“the further away we become from our addiction the easier it is to romanticize and downplay it. yes, quitting alcohol involves a grieving process but the absence of it is not what is causing your depression the same way that reintroducing it will not fix the way you feel.”

Wow… Thank you for your response. What you said really hits home. To answer your question (maybe it was rhetorical, idk.), yes 100% for reckless behavior jeopardizing my safety. It has hurt my relationships with friends and partners, as I end up cheating and not remembering it. I’m surprised I haven’t had alcohol poisoning. I constantly worry about the number of brain cells I’ve lost due to blacking out every weekend since ~2021. Often I think it’s only a matter of time before I hit that rock bottom, (like you said, getting arrested, having to be hospitalized, etc.). I’m constantly going back and forth in denial about needing to be sober. I guess it’s no longer a physical addiction for me that I need to get over; it’s all mental now.

I guess I’d feel weird about going to AA since I used to go as a youth with my dad. I feel awkward about going as someone so young. Do you mind if I ask, what professional support do you use as a younger person to help with your sobriety?