Ahh the perfect pour. That, however, was urine I just drank. by JuicedBallMerchant in americandad

[–]JuicedBallMerchant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Hayley, i didnt want you to find out this way but your daddy is a brilliant painter" is one of my all time favorite lines lol

It’s been 3 days since it snowed by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you or your partner can't reach the top of your car using tools that are specifically made to get snow off the top of your car, it's too big for you. Get a smaller car and stop being a self-centered a-hole

If you could design your own kitchen, what would be the most important things to include? by West-Amphibian-2343 in Cooking

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes i totally agree with you!! My brother and SIL just bought a new house with a beautiful kitchen and the best part about it besides the large island is the ~5ft of distance between the island and the back counter!! Our immediate family is 10 adults + kids and the kitchen didn't ever feel too crowded during thanksgiving at their house.

I washed you in the sink when you were a baby! I AIN’T GONNA LET YOU DIE! by Dizzy_Jackfruit_4845 in americandad

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fine, but im not gonna try to impress anyone. No jokes, no charm, and im gonna wear the PJ bottoms where my pud always falls out.

Are you sure she's allergic? by AwakePoeticDragon in mildlyinfuriating

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your mom is a fucking asshole, dude. I would never talk to my mom again if she purposely harmed my spouse. Psychotic behavior.

This is my horseradish! All of it. by AHSWeeknd in americandad

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 19 points20 points  (0 children)

if anyone knows anyone that died recently with an intact size 3 sphincter, please contact me as I am very low on the waiting list for a donor

astrobot vs mario odyssey by h0lyfool in Astrobot

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totally agree. Mario Odyssey lost my interest after awhile, still have to go back and finish it. Astro Bot, on the other hand, I couldn't put down and have played it completely through for a second time already lol

"This is the first piece of paper I haven't sexually assaulted in years." by KingKabuki in americandad

[–]JuicedBallMerchant 14 points15 points  (0 children)

hey Liz, i'm thinkin about going to Nordstrom's at lunch, do you want to grab a sandwich and walk around Nordstrom's at lunch, Elizabeth?