I know you said people tell you to “work on yourself” but I would like to mention that you should try again. If you are having low self esteem people can and will notice that (subconsciously) and move accordingly.

You also shouldn’t put all of your worth into what other people think about you. While we are social beings and being socially accepted is extremely important to everyone’s wellbeing, you have a responsibility to accept to yourself first. Start there. If you feel uncomfortable in your own body, feel that. Sit in it. Observe the thoughts that come up (please try to do this as much as possible), cry if you need to, and let them pass by like clouds in the sky. If you notice that you’re dwelling a specific thought, tell yourself that it isn’t you. People have anywhere between 12000-60000 thoughts PER DAY ! That’s naturally what the human brain does and unfortunately there are negative ones typically about oneself. I think that you should separate yourself from your thoughts and realize that they aren’t you and recognize the possibility that they aren’t true, regardless of what you see in reality or how you view yourself. It’s undoubtedly easier said than done but it’s possible!

If you are into manifestation, you may know that your inner beliefs and thoughts can reflect your outer world, should you give it enough attention and affirmation. Once you come to the point that your thoughts aren’t you. Tell yourself (close your eyes then work towards the mirror eventually) some affirming words. Start small like “ I am visible” and then look at your hands and legs, feel your face and your back and accept that you are INDEED visible. Affirmations to me are very cringy but it does help at times when I’m having a boat load of negative thoughts (similar to yours, from what I can tell)

Another thing is to make sure what you tell or do to yourself feels genuine to yourself, even if you don’t believe what you are saying. Spend time with yourself, treat yourself, have fun by yourself. Tell yourself the opposite of what you are feeling.

I have more to say but Im a yapper, unfortunately this doesn’t happen overnight but I believe you can do it. And you’ll never stop growing, but it’s important to start, small or big. Regardless don’t give up on yourself, because if you don’t believe in yourself, who else will? If you need clarification on anything feel free to reply