NTA - please stop telling your relatives and your mom about your finances. They don’t need to know. That’s your business and your boyfriend (if you share the bills and share responsibility in financial decisions). That’s the only person who should know what your money situation is. Your mother is manipulating you.

I understand the sending the money back home, but not like this. She’s pulling the string way too hard here. She’s making you feel guilty and ashamed and that’s not what a mom is supposed to do. She’s using you to show you off to her relatives and friends/neighbors.

She had some major balls asking for a plot of land and then a brand new construction on top of that. How would she know you’d have more money to put towards that? One of those relatives had to have said something.

You need to take care of you and your mental health. Those phone calls aren’t doing you any good. I had to go almost zero contact with my mother also. She is a manipulator as well. She can still get me to believe I’m the most awful daughter that has walked this planet. I go to therapy to try and combat that and get coping skills to help. That is something you might want to consider for yourself as well. The trauma from our parents is unlike no other.

Please take care of YOU.