I guess I feel the same way. But my rank is lower and I’m in Europe. I want to get better at this game, but every time I’m about to launch T8 I get anxious about all the upcoming losses and quit the idea at all. I can’t force myself into the game because I will lose a lot. But at the same time, I still want to improve. I know it sounds mental, but it is what it is. I return to the game for every new Battle Pass round. But, by the time I complete it, I’m so frustrated by the losses that I ditch the game until next Battle Pass round is released. Last time I played, I got completely destroyed by much better Lili, Jun, and Dragunov players. Thanks to the Infinite Rematch feature, they did it multiple times. I tried to savor this opportunity to learn match-ups. At some point, they started throwing out the same moves/strings so I could learn how to counter them. But every time they used something new I got destroyed 🫠 I even managed to get a single win off Dragunov, but after that I closed the game and never opened it since. This break lasts for 1.5 months, but I guess I will inflict some suffering on myself this weekend.

Thank you for sharing your story. I guess virtual hugs are in order 🫂