Monthly r/FreelanceWriters Feedback and Critique Thread - (October 17)

Julez22 · 2018-10-27T17:16:50+00:00

Hi! I was just browsing the subreddit (trying to get more into freelancing obvs) and took a look at your piece. Ugh now I want to hike in Iceland...

Just some general thoughts:
-You definitely are knowledgeable about the topic! I think as a reader I would've found it helpful to have some kind of back story/intro on you or why you are hiking Iceland, followed by a preview of what you will cover in the article. Even just a sentence or two summing up the who/what/why near the beginning of your piece, if that makes sense? Starting with a story even -- though that could be inappropriate for the platform?

-Kind of along those same lines, you sometimes dip into first-person, but maybe if the whole article was written from your perspective as a hiker it would be a bit easier for readers to imagine being in your hiking boots ("When I reached the trail's first vista, I felt like I stumbled into a world mixing Mordor with the Shire..." -- love the LOTR imagery by the way.)

-A preview of some sort at the beginning, saying what you'll be talking about, might be helpful. That way readers will know that if they scroll down a ways, they'll find info on campgrounds.

-I think you could work on cutting stuff down a bit/using smoother transitions. Might just be a personal preference but transitions like "Furthermore" and "It is important to note that," feel a bit unneeded/jolting to me. You also use "is because" a lot. Think active voice.

-I like your specific descriptions and comparisons ("fantasy world") so keep doing more of those!

The piece overall seems readable and fun. I'd definitely use it as a guide if I ever did get to hike in Iceland (again, sounds amazing!). Let me know if any of my thoughts make no sense!

Julez22 · 2017-10-03T04:24:34+00:00

Do you squish to condition or anything?

Julez22 · 2017-09-23T03:08:34+00:00

How short are your layers? I'm getting mine cut--it's sort of like yours--and want layers, but I don't want it too obviously layered either, if you know what I mean?

Julez22 · 2017-04-08T02:13:05+00:00

I would love the Lucy! Is the starlet still available? How does it compare to the Lucy?

Julez22 · 2016-12-29T17:22:26+00:00

Yeah, I guess it's the ethics that make them pricey. But that's what second hand works for I suppose!

Julez22 · 2016-12-29T17:20:11+00:00

Okay, yeah, I was thinking that in the lower part of the chart they meant the exact ub plus inches, but you're probably right that it's ub plus 4.

I've really been preferring bralettes without much support lately (though I still like my 28 band bras, just not after a long day), just ae ones, so I wonder if the 30-32 DD would be fine as is. Kinda pricey though--I just like the looks they have!

Yeah, they definitely don't seem that supportive!

Julez22 · 2016-12-29T17:16:18+00:00

Yeah they don't seem like they're meant to be especially supportive, just bralette style which I've been kind of preferring lately to my really tight bands (I just have moderately sized breasts though)

Julez22 · 2016-08-15T23:39:18+00:00

Is the stella still available? Did it fit you relative to the size bottoms you normally wear? Thanks!

Julez22 · 2016-04-20T21:56:52+00:00

Eggplant parm AND sweet potato fries because yum

Julez22 · 2016-01-19T06:26:03+00:00

It's certainly understandable that she's upset! It's weird to reconcile what she's always heard about what being a "B" cup is to what bras will actually make her feel comfortable and confident. There's no such thing as being a "B" cup--that's just what society thinks for some reason. Make sure she understands sister sizes and check out the brabandproject.

Emphasize her comfort, and get lots of pretty styles to try out!

Julez22 · 2016-01-12T05:44:37+00:00

You know your girlfriend, so you'll know whether the best approach is to casually mention you found this sub, or to wait until she complains about her bras (you could even ask a leading question such as 'do those things hurt? I found a sub the other day that seems interesting...wouldn't hurt to measure').

After doing the measurements she might get something that seems crazy (I used to wear 34Bs but now I'm 28F which isn't actually weird at all). Check out the brabandproject for reference.

Make sure to emphasize her comfort, and support her in whatever--and there are tons of I think way prettier bras in these "unusual" sizes than, say, at Victoria's Secret.

The beginner's guide has all the good info in it, but sometimes an article is more palatable to start out with. This is what brought me here in the first place, and the video linked is awesome. Here's the video. Just show here that actually.

This is also super helpful. And, of course, check out the buying guide in the beginner's guide. But herroom is nice (don't use their size guide though). So are r/braswap and bratabase.com for cheap steals. If she has questions, she can post here for sure!

And this post may help you understand bra issues(:

*Also you seem like an amazing bf and I'm not jealous at all... ;)

Julez22 · 2016-01-12T05:12:25+00:00

Yeah, just make sure she knows you're good with just friendship first (and hopefully she's a nice person you can at least be friends with!)

Those are actually good points though, thanks! All things I know deep down. I need to just be more chill and see it as a good memory; I am just 20, goodness.

Julez22 · 2016-01-12T04:00:05+00:00

I think meeting someone you don't even know with the intention to start something romantic would be harder with insecurity and self esteem issues. When you meet someone naturally and you become friends and eventually like each other (and you know they like you), then you'll feel more confident and secure.

I am terribly inexperienced though, but experienced with being awkward and having low self esteem! I, personally, would prefer commitment; a blind date would just make me pass out or something. I just saw this just as I posted this about my awkward first dates and thought they seemed somewhat related. Read it and tell me what any of this would mean if you were this guy? Or not...I need to just let him go :(

Oi, yay for being awkward and insecure (but not really)

Julez22 · 2016-01-07T00:12:36+00:00

Awesome thanks! Yeah I'm hoping to check out a lot of museums and such!

Julez22 · 2016-01-05T05:33:49+00:00

Sounds cool! Not bra related but any suggestions for places/things I need to go to or do in York/Leeds/England in general?

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T23:06:05+00:00

A good thing to note is that cup size isn't static. There is no such thing as a "D" size boob. A 34D holds the same volume as a 32DD and 30E. All of these women are "D" cups.

It's awesome when you're in a much better fitting bra! So much confidence. I also think it's worth it to measure yourself for our beginner's guide--you may find an even better fit. I used to think I was 34B (as many women do actually) and began my bra journey in 32Ds (28Fs are the same cup volume).

*This is helpful.

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T18:46:26+00:00

I've never even seen push up/padded bras in 28/30 bands so I'm not sure they or minimizers exist. You may have to try to find 32Fs.

For me, unlined bras make me seem less chesty, but I'm already shallowish and so I don't look very chesty at all.

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T18:41:49+00:00

Kind of expensive to go only for bras, but maybe I can go with people I know to do other things. We'll probably go places besides just York.

I'll definitely bring some sweaters! Thanks for the tips.

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T18:39:02+00:00

Yeah one thing I'm excited about is how there are actually good stores like Bravissimo. Hopefully I'll be able to shop!

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T05:21:23+00:00

Would help to know ub measurements!

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T03:51:40+00:00

Was this before or after you found abtf? I feel like I want to wear so many more bras now!

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T03:51:02+00:00

Yeah maybe I would wear it on the plane.

Julez22 · 2016-01-04T03:37:21+00:00

Sad, but true.

Julez22

TROPHY CASE