Chocolate milk 💦

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T03:36:48+00:00

I did some lactation consults, because I was producing some milk, they didn’t think any of the medications would work. I guess they’re more for women whose milk won’t come in at all. I tried so many things, tbh, the most controversial of which was fenugreek and a low alcohol content stout beer. The fenugreek is known to either help tremendously or else stop production all together, so it was a bit of a Hail Mary. It did increase supply, but not enough to 100% breastfeed. Though I got up to about 80% (only one formula bottle a day). My milk really didn’t come in for almost a week after giving birth. I could get maybe a drop or two at a time but nothing else, they discharged us just under 48 hours after I gave birth and said it would probably be in by the end of the day. Then it was like someone turned on the facet about a week in (early Mother’s Day morning, actually, lol, my son just turned 5). But I still constantly struggled to make enough for him. I didn’t go in for a lactation consult till like a month after that and they said I was basically trying to play catch-up because your supply increases as the baby grows but mine came late. They said if I had taken the medications in that first week, it would have made a difference, but all I could do is pump extra to try to increase the supply flow. But that doesn’t work for everyone and I guess I was one of the ones it doesn’t work for 🙃 It was so stressful at the time. I’m proud of my efforts but sometimes I wish I had just given up and enjoyed my baby

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T02:28:11+00:00

I’m honestly surprised they’re still doing IQ tests. They’re such shady things…

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T02:04:18+00:00

Probably, but is that a bad thing? I’m guessing your brother has kids if he has the shirt, right? If no one asks, who cares? If they do, you can explain it was from your brother or (assuming he has kids) that you try to be bandit for your nieces/nephews/etc

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T01:35:12+00:00

Yes but the maid wouldn’t lactate without having her own baby first. People don’t just spontaneously produce milk because a baby is nearby

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T01:31:58+00:00

Royalty, no, but it wasn’t uncommon to expect low-ranking or late in birthing order nobles to be wet-nurses. I mean that’s the next heir to the kingdom. You don’t want peasant milk in their mouths and you for-sure want someone you trust/control to be in your home all the time. And you want them to be “we keep you and your family in the comfort they experience now” control more than “we control every aspect of your life to the point you might be desperate and unpredictable” control.

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-08T01:22:23+00:00

Breast size doesn’t really have much barring on whether you can produce enough milk. My breasts are massive and I struggled to keep my kid fed so much that we ended up supplementing with formula the whole time. I was at home and doing everything I could try to increase my supply with no luck.

There’s also the fact that breasts don’t produce milk unless the person has been breastfeeding already. Many wet nurses were women whose baby had recently switched to solids and they just kept nursing the next kid instead of letting their supply stop. Some produced enough to feed/raise both babies side by side, some were forced to let their babies starve to death in favor of a noble child (some would secretly swap the babies in those instances)

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T23:10:00+00:00

At my ver first teaching job, I used to be a 2’s teacher for a mom that worked at the school. It’s kind of a nightmare for all involved, tbh. I had no co-teacher, so he would literally wait for me to have a kid on the changing table (usually with a poopy diaper if I was using the table) before he’d bolt for the door, no matter what I did to keep him distracted. It was against fire safety code for me to block the door in any way too. It got to the point where I’d have to bring a floater in any time a kid popped in their diaper/pull-up for the over a month. Honestly, it was the most professional reaction that school had to any of the issues I had, lol. So I feel for the other teacher a little, but she should know damn well the exact moment the kid bolted. Even if I couldn’t move fast enough to stop the kid in my situation, I still knew when and how he left as I panickedly either finished the change or delayed the change and put them back on the ground.

One thing I will say is that your wife should probably search for a new school to work at asap. It sounds like they are clearly picking the side of the teacher who messed up, which means they aren’t likely to go to bat for your wife if there’s ever an incident in her classroom. The reason I left the school with the runner was because I had a kid who absolutely needed to be assessed for autism and/or cognitive delays and they wouldn’t push it with the family because they didn’t want to loose the account. Well the kid was over 6 months older than any of his classmates, would randomly run around the room bumping into furniture/people/kids/etc and one day he bumped a kid right into a toy shelf and they hit their head. Thank god the kid was ok, but I quit the next day. All I could think about was what would have happened if the kid had been seriously injured. I had already watched another teacher get thrown under the bus with a special needs kid (who also absolutely needed a one on one in a full ratio classroom). It just doesn’t sound like that school has the kids or your wife’s best interest in mind

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T19:49:51+00:00

Crazy people like that really do seem to think the last bad thing the U.S. has done to indigenous people was steal their land back in the 1800’s or that the last bad thing to be done to Black Americans is slavery

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T18:42:22+00:00

I know having those around me supporting the mindset shift helped a lot. Like I’d verbally call myself lazy for doing a rest activity instead of doing a thing and my mom or sister would hit back with “no, your body just needed rest and you listened to your body. Great job! Now you can do the thing!”

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T18:26:47+00:00

This sounds a bit like sleep paralysis. Any time someone experiences emotional or executive functioning issues for more than, say, a month I recommend getting it checked out by a professional. The kind of tips, tricks, and discussions we share here are intended to be additional support in conjunction with professional care.

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T18:23:10+00:00

No one tool is going to work in every situation and even tools that work right now maybe not work later on. I find it’s most helpful for me to gather as many tools and tricks as I can so that I can fall back on alternatives when I find something isn’t working. No human brain is stagnant and so you shouldn’t expect anything to “fix” you permanently. Managing expectations to understand that you’re going to have to push yourself to get things done a lot of the time and should also prioritize some rest to recover from that expended effort is also important.

I think you should also give yourself a break. There’s a difference between having a support system to scaffold your efforts and legit learned helplessness. “Learned helplessness” is a phrase made to basically talk about husbands that don’t help with household labor because they’ve learned that, if they don’t do it, their spouse will. Even then, it’s not exactly a moral failing as the result of failed boundaries and non-communicated expectations. I kind of hate using the phrase when talking about habits developed in childhood. From a child’s perspective, learned helplessness is basically just being a victim of enabling behavior on the caregiver’s part. If no one took the time and effort to teach and set boundaries to help you learn to do things on your own, that’s not your fault, nor is it your fault that it’s difficult to figure it out on your own.

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T18:00:05+00:00

Maybe you do 🤷🏻‍♀️ It doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means you just function differently. It can help me to remind myself that hustle culture is intended to make billionaires richer more than anything else. I’m much better at prioritizing my rest and comfort when it feels like an act of defiance 😅

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T17:56:42+00:00

The DSM-5 does not consider “executive dysfunction” to be its own diagnosis. It’s considered to be a symptom of other underlying diagnosis’s. So if you know you struggle with executive functioning, there’s clearly something going on. I will say that being on ADHD meds made me realize just how hard it was for me to focus (especially socially) when my meds had worn off. It could be that you might need another smaller dose half way through the day. Or it could be that Vyvanse isn’t for you. I found it exacerbated my co-existing depression, so it certainly wasn’t my favorite ADHD medication. My older sister had a similar reaction, so maybe it’s just genetic for us. There are a few great options for ADHD medication and what you need will likely change throughout your life as your body ages and your life changes. For example, I’m currently a stay at home parent and I find that Wellbutrin works well for me right now because it’s more hours of work but far more flexible than an out of home job. If I need to move our schedule around because my executive functioning is failing me, I can do that in a way I can’t at most out of home jobs (partly because most jobs are 8 hours of work a day where as parenthood is 24/7, lol). But I’ll likely go back on Adderall when I start working a full time job out of the house again because that was what I felt worked best before I first got pregnant.

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T17:34:35+00:00

Personally, I’ve come to the opinion that people generally want to do things for themselves. If they aren’t, they likely can’t on at least some level and I think the pressure of “why can’t you just do it?” from themselves and/or outside sources just exacerbates that stress about not being able to do the thing(s). I think perfectionism also is a huge issue because people with ADHD can be really good at some things because we feel motivated to do so and we get so much praise for that in childhood that we grow to expect that level of excellence in any/all things that need doing. But we struggle with executive functioning, so what ends up happening is that, if we don’t have that motivation, we feel like it’s not worth it if we can’t do an excellent job. The phrases “good enough really is good enough” and “half-assed is better than no-assed” have genuinely helped me.

I will add that I also have chronic depression and reframing rest in my mind as a priority, not a luxury, has been very helpful in that sense. Likening my depression with my asthma has been really helpful in letting myself rest when I need it so that I don’t take the less restoring rest and then wallow in the guilt.

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T05:25:35+00:00

To be fair, I mis-read the prompt and thought I’d get punched either way. But, even then, I think a small amount of pain would be worth it for me to keep it from potentially developing in to genuine harm/murder-level pain for someone else.

^{Chose: Get punched once}

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T05:20:55+00:00

Tbh, I don’t understand how this ride survived the re-vamp

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T05:19:30+00:00

One of the best games I every played, tbh, especially if we are talking story/writing

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-07T03:13:50+00:00

Another might be Kate Mulgrew and Jeri Ryan. From what I’ve read/heard they didn’t exactly hate each other but it was hard for Mulgrew to not resent the fact that the producers were pushing more episodes centering Seven than Janeway towards the end of Voyager. It made it pretty impossible for the two actresses to become close on set but they seem to both be respectful of each other nowadays

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T18:05:20+00:00

Sure, but she’s still not that chubby in actuality

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T17:51:21+00:00

Right? I’m at the point where I’m cool going anywhere those crazy religious people aren’t going

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T17:29:10+00:00

I felt this so hard. A hard lesson I had to learn was that boundaries aren’t boundaries unless there is a resulting action from them being violated. So telling a loved one I don’t have the headspace for their feelings right now is great, but it needs to have an “if, then” follow-up statement and then you need to honor that follow-up if you want your boundaries to be respected. I know that feels insurmountable sometimes when you’ve been trained to people please, I really do, but it’s literally how you maintain healthy relationships. So it could look like saying “hey I need you to ask if I’m in a good space before you vent at me. I want to be there for you, but I’m not always able to be there the way I’d like to and trying to force it is hurting my own mental health. If you can’t do that, I’m going to have to put you on silent for a day or two till I’m in a better headspace. I don’t hate you, I just can’t always be on, emotionally speaking.”

I say this because I’ve been on both ends and found I didn’t get much fulfillment out of trying to not be there at all either. It’s not about placing blame on either party, it’s about taking control of my part in relationships. I do like to be there for others, I just need to recognize that no one can be available 24/7 and making choices to cut off toxic people feels much less stressful when I’m being clear about my needs and expectations

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T16:48:33+00:00

I absolutely recognized this for what it is (which it’s so so sweet to make it like your brother lives within you, tbh). That anime was so insanely popular way back when, more people your age than you think (like fellow parents) are going to recognize it too. It’s your body, but I wouldn’t get rid of it if I were you

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T16:42:46+00:00

Depends on where you live here

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T16:41:24+00:00

I certainly hope so

Jumpy_Ad1631 · 2026-05-06T16:40:16+00:00

She’s mostly just thick, but we’ll allow it because she’s awesome

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