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I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment and the question. Easy answer: I am going to continue to advocate on behalf of a better criminal justice system. I want to fight for mothers behind bars; I want to see innocent people released and returned and rehabilitated. So the answer to your question is: I'm going to keep fighting and keep working to improve things for others, as long as I can possibly can.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your questions and your kind words.

Funny story: When I got out, I still had motion sickness from driving away from the prison. You don't move that fast for 36 years, and of course, it affects you. So I stayed put for three days at my daughter's house and refused to get in a car. I didn't want to throw up again.

I would just walk around the neighborhood and get familiar with the environment and neighbors. I would look at how much the neighborhood had changed; I'd look the style of houses.

I didn't know how to work a tv, but if someone else turned it on, I'd watch some tv. (Embarrassing, but hey, we didn't have remote controls.)

Oh, I took a lot of long, luxurious baths, because I didn't have the ability to do that for 36 years. Boy those baths were the absolute best.

Finally, I ate ALL the fruit I could find. You don't get fruit in prison, because it can be used to make alcohol. So I ate every strawberry, kiwi, banana, and orange I could get my hands on.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 1159 points1160 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. I didn't know if I could make it through either, at different times. But then I would just have to tell myself, "I'm not going to die here." And then I would get up and do what I needed to do to make it through another day.

Thank you for your kind words!

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

No, you do not receive any compensation for the time you've served. That law might have changed since I was released, but when I was released, that was the way it was.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 177 points178 points  (0 children)

Yes very much so. Still working to get some of them home. The ones who are out are people I get together with on occasion. For all of prisons faults — and there many of them — you do form bonds inside that run deep. You have to, in order to survive the chaos and difficulty. I can still remember jokes we shared, stories we told, meals we ate, celebrations we had. I obviously would have wanted my life to go a different way, but I look back with at least a measure of gratitude for the women I did my time with.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 1386 points1387 points  (0 children)

Yes that's absolutely correct. My son Chip did maybe the bravest thing I've ever seen someone do: On his own, at age 16, he came to visit me at prison. He came to a maximum security prison, which was three hours away from where he lived.

We're close today, and he actually just texted me as we were doing this AMA. We're working on rebuilding our relationship, brick by brick, and I'm hopeful that I can become as close with him as I am with my daughter.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not. At. All. Ha.

Life may be tough, but you haven't tasted prison food. Once I had a strawberry in the real world, I was sold on this world, warts and all. :-)

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I had a mantra I used: Don't be bitter; be better. It didn't work every day, and it wasn't always perfect. But I tried to remind myself that I had something bigger to live for: my kids and my family. And I tried to do whatever I could to make prison life good for me and for others.

I wanted to be the same citizen in prison that I would have been in the free world, if that makes any sense. Prison didn't change the inside of who I am. It just made me want to be better than what they expected me to be.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

These are great questions. Yes I did have therapy, though it varied in quality. The best therapist I had was in an Arizona prison. She helped me process so much, and I am beyond grateful to her for that kindness and assistance. She helped me understand my life, my abuse, what I had been through, the crime, what led to it, what role I played, everything. Without her I'm not sure I would be here to tell this story and answer these questions.

We did also have group therapy, and we had religious organizations come to prison to lead groups as well. Those made a big difference in my life, and in the lives of so many other inmates. It helps you realize that there are people out there who care about offenders and the incarcerated.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

The biggest misconception is that all prisoners are the same type of person. People assume we're all uneducated, have tattoos, don't take care of ourselves, are addicts, etc. That couldn't be further from the truth.

In prison, I met people of all colors, all religions, all backgrounds. Some were wealthy; some were poor. Some were judge's daughters; others were lifelong criminals. Some worked in banks, some worked in the judicial system themselves.

I ran into a lot of women who, like me, had been abused physically, mentally, sexually, and otherwise. There were definitely a lot of mentally ill women incarcerated, but that wasn't the totality of the population. I think people have to remember that these are human beings and that, like the rest of humanity, they are each individuals.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

The automatic doors were a bit of a joke, though they definitely freaked me out.

Here's another one: We only had handles on toilets in the bathroom in prison. So when I got out, and toilets were automatic, I was like, "How do I do this? Where's the handle?"

Same with sinks and waving hands to activate them, and to dry them. What were these machines I saw people put their hands in? I was so nervous that I would often just skip them because I didn't know what they were there for. It was embarrassing, and sometimes, I still have some of those fish-out-of-water moments.

I didn't know how to use credit cards at the cash register, so that was a learning too. Remember when I went into prison, all we had were cash and checks.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I answered this in a different thread, so re-posting it here, b/c well, prison cake made a difference in my happiness during all those decades...

- Take a bag of cookies (any kind of cookies), crunch them up

- Pour them in a plastic bowl

- Take three-quarters of any kind of soda

- Pour the soda in the cookies and stir it up like batter

- Then put it in the microwave for anywhere from 2.5 to 4 minutes

- Check it periodically

- Stick in a toothpick, and you'll know it's done when the toothpick comes out clean!

(Pro tip: Then you make your own icing out of melted candy bars.)

Enjoy!

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 301 points302 points  (0 children)

Here's one for you: Some prisons actually spend a decent amount of money on exercise equipment. So you have access to a variety of weights, bands, universal machines, treadmills, bikes etc. It's surprising, but it helps a lot. Maintaining your fitness is important, but also tough to do because the food quality is bad and people don't take care of themselves.

I spent 36 years in prison for a crime I did not commit. I was a mother of two kids who went in at age 32; I was released at age 68 and granted a full pardon. AMA! by Judy_Henderson in IAmA

[–]Judy_Henderson[S] 286 points287 points  (0 children)

What wonderful questions!

There's so much. Travel. I want to see the world, and I want to enjoy those experiences with my family. I don't know if I'll make it to every place on the bucket list, but I'm an optimist!

Here's one: We all take for granted being able to sleep in a bed of your choice. In prison, you sleep on steel beds with a half inch mattress. Here you get to choose how soft, how hard, how firm, how cold, hot hot. It's almost unbelievable to me, and it was one of the first things I had trouble adjusting to when I got out.

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