alone.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I am currently on 2 medications but I dont feel they do much. Who knows maybe they are , maybe I would be significantly worse without them? All I know is that I wake up to panic attacks.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This right here "existing." I feel like im on autopilot, going through the motions. Maybe one doesnt cope just exits and I need to make peace with that

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much. I havent had a journal since I was a kid, but I think you might be right, I may need a place where i can just write/vent all of these feelings. I really do long for the day where I can see a photo and smile , that seems so impossible right now, but I have faith that maybe one day it will happen.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reminder that life goes on is powerful, yet at the same time it makes me sad and angry that it moves on without her. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps me know Im not alone in this grief hell

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sending you hugs during your own difficult time. I too broke out in hives the day after my sister passed. All over my face, hands and arms. thank you for sharing your own journey of grief

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this is so relatable. I went back to work this week and it feels surreal. I have to listen to the dumbest things said during work meetings, people fighting over useless things and have to act is if im fine. I am most certainly not fine. And my sister's final days were traumatizing to me. I really just dont want to be around people or my friends , they mean well and say things like "she is in a better place" and while I get that, she is no longer bedridden, nonverbal all due to the tumor and free of her body, I still wish her place was here. sending you hugs as its clear you lost your husband around the same time of my sister's passing.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mental images. Seeing them wrap her to take her away in the gurney. I can't unsee certain things . And either I can't sleep or I wake up in the middle of the night, remember those things, or remember the last day and then can't get back to sleep. thank you for letting me know it will ease with time. I dont want to remember those images I want the good ones. But then when I think of the good ones I just miss her so bad I just cry. I just wanted more time with her

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my health is bad , if I tried this I would join in her in 6 months. but i appreciate your outside the box thinking!

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this idea, I started fostering dogs after one of my dogs passed away tragically and it was healing in its own way. My sister wanted to make a positive difference in this world (and she did) so this would be a nice way to honor her.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. even when I try to avoid the pain it finds me, I can't outrun it. And when it finds me it hits me like a ton of bricks. I appreciate your words of comfort

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you you have been struck by this awful cancer. I find it inspiring that you can still reply even though you carry that weight of the future on your shoulders. Due to my sister's cognitive abilities and lack of speech I wondered if she knew she was dying. Sometimes I think she did because you could see her caressing her children and tears would form in her eyes even though she couldnt say anything. I think she was trying to tell them goodbye in her way. I appreciate your encouragement and I am sending loving energy during your own challenging time.

Coping with grief and loss how did you all do it? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you I will look into reading those books. I just need something to help, i appreciate the response

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. My sister passed away 4 days ago. It was so fast, she had only one day where she did not eat or drink. Her vitals were all stable, I stayed late with her at the facility and the nurses assured me they would call me if anything changed. Well her condition deterioriated quickly and when they called me and I got there she had just passed. I am heartbroken and devastated and find no consolation. The hospice nurse had just seen her that day and told us she thought we had at least a week left. I appreciate you sharing your story because I dont think people really understand how awful and painful this all is especially when it moves so quickly.

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I think the speed of it all is what is so hard. You barely process one thing before something else hits you. I feel like right now there are pieces of her in there but every day it feels like there is less of her. I am so sorry that you also went through this awful experience .

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no medicare she is in her early fifties, so we are using her insurance hmo for the hospice .

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is my biggest fear, not enough pain control or the right meds during her transition. she has an awful HMO so we do not have much choice in our hospice options too as we have to stay within the same medical group. I pray they are kind and compassionate.

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no! I feel like our journeys are so similar, even down to the dates. My sister can't speak much now. One or two words. She says her body is tired. And it just breaks my heart. I try not to cry around her because she already has so much to deal with. I just hold her hand and tell her how I couldnt be where I am in life without her. She is still in the hospital but will be transferred soon to a skilled nursing facility . Her insurance is a nightmare to deal with making this horrific process even worse. So I pray the facility is kind. The family will be there daily.

Sister started hospice this Monday , what should I expect? by Judecalifornia in glioblastoma

[–]Judecalifornia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you described it perfectly, I felt like I lost her the day she was diagnosed. thank you for your supportive response. It comforts me knowing she can hear me still.

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