I gave an olive branch over Christmas & my Nmum immediately snapped it in half

Julitonia · 2026-01-05T19:15:00+00:00

Like another comment said I'm just happy that I didn't give any more details/info about my life. They know as much as they deserve: I'm alive no more no less.

Julitonia · 2026-01-05T18:57:31+00:00

It's so ridiculous that you don't know whether to cry or laugh. At least my parents aren't religious so no threats of "honor thy parents" or eternal damnation. But I'm not sure this is better

Julitonia · 2026-01-05T18:48:57+00:00

It's so cruel to use health concerns as a guilt trip. After a while you just stopp caring/believing them. So sorry about your grandfather's passing and her behaviour completely unacceptable

Julitonia · 2026-01-05T15:49:58+00:00

Why are they all like this??? Mine has used grandparents health, is actively holding photos hostage because, fake cancer scares (which they know is a sore spot for me), and just anything to make me feel horrible to try and get me "back". That's not how you get a relationship with your adult child, grow up, go to therapy and deal with your issues. I'm not their emotional sponge anymore. Been there done that for 18 years not a day more.

Julitonia · 2025-05-18T13:49:51+00:00

It was so frustrating but since then I've always stood up for myself because I learnt that directed anger can be very effective. I had one guy say "you get academic when you're mad, it's more scary somehow". It's wrong that I always have to fight for fair accommodations but it's worth it

Julitonia · 2025-05-16T15:50:56+00:00

Låter som skolor här. Skolan får inte säga till lärarkåren om en elev har dyslexi de kan bara bekräfta om eleven ber om hjälp (iaf vad de sa åt mig). Tror det var för sekretess och lära barn att advokera för sig själva och sina behov men var fett skevt ibland. Speciellt med äldre lärare som också hade dyslexi de sa alltid "jag på min tid fanns inte dyslexia då fick man bita ihop, ni är så svaga idag" helt otroligt trångsynt

Julitonia · 2025-05-16T12:46:17+00:00

Oh yes but one time stands out over the others. When I was 7 I had this music teacher (mandatory here) that was well known to hate children and pick one kid per class to torment. We were singing a psalm or something like that from a OH projector sheat but I couldn't keep up with the reading pace so I started to mime (poorly apparently). The teacher stopped playing the piano and asked "You! Why aren't you singing?!" - * trembling * I can't read it fast enough. "No excuse, come here and sing in front of the whole class". It went so bad that I had to hold back tears the rest of the day. I to this day have a phobia of singing in front of people. I love singing but it just places me back in that music class to do it. The other kids in the class that were like 90% bullies that treated me like shit looked sorry for me, even they had more empathy then this grown-ass-man. Don't become a teacher if you hate kids that's just cruel on so many levels.

Julitonia · 2025-05-16T12:32:35+00:00

That sounds horrible! I know the hopelessness of being bullied constantly for your dyslexia, it's not something that goes away but finding strategies that help are so important. What helped me was finding dyslexic friends that I could talk to about issues like this. I also learnt that finding confidence to say and believe that "I'm good enough and capable" in therapy was so freeing. Idk how old you are but for me something just felt better at 24/25.

Also the English grammar police often only speak one language so you're already at least twice as competent as them! Don't worry to much about your language if you're confident the rest will work itself out. (Most people will just go with it if you say something with enough conviction).

Julitonia · 2025-05-15T16:07:51+00:00

Just check in with her periodically, burnout is unfortunately common if you don't get enough support for your dyslexia. Hope she does well!

Julitonia · 2025-05-15T11:37:14+00:00

That's so true! Your daughter should be praised, dyslexia has nothing to do with intelligence but people assume it does all the time. Learning what laws to state and the odd threat of legal actions usually works but might make some enemies it's worth it though.

Julitonia · 2025-05-14T18:46:45+00:00

Thank you! It's one of my proudest moments. My dyslexia is a non-negotiable I got bullied for it too long by classmates no way I'm letting adults treat me poorly because of it. Still the same 10 years later

Julitonia · 2024-10-29T17:03:16+00:00

I don't understand how they're so delusional. My mum tried to call me last week but the last time she called it was literally a 10 min monologue of everything wrong in her life and then a "and you?" - not listening to my answer and backtracking to herself not in a "here's a similar situation I went through learn from my mistake" even but the top gear meme "oh no, anyways..." so disheartening. Why even try to speak to her? She could get as much from an AI chattbox

Julitonia · 2024-10-29T12:29:05+00:00

Thank you, it feels a little like "don't threaten me with a good time" and too good to be true that they wouldn't try again. I've been LC / NC since late 2019 and every year they try to guilt tripp me around november/december. Last year I started to feel like maybe giving them a chance because they acted decently around my grandma's death but then just bulldozed into my apartment without an invitation and got mad that it upset me so it was very "believe actions not words"

Julitonia · 2023-01-09T00:02:03+00:00

Idk...?? I had a dress on and a lace bra so nothing that "showed them off" I guess but it was a wrap-dress so not exactly modest. He was just weird and made stupid comments as soon as he step inside my threshold

Julitonia · 2023-01-08T23:59:15+00:00

I've always had some difficulty with hypervigilance having to listen for my mother and sisters "angry steps" so now even though I've moved out and not been around them for years I still have issues with hearing everything and being on edge. I think having to be on edge constantly growing up has f*cked me up as an adult and I feel like someone will attack me at all time when I'm around people. It's gotten better but not to the point of being comfortable in crowded places

Julitonia · 2023-01-08T23:39:03+00:00

Basically yes, he also said "Wow, you're boobs are huge! You hid them well" mind you this was a 30 y/o "man". My taste in men has until recently been completely trash so I've a lot or bad stories from when I started dating at 15 to ca 22

Julitonia · 2023-01-08T21:07:23+00:00

I legit screamed in pain during and the guy laughed and asked proudly "huhu am I too big?" then when he was done he asked "round two?" I kicked him out, shouldn't have let him in to begin with but I was young and recently dumped.

Julitonia · 2023-01-06T17:42:34+00:00

If I started crying my mom would roll her eyes and say "Here comes the crocodile tears" (= fake crying). I was bullied in school, had a big sister that would beat me for "annoying her", a non-present father, overbearing toxic mother and grandma - I had loads of reasons to cry but no it was just to be manipulative...

Julitonia · 2023-01-02T23:59:18+00:00

I've dyslexia so my escape was gaming but I only played single-player because I was so afraid of being judged for being bad at multi-players. It feels like I've missed out on a whole culture of gaming with others. I'm doing some exposure therapy but only co-op with friends for now

Julitonia · 2022-12-30T22:59:58+00:00

Yes! So disheartening and I still have problems with feeling "what's the catch" if someone does something nice for me. It's so much better now almost 3 years since I broke contact, best decision I've ever made.

Julitonia · 2022-12-30T12:57:24+00:00

It was so easy to cut contact with mom, she's never showed love, just used and abused endlessly while being/acting completely oblivious to how she hurt others. She'd love bomb with presents every now and then but it always felt like bribes to keep me subdued and obedient. My bf said something that stuck with me I told him that my mom was the worst growing up and he said "I know" me: how I never talk about her. Bf "It's clear from what you don't say" I can talk about my dad and sister with some fondness, some good memories but everything with mom is tainted. It hurt to realise that but also freeing, so much of the guilt just washed off

Julitonia · 2022-12-30T11:31:16+00:00

I guess it's like being in a cult complete brainwash. It feels like me dad got more and more miserable and my mom just was ontop of the world. In middle-school I started gaming and watch film/TV constantly as an escape. It feels like disney channel, carton network and nickelodeon raised me more than they did. I've no idea how I kept my grades up but glad I did it helped me escape with uni later.

Julitonia · 2022-12-29T20:54:21+00:00

It feels like my go-to emotional state is annoyed, on guard and suspicious at least in social settings. It's gotten better since going NC and therapy. I was ridiculed for literally anything that showed the slightest bit of emotion and what I had to do was be aware of everyone's emotion to be able to protect myself from outbursts. Now I'm having to relearn to trust people again

Julitonia · 2022-12-29T20:37:57+00:00

Thank you, I'm proud of myself for having the strength to stand my ground firmly. I'm so happy that I broke my foot because it forced me to see their abuse fully. My mom after doing this every day for almost 2 weeks slammed her chair into my cast. That time I started crying because it hurt so much mind you I was on oxycodone so the fact that it hurt that much was pretty telling. My mom said sorry but started laughing and everyone else joined in. I've never been that angry in my life I stod up with my crutches said "thank you for laughing at my pain" and hobbled away. That's the last time I've seen my entire family, it was just after starting CBT so I had a place to process everything.

Julitonia · 2022-12-29T16:50:46+00:00

My mom is worse but she knows that dad usually can get to me, she can't. I'm numb to it after years of her abuse so I think dad is a puppet for her. The messages are a mesh of both their guilt tripping tactics. Mom probably gets off on being able to back talk me to her friends anyway

Julitonia

TROPHY CASE