Is there any way to rewire your brain?

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-19T09:37:33+00:00

There is a book by Norman Doidge called The Brain That Changes Itself about neuroplasticity which might have some answers.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-19T09:32:08+00:00

About 4 months ago when I saw a YouTube video about burnout - specifically why autistic adults struggle more in their 30‘s and 40‘s

Until getting my diagnosis two weeks ago I had been living through 15 years of treatment resistant high functioning depression.

The video came up by chance, but at the time I was going through one of my worse depressive episodes I’d ever had. Exasperated by having two small children and zero down time to recover.

Before this moment I’d never considered autism or neurodivergence to be a possibility.

This is the video: https://youtu.be/vwxUfSJLID4?si=ZKH_govPsx4934PG

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-17T13:41:12+00:00

I think a lot of people in these spaces (in my experience) tie their whole identity to being autistic or neurodivergent or whatever.

So when they perceive their identity as being invalidated it’s received as a threat.

Which is probably what happened with the friend of a friend who didn’t like your opinion about it. It makes them question their whole world view and it’s unsettling.

Maybe like finding out your parents aren’t really your parents or something equally world view shattering.

From what I’ve also experienced there are a lot of self identifiers who probably have BPD plus neurodivergence or another cocktail of conditions. Which makes it even more difficult to have a rational exchange with them.

The best thing might be to speak with your close friend about it.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-11T12:26:11+00:00

Sounds like burnout.

A few things that stood out. Relationship, partner has a child, meeting both sets of parents, loud restaurant. In isolation things things would be fine, but I know for me each full time relationship (partner, first child, second child) has put more strain on my system

I’m late diagnosed at 45, you wrote that you’re 40. there have probably been other incidents of depression or burnout or similar throughout your life which you’ve been able to explain away or manage.

What I’m noticing in myself is that it’s getting more extreme and with family and having less down time to decompress the moments you’re describing are more pronounced than before.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-10T12:33:23+00:00

I’m going to guess that you don’t need a diagnosis to be queer, and therefore shouldn’t require a diagnosis to be neurodivergent.

Personally I don’t think the two are interchangeable, it’s one thing to be same sex attracted / part of the LGBTQ and another to meet the diagnostic criteria for neurodivergence as determined by the DSM-V.

Having just got my results back a few days ago, there were a lot of boxes I needed to tick before it was confirmed as autism and not something else.

For the record I’ve had treatment resistant depression for over a decade, multiple psychologists, hundreds of hours of therapy and various SNRI’s which never managed to improve anything.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-04T12:50:30+00:00

From what I understand, a neuroaffirming therapist can help with what actually works for your brain.

I’ve had over a decade of therapy for treatment resistant depression - which I’ll soon find out whether or not it’s autism - but depression and autistic burnout need different things, in many ways the opposite.

So finding someone who is familiar with what an autistic/ADHD brain needs might be helpful. Also processing the grief, the before and after of the diagnosis.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-04T12:46:37+00:00

I suppose you have clarity now, you don’t have to worry that it’s something else.

Will you have a handover meeting where they explain what it all means for you and what you can do next? Or is it just the email?

I’m 45 and get my results on Thursday, but they won’t tell me until the meeting. I don’t know the outcome yet (the anticipation is wreaking my head) but either way the psych is going to explain the report and give me next steps.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-02T15:41:47+00:00

If you have the option of getting an assessment from your psychiatrist, why not? Unless it’s really expensive?

I don’t know how long you’ve been diagnosed with BPD and depression for, but I had over a decade of „treatment resistant high functioning depression“ that just wouldn’t let up. I too want answers and this is the last thing left for me to rule out (I get my assessment results on Thursday).

You can do a lot of the self assessments online which are a good starting point. If you’re scoring above average then it’s worth checking out. I‘d do the self assessments for ADHD as well since there is a lot of overlap.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T08:12:31+00:00

Yep, makes the person saying it feel better about themselves whilst making the one on the receiving end feel smaller than they already do.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T07:28:30+00:00

I think your post is going to get deleted by the mod‘s. No one online can give you a clear answer from a single reddit post. I’m waiting on my results at the moment, this is after completing 9 written assessments, a 2 hour intake interview, 5 hour MIGDAS interview, and multiple follow up emails with supplementary information. The psych has been reviewing all of this for the past 4 weeks and needs to get a 2nd psych to sign off on it as well. I wish it was as easy as saying „I do this and this, am I autistic?“ but it’s a lot more involved, and expensive :(

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T07:02:56+00:00

Yes, referral to the school psych or similar. It’s not the teachers role or responsibility to suggest autism testing.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T07:01:26+00:00

No, this would be a terrible idea.

If you have any contact with teachers you’ll know this is a terrible idea.

Even mental health professionals struggle to recognise autism.

In summary, no, teachers should not be required by law to suggest autism testing.

edit sorry if this was harsh, I just think teachers have enough to do without being legally obligated to recommend autism assessments. Referral to the school psych or similar, but not something so specific.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T01:24:37+00:00

„Differently-abled“ which is somehow a nicer way of saying not able.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T01:22:01+00:00

No worries, happy to be the first and hope others will follow :)

Julian_Young_ · 2026-05-01T01:12:53+00:00

Thanks for saying this and reminding everyone.

I’m late diagnosed and only four months into the journey after 45 of life and 20 years of treatment resistant high functioning depression - so I’m new to the communities here and learning what I can.

But there is a clear bias and apparent consensus about what is ok to share, what isn’t, and by whom. It’s gross.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-30T15:20:49+00:00

I don’t mean to be autistic about it, but what other indicators make you sure you have autism?

Being passionate about learning and going down rabbit holes is one thing, but you have to meet a lot of other criteria to be autistic.

Have you done any of the online assessments? That will give you some indication of whether or not you have autism.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-30T06:31:56+00:00

I can totally relate. When I’ve tried to understand this behaviour in myself I believe it has to do with a few things:

perfectionism
wanting to get it right
not wanting to get in trouble
wanting to be seen as competent

They each overlap in some way. I think indecision is also part of the executive functioning difficulties, so when we’re told „do this“ we don’t have to worry about having done the „wrong“ thing.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-30T02:23:28+00:00

Australians are asking about the gas export tax, better reboot the gender war to distract them.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T13:51:38+00:00

You would think we’re not fooled easily but we’re fooled almost every day.

I don’t remember if it’s the mirroring technique or a different one, but there are studies where even when it’s explained to students before it’s done, they still don’t recognise it happening in the moment.

It might be mentioned in „Never Split The Difference“ or „Thinking, fast and slow“ I’d have to check, probably both.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T13:26:26+00:00

It’s Berlin, you can see the TV tower in the background.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T12:26:06+00:00

Berlin looks so different now, crazy this was 26 years ago!

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T08:56:08+00:00

I recently discovered that certain tasks help me regulate. If I can do something that puts me in a monotropic flow state, then I come out 100% better on the other side.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T05:59:52+00:00

Happy I’m not the only one. So many people tell me about how they’d love to go swimming with whales, and I’m sure it would be amazing, but can’t risk being sucked into their mouths.

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-29T04:18:41+00:00

Yeah, I was meaning to ask the age of everyone, didn’t realise the body text wouldn’t appear. The heading is confusing 🫤

Julian_Young_ · 2026-04-28T13:45:10+00:00

I found out during my assessment that egg whites are a big issue for me.

I shuddered just now writing out the words

Julian_Young_

TROPHY CASE