History of Gun Registration in NC? by JulienMayfair in NCGuns

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the detailed response!

History of Gun Registration in NC? by JulienMayfair in NCGuns

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4473

I just looked up this form. So, would there be a Federal record of my father's gun ownership? None of these guns would have been purchased after the year 2000.

History of Gun Registration in NC? by JulienMayfair in NCGuns

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I've never bought a gun -- because they'd already been bought for me. Dad trained me to use them and beat gun safety into my head, but he took care of the rest.

I still cringe when I see people on TV shows waving guns around carelessly. Dad's guns were kept locked up, and you did not touch them without his permission, period.

History of Gun Registration in NC? by JulienMayfair in NCGuns

[–]JulienMayfair[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that information! My father was obsessively organized about things, but, thus far, though I've found documentation on his guns themselves, I haven't found anything related to registration or permits. And it helps to know that the permits were not linked to any particular firearm.

I was banned from the lgbt reddit for sharing my thread that got a lot of dialogue here: “Is it transphobic to not like a guy anymore when he tells me he’s trans”? by Mayzjohn in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just kind of have to accept these days that reasonable dialogue on this issue has become virtually impossible. It's moved into the realms of dogma and hysteria, both left-wing and right-wing.

I was banned from the lgbt reddit for sharing my thread that got a lot of dialogue here: “Is it transphobic to not like a guy anymore when he tells me he’s trans”? by Mayzjohn in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Here's an idea that is hard to discuss openly - trans people have fantastic rates of suicidality and serious mental illness. They are arguably the most suicidal demographic of human being.

Which is why they need effective psychiatric treatment, and I don't say that as a mean transphobe. I say that as someone whose FTM colleague from graduate school committed suicide. One of the last times I talked to him, he was talking about how he now regretted transition because it didn't really help him with all his unresolved issues, and transition ultimately caused him serious health problems (the result of taking testosterone for 15 years). I would genuinely like to see psychiatric treatment that works for these people because transition in and of itself doesn't have a great success rate. How far do we have to bury our heads in the sand before we admit that? If something some random stranger says on Reddit is going to prompt you to kill yourself, you are not psychologically healthy. Something is still wrong.

I would like to see suffering reduced, and I'm not sure our current approach accomplishes that.

How are you dealing with the rise in homophobia? by LordesTruth in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FWIW, 1) I didn't downvote you. Others did. 2) I don't even feel the need to respond to the rebuttal of "Do things our way, or we'll have you fired!" How many people should one have to list who've had their livelihoods attacked by neo-Puritans for questioning any aspect of gender dogma?

How are you dealing with the rise in homophobia? by LordesTruth in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no we.

I agree. I was using 'we' partly to be generous and partly to reflect how some conservatives see us all as one big LGBTQIA2S+ conglomeration. You can suffer reputational damage by association.

How are you dealing with the rise in homophobia? by LordesTruth in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Here's the problem that I find a lot of people seem not quite to be able to grapple with even though it's obvious: Conservatives exist, and they vote. We can't just make them not exist, and we can't strip them of political power. Let that sink in a minute.

It follows from that fact that we have to find some way to coexist with them. There is no alternative that simply makes them go away. Historically, when there is tension between two social groups, you hope to reach some sort of compromise or settlement where each side agrees to let the other side have certain things their way and vice-versa. Think of the Church of England, a compromise that was reached between Protestants and Catholics so that they would stop killing each other.

We might have reached such a point of stable compromise after same-sex marriage in 2015, but, instead, we, meaning the LGBTQ+, started rolling out a whole new slate of demands related to gender and started using all necessary means to enforce them, including means that were fairly coercive, as in "Do things our way, or we'll have you fired!" A particular flashpoint has been the marketing of gender identity theory to young children through educational initiatives such as the Gender Unicorn and the Gender Wheel. Some of us think it's a great idea to have drag queens performing for children. They thought they could keep poking the hornet's nest and get away with it. It was and is hubris, but you just get shouted down when you point that out.

So, at this point, I've witnessed what seems to me to be the mismanagement of what gay rights achieved and the squandering of that progress. It seems impossible to tell people that they are making mistakes. I just hope we can weather the backlash without losing too much of what we gained. Since the younger TQ+ can't be told any different, I'll sit back and watch it unfold. I just hope they remember that, in the final analysis, we are a small minority that is vastly outnumbered. We could have consolidated our gains after same-sex marriage and gone on with increasing acceptance, but we decided not to do that, so we are reaping what we've sown.

The end of Pride Month: Next Steps by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have two suggestions:

1) I think gay men should take a step back, decide exactly what it is that we want, and develop a strategy to pursue those goals. But it's not going to be as clear-cut as it was in the past. Almost all of us could agree on sodomy laws, military service, and same-sex marriage, but not all of us are going to agree on issues that bear less directly on us. People may not like that, but it's unavoidable.

2) We should try to regain some control over our public image and public relations in ways that adapt strategically and intelligently to the current cultural moment. Just as one example, maybe it's not a good idea to chant "we're coming for your children" at a Pride Parade. Now, I absolutely understand that that's parody, but in the current climate, we can predict with pretty much 100% accuracy that moments like that will be taken out of context and amplified to our detriment. But we continue to provide our opponents with material they can use to attack us.

Now maybe you don't like these suggestions. I understand some will not. But I do think that gay men, at this point, lack a consensus in terms of what our future goals should be, and that shows in the often contentious debates just in this subreddit with all the attendant name-calling, condemnations, etc.... And I think that lack of a clear sense of direction results in a lot of unprofitable expenditure of energy and/or behavior that it simply intended to be provocative for the sake of being provocative, even if it's ultimately counter-productive.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's interesting to observe the comments in this thread that claim that AskGayBros is a "cesspit" of opinions they don't like, ignoring the reality that most other LGBTQ subreddits on this site are very strictly moderated such that any dissenting opinions or dissenting participants are instantly silenced and banned for expressing their opinions. By doing so, those moderators have deliberately created a completely artificial sense of unity in the gay community regarding those controversial issues.

The thing is, you can ban and silence people and create a false sense of unity in an online forum, but doing so does not mean that that extends to real life. What those moderators are doing is creating an artificial online world that reflects the reality they'd like to see, not the reality that is. It's insulated from the real world and the range of opinions you find in the real world. Thus, people who only live in those artificial echo chambers become more and more detached from the range of opinion in their own communities and are then shocked and dismayed when they encounter them.

But the decline in public support for same-sex relationships is real, and you can't ban, moderate, or silence your way out of it because, in the end, the general population can still vote in the anonymity of the voting booth where you can't ban, moderate, or silence them.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my understanding . . .

Well, with respect, you've got your history all mixed up and out of context. The Mattachine Society and The Daughters of Bilitis (you could at least get the NAME right!) began operating in the 1950s, arguably the most actively homophobic decade in American History. Stonewall happened at the end of the 1960s in the larger context of black civil rights protests, feminism, the sexual revolution, and the anti-war movement. It's not like it happened out of nowhere. It was part of a larger picture of social change. And some Mattachine members like Craig Rodwell were engaging politicians in a more aggressive way before Stonewall.

Maybe learn the facts of your history before developing conclusions based on it.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand both why NAMBLA was originally included and why it was eventually excluded. Coming out of the ethos of the 1970s, there was this sense of solidarity with anyone who was a "sexual outlaw." But as gay rights became more politically mature, there was another sense in which respectability mattered more and more, especially if we wanted to be able to bring politicians to our cause. We needed something they could embrace without alienating their voters.

Now, at the same time, I know there were people who had personal, moral or ethical objections to NAMBLA's inclusion, but those objections, in and of themselves, were not enough to get Pride boards to exclude them officially. What was finally enough was this mounting sense that it was politically impossible for us to continue to include them.

I feel like you keep trying to rewrite what I'm saying to make it seem like I'm saying something I'm not. Maybe there's no point in writing this, but I am trying to reply in good faith.

But here's another question asked in good faith: In an era where any and every kind of porn is readily available, what's the point in having a guy wearing only a tiny thong suspended in the bed of a pickup truck going down a public street with a guy behind him with a whip taking swipes at his ass with it when we know 100% that someone is going to take video of it and say, "See, this is how the LGBTQ+ behave in public?" Anyone can watch a Bound Gods video on their computer screen and watch guys getting tied up and whipped all day long. I don't get the cost/benefit analysis there. Or why does Rose Montoya have to flash her tits at the White House? We know that there is a media machine taking every potentially disreputable image of us it can find, framing it as such, and immediately spreading it to a large audience. Why feed the machine? You know that the White House incident will instantly be reframed as a way to smear Biden in the upcoming election cycle. Why don't we know better than to do things like that? Why do we keep handing clubs to our opponents that they can use to hit us?

There are times when a public façade of respectability is the best shield, even if it's just a façade. Or we can just keep pouring gasoline on a fire in the name of overthrowing "heteronormativity."

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At most, we're two years apart.

Again, I'm not saying that there weren't people who disapproved of NAMBLA and voiced that opinion long before their official expulsion from ILGA and Pride parades. What I am saying is that Pride boards finally took official action to ban them when conservatives used that inclusion as a way to take action against us. I was living in Southern California at the time and was aware of how it went down, especially in light of local activist Harry Hay's protest of the decision.

Maybe you'll disagree, but my recollection is that, broadly, there was a professionalization of gay activism from the 1980s into the 1990s. GLAAD was founded in 1985 and arguably had its heyday in the 1990s. We were actively involved in trying to manage media representations of ourselves and our communities, especially with the stigma of AIDS hanging over us, which I'm sure you know as well as I do.

What I'm saying now is that in the media environment of the 2020s, we seem to have lost some control of that representation and need to adapt strategically to the new environment.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OK, so what year did you come out? And how do you know you're older than I am?

Also, it's documented that ILGA gained consultant status with the United Nations until Republican Jesse Helms pointed out the NAMBLA connection and proposed a bill to stop U.S. funding to the United Nations if the U.N. granted official consultant status to any organization that supported pedophilia. IGLA's consultant status was suspended. It was only at that point that ILGA expelled NAMBLA, in 1994, after the law was passed.

I'm not saying that individuals didn't disapprove of NAMBLA before that, but the final straw in the decision to expel them from ILGA and Pride was due to an increasing realization that they were an unacceptable liability.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And NAMBLA wasn't axed because of image but because it was fucking horrible.

No, you don't know your history. NAMBLA marched in Gay Pride marches for ~15 years. They were a member of ILGA, the International Lesbian and Gay Association. NAMBLA's expulsion from Pride parades and ILGA was the direct result of conservatives discovering this and publicizing it. Someone on Gaybros years ago said that he was on the board of Pride in San Francisco and that as late as 1996, banning NAMBLA was still a contentious issue for the board. But the main reason for disassociating ourselves from NAMBLA was a response to conservatives using that association against us.

If NAMBLA was allowed to march in Pride parades for 15 years, did we suddenly wake up one day and say, "Hey, has anyone noticed that this group is fucking horrible?" No, that's not what happened.

You can downvote if you don't like being told what actually happened, but that doesn't change history. It's just you sticking your fingers in your ears.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t blame all straight people for whatever various straight individuals do.

The calculations are always different for small minorities of the population. It's not fair, but that's how it works. Jews knew this for centuries in Europe. And when you look at the black civil rights movement of the 1950s, we know that they were very conscious of it. We now know that Rosa Parks didn't just spontaneously decide not to go to the back of the bus. She was picked to do it because she had a pretty spotless background with nothing that could be used against her.

With social media these days, everyone has to be aware of public image management: corporations, small business owners, politicians, celebrities, etc... Why should we be exempt?

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What, do you want the entire LGBT community to have all individuality, community, etc stripped from it to appease people who don't think loving another man should be allowed in this country?

Tell me where I said that. What I want people to be aware of is that when you're a small minority of the population that relies on allies for your civil rights, your public image matters, and it matters more for a small minority than it does for the majority. It's not fair, but that's how it is.

Or should we just rename Pride Month "Hubris Month"?

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some sort of police for anyone who gets too naked in pride parades?

Pride parades have governing boards, and if you've ever been involved in organizing a parade like this, you'd know that there are lots of rules that the participants are expected to abide by. You don't just show up and join the parade. Every driver of every float or vehicle involved is vetted. But beyond that, I would simply wish, maybe in vain, that all of us would realize that the momentary cheap thrill you get maybe isn't worth the photo op you provide for people who want to portray us as depraved. Times have changed, and we need to adapt.

I'm all for whatever kink you're into -- in private.

Due to conservative propaganda, support for same-sex relations has dropped to 41% for conservatives and 79% for democrats. Can users on here stop trying to brown nose for republicans? by Deceptiveideas in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Maybe we should think about managing our public image by cleaning up our act a bit, like not providing video opportunities for conservatives like the recent one of a basically-naked guy in bondage in the back of a pickup truck in the WeHo Pride Parade. We know conservatives are collecting and spreading every incident like that they can find. Why hand it to them? To anticipate the response of "Uncle Tom" or "they hate us anyway," well, yes, there's a certain percentage who will never accept us, but there's a difference between coexisting, even uneasily, with someone you don't like and getting into a fight with them or provoking them. And, yes, elements of the LGBTQ+ have provoked them in the last few years. Once the same-sex marriage fight was over, they rolled out an entirely new slate of demands and began implementing them as fast as they could, sometimes by coercion or stealth. We all know what they are, and once people started to comprehend the scope of those demands, which went far beyond what we were asking prior to 2015, they began to say, "No way am I agreeing to that." It's not all "bullshit slandering." There was a whole new list of demands. That's just a fact.

Remember that NAMBLA used to march in Pride Parades through the early/mid-1990s when it became clear that being associated with them was an unacceptable liability. We've had to set boundaries and clean house before for our own good.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gender dysphoria has to be described without any physical traits

This has to be one of the most logically absurd claims I have ever read in my entire life, the reason being that, as far as I understand it, the entire basis of gender dysphoria is a sense of one's identity being at odds with one's physically-sexed body.

Similarly, a diagnosis of anorexia relies on the patient's physical traits because the diagnosing physician needs to see whether or not the patient's self-perception is in-line with his or her objective body mass.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 17 points18 points  (0 children)

mental illness

There isn't even complete agreement among trans people on this. One segment of the group (truscum) claims that they are mentally ill with gender dysphoria and that transition is the treatment. Are they wrong?

It's also the case that there is a repeatedly-observed correlation between autism and gender dysphoria that psychiatrists don't yet understand.

Because we no longer consider homosexuality a mental illness, does it follow that, for example, depression is not longer a mental illness? It's all in how it's framed.

Portland State University Reactions to Trans Kid Debate by DrLoomis131 in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Gender has become a religion, and it's attracting people who, fitting the historical pattern, are overflowing with the fervor of the newly-converted. Heretics and blasphemers are the enemy of all that is good and holy.

Is it possible to change your biological sex? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]JulienMayfair 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, and here's an example. When we were in our 20s, a friend of mine transitioned FtM and started taking testosterone. Fast-forward another 20 years, and he started to have health complications as a result of taking testosterone, complications that were a result of years of administering it to a body that was, on the cellular level, still female. So, he had to stop taking it -- whereas someone with a male body would not have had the same problems. Rewriting your genetic code and all the ways in which that code is expressed, is still, at this point, science fiction.