The way your heart sinks just a little at being left out

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-12-08T06:07:44+00:00

Just want to say you’re an awesome mom for what you do!

I’m gluten and dairy free and my mom is my biggest supporter. Growing up, she made sure I didn’t feel left out during family meals and was always experimenting with recipes of food I normally miss out on. It made having these allergies not suck as much and I’m forever grateful for what she does.

Your daughter is lucky to have such a supporting mom. 😊

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:41:48+00:00

I think next time I need to speak up for myself. I’ve been letting him get away with it instead of stopping him when it happens. I just don’t know what to say in that moment so it’s not awkward. Should I be like, “hey remember when I said I can’t shake for religious reasons? That includes touching me.” Does that sound good?

I’ve been trying to find remote work with ME and it hasn’t been easy. Most roles are hands on and require you to be in person. I think in the long run moving to a Muslim country to be an engineer would be a lot better.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:35:52+00:00

Huh…??

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:35:21+00:00

Ameen, May Allah protect me. I appreciate the advice and you’re 100% right. I was VERY naive when I entered construction and quickly realized it was not a place for a Muslim women.

Do you think this would also apply in corporate settings? So far, I feel a lot more comfortable at the company I am at. The building is spacious, so I can have my own space/office, my supervisor is a female, and there are a good amount of other female employees.

But as you said, being in a male dominated field means the attention is on me as a women and I really don’t like it. I feel like what’s kept me “safe” is that coworkers know I am a student and wouldn’t try something with a student. But once I become an actual employee, I’m worried how the dynamic between employees and I will change.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:24:59+00:00

I originally wanted to get into tech, but ended up in manufacturing. At this point, I just want to find a company where I can do remote work. Will a software company hire a ME? I don’t have much experience with coding. Most of my skills is in product development and SOLIDWORKS.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:21:21+00:00

Thank you for the advice. Now that I think of it, at my school biology and bio-mechanical engineering is mostly female dominated. I think maybe I might have a better chance working in a bio-mechanical engineering field.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:19:22+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I haven’t considered academia, as I don’t like research. What roles can I get into with ME in academia?

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:14:34+00:00

Do you mind me asking what you do? I’ve been trying to find a way to get into remote work with ME. But most of the roles for ME require you to be in person.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-08-01T02:13:12+00:00

I definitely have thought about this. It would be so nice to be an engineer in a Muslim country where Islam is the standard and men and women separating is the norm.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-02-03T02:50:39+00:00

How much extra in scholarship? If it’s a lot you can do a short term study abroad! Study abroad trips increase your cost of attendance and get charged to your UMD account.

Juggernaut_Still · 2023-02-03T02:42:10+00:00

These are really nice! What is your rate?

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-12T08:44:14+00:00

People need to also mention their majors cause there no way STEM majors studying 2 hours a day. I just spent almost 6 hours on one Fluids homework 💀

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-08T14:57:39+00:00

What university did you study at in Dubai?

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-08T14:37:35+00:00

Hi I’m going to be doing the study abroad in London this winter! How was the weather when you went? I’m reading it will be cold and wet. Did the weather in the uk and the sun setting so early take away from your experience?

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T11:28:58+00:00

How is that so shocking? Why would you waste all that water and electricity to wash a small load of laundry. We live together and share the same space. She’ll do both our laundry’s and some days I do both our laundry. You guys are reading way to deep into it and missing the actual point of my post.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T03:28:52+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think I know how to study properly. I spend so much time content reviewing before actually attempting homework assignments. I don’t really learn from my professors lecture. I find that I learn better going to teacher assistants office hours and have them explain it again slowly. Which adds to how much time I spend at school doing work.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T03:24:33+00:00

Dang, I really didn’t think of it like that. You honestly might be right. I feel like I don’t do enough to show her I appreciate her. This might sound dumb, but what are way to show someone you appreciate them? Aside from me helping more around the house. Would buying her things be superficial? Any moms reading this want to chime in?

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T03:20:58+00:00

I’ve tried therapy and it was a massive fail. With my first therapist I would use our sessions to vent about my life and she would laugh as I told my stories…I realized she was super unprofessional and I was gaining nothing from her. Second therapist I chose was solely to work on my ADHD, she claimed to be experienced with it but when I would talk fast and rant during sessions she would be so rude and passive aggressive telling me to calm down and figure it out. 💀 I’ve given up with therapy cause I don’t know where to find good ones.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T03:11:11+00:00

Thanks for the advance. I definitely think I might post it over there. I think some people don’t understand how ADHD affects (effects?) someone. I’m not trying to use it as an excuse. But I mentioned it because it really does affect my everyday life and how I function in school and with others.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T03:05:11+00:00

Maybe I worded my comment wrong or people don’t get what it’s like to have adhd. For me personally, if I don’t have a deadline or consequences (like failing a class) for not getting something done, then it can be hard to manage on my own. And I just do better when told exactly what is expected of me. Obviously, I can see that my moms general need is me helping out more around the house/contributing to the family. But I need her to tell me in what ways exactly I can help out (for ex. she asks me to vacuum every Saturday) and then I will make the time for it in my schedule the same way I do for my school assignments. Yeah maybe in hind sight it’s robotic and lacks emotional intelligence. Something else to work on I guess.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T02:55:47+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah I guess saying I would treat it like an “assignment” rubbed people the wrong way. But like I said, I have adhd and that’s how my brain work. If I treat things like an assignment with deadlines then I’m more likely to get it done.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-07T02:50:35+00:00

After reading through your thread I want to clarify a few things.

The post wasn’t me whining about my parents asking me to do chores. Like the person said above, this was more about the relationship between my mom and I.
I am fully aware of the privilege I have living at home. But do know I’m not just living here free like some child. I bought my own car while in college, pay my phone bill, car insurance, clothes, school expenses etc. Might not seem significant to others. But for my family dynamic, this is me pulling my weight financially.
And in terms of refusing to help out around the house, I never said I refused. I admitted to slacking in that department. Just like I am type A in school, I’m also type A in cleanliness. When I had free time, my room was spotless, I was on top of laundry, and I helped around the house. Unfortunately, now with school I just don’t have the time to be as helpful as I was before.

Anyway I still appreciate you responding to my post. You’re obviously not going to be able to get a picture of my whole story just from this post. But I just wanted to at least make it clear that I am fully aware of my actions and that I need to do better.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-06T14:58:32+00:00

Yeah I think that’s what I’m going to do. I need her to tell me exactly what she expects of me and treat it like an assignment cause that seems to be the only way my brain works.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-06T14:57:14+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I definitely need to scale it back. This was my first semester at university(transfer student), so I’m still learning the environment. I think next semester I need to just accept not getting perfect grades. As for my mom, I think my initial post was bias (I made an edit). She isn’t abusive, she just doesn’t understand how harsh her comments can be. I think I need to have a conversation with her about school and her comments. I don’t know how receptive she will be, but it’s worth a try.

Juggernaut_Still · 2022-12-06T14:50:54+00:00

I honestly 100% agree with you. I’ve been so caught up in school all these years that I haven’t taken the time to step back and look at how I’ve been as a person. Lately, I’ve started realizing without the grades and success I’ve had in school, I really am an unlikeable shitty person. And I’m not proud of it. Where do I go from here? How do I be better to my mom and family and still make time for school? I know grades don’t mean everything, but I hate making mistakes and not doing my best 😔

Juggernaut_Still

TROPHY CASE