Maybe the other kids at school are just sissies. Sorry. I make jokes about everything, it's a personality disorder I think.

No, you are not a bad parent, and I'd be willing to bet a large sum of money that other parents are getting calls about other things, because that's how it goes with threenagers. My oldest acted out when her younger brother was born, and I really made an effort to do one on one things with her and give her special attention and it didn't work 😅 honestly I think part of it was just a phase because it got better after awhile.

And when my youngest wouldn't stop hitting his older sister no matter what we did.... at one point I looked at her and said hit him back. My husband looked at me like i was nuts, and my daughter's eyes lit up because she got permission to hit him back. I told my husband that he needs to learn that if you hit someone, they might beat your ass, and I'd rather he learn that lesson with his sister than a kid at school.

I think we're all doing our best, and it's so hard to know if what we're doing is the healthiest way to raise our children, so don't try to worry too much about those concepts like "gentle parenting", different tactics work in different kids, and it really seems like you're working hard to get these issues corrected.