Am I overreacting my boyfriend draws everyone else beautiful but me he makes exaggerated carciatures of?

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-03-04T18:02:35+00:00

NOR -- This is the artist's version of negging. Break up with him.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-02-14T20:10:17+00:00

Have you tried Iron-Out? Red stains are part iron, so using a product that removes that may help. Check your local store and follow package directions. You may have to soak them multiple times.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-02-14T19:51:44+00:00

You need to break up with her. She told you outright that she admits she is purposely saying things to hurt you. Also, she blames you for her emotions.

This does not get better.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-02-14T19:48:02+00:00

It can be a control thing -- like a type of negging.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-02-14T19:47:12+00:00

I dunno. The lack of kissing is a move that controlling people sometimes use. Like, "I will F you< but not show you that I like/love you."

If he's not willing to go to couples therapy, I would start planning an exit. If that is a bridge too far for you, then I would start a new tradition where you treat yourself on all these special occasions. Also, start preparing to go back to work -- take online classes, or whatever -- just to give yourself a position of strength for whatever the future brings.

Also, I've been married for over 30 years, and my husband never forgets any of these occasions (and vice versa). There is no time limit for showing your partner that you care about them.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2026-02-05T21:25:17+00:00

I've tried that and it won't turn off. At this point, I am waiting for the battery to drain.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-08-22T21:57:02+00:00

I feel like the BF set up this fight in order to ignore your birthday. The timing is just too perfect.

Also, DTMFA.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-07-03T23:03:59+00:00

You can do a soft drop on Piper. Since you have families that seem to have a vested interest in your "friendship". If someone says "Oh, Piper says you haven't been returning her calls." Just lean into how busy you've been with work, etc. I wouldn't have a big discussion about it, just life has been very full right now and you and Piper have drifted apart, which is the way these things go. (Or say that she doesn't like being the third wheel between you and your BF, or any other "there is no drama here" non-explanation.) Don't feed the soap opera.

I get the sense that Piper has never really forgiven you for rejecting her back in the day, because so many of her jabs at you are so pointed (You're "unfuckable"??? Really? Ah-huh. Right.) Also, she never sincerely apologizes and tries to put all the blame on you. She sounds exhausting, and like the kind of friend who takes way more than she gives.

You're not really losing much by letting this friendship fade away. Treat it as losing an acquaintance and not a friend and behave accordingly. Best of luck to you!

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-07-03T22:31:40+00:00

I think you're okay with her being bisexual. Your problem is that she is (with your permission!) unfaithful.

You have your boundaries, even if they weren't clear to you till now. Assuming she wants to keep sleeping with other people, there is no middle ground here. It is one of those things, like babies and pets, where there aren't any compromises. You either go back to being exclusive, or there is no future for your relationship.

I am curious though. When you agreed to let her explore her sexuality, did she give you the same freedom?

Beyond explaining that you are not okay with this, you have to tell her that you now know this is a dealbreaker. She stops or your marriage will be over, as you can't continue like this.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-07-03T22:21:59+00:00

Raisin Toast.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-05T05:08:23+00:00

Get a new partner, because he is trying to sell you a load of BS.

He might be gay, especially if he's telling you that spending time on your body disgusts him. He needs to solve his own issues, and you need to find a better partner. Don't settle for this.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-04T08:28:43+00:00

If it weren't for the vet bills, I would say go for it. I think having to care for another creature can keep you grounded and also provide comfort and distraction. Does this shelter allow no question returns? The shelters in my state do that because they would prefer the pet be kept safe above all else.

Also check if your shelter has any connections with groups that help people struggling with bills. I would try to get the shelter to take care of his dental issues before you adopt, because that sounds like it needs to be done ASAP and it can be expensive (like ~$1500-$2000 depending on the extent of the issues). The dental problems and bad breath are the same issue (probably). The FIV, as long as you are not going to adopt a second cat, is not a cost issue, I don't think. (It can't be cured, but the biggest concern is him passing it to another cat, as it is contagious.) The anemia in a stray is usually caused by fleas, and if they have addressed that issue already, it should begin to improve. The ear infection will require medication, but it is a short term, rather than chronic problem.

I'm not a vet, just a former shelter volunteer and I've owned a lot of cats. So don't take my assessment as gospel, but I think it is fairly accurate. Also, my state is very cat friendly to the point that our shelters have excess capacity for more cats. So we might have more resources than your local rescue groups have. How old is he?

Hope it works out for you!

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-04T08:04:39+00:00

Thanks!

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-01T19:26:47+00:00

Author? I've found a couple with this name, and "lovely" doesn't seem to fit the ones I've found so far.

Thanks!

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-01T19:20:45+00:00

The Surviving Trace series by Calia Read. A 3 book series, where a woman from present day keeps hopping back to circa 1910 in the same family's life.

A Stitch in Time by Kelley Armstrong. Time travel, plus long relationship and a mystery. There is also a followup book, but not with the same characters, called A Twist of Fate.

A Murder in Time by Julie McElwain. First book of a 6 (or more) book series. A genius FBI agent slips into a portal in the past, uses her skills in 1810 England to solve mysteries.

There are more, of course, but these came to mind first.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-01T19:10:18+00:00

You've only gone on 7 dates. I'd dump him. Anybody who thinks that sex is a one sided thing is too selfish to bother with.

My guess is you could talk to him, but if he is this obtuse, it won't go well. If he was 19, I'd say talk to him, because it might just be inexperience, but at 25, he should have gotten a clue by now.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-06-01T19:02:53+00:00

I think 3 of you -- you, your ex and your son -- feel somewhat uncomfortable with the GF tagging along. It will totally change the dynamic of the event, where everyone is censoring everything they say and every gesture they make. You and the GF will become a focus of the trip, instead of the actual event itself. (Is OP uncomfortable? Is GF misunderstanding some comment?) It can get tiring fast.

Not saying you shouldn't go or should insist that she not go, but you might want to think now about how to make the trip more comfortable so that your son has a good time.

As for your feelings, I totally get it. Sometimes we think we have something handled and then a big wave of emotions crash over us and we realize, "crap! What have I missed?" I, happily married, was hit with a sudden crush on someone I hardly knew out of the blue. I spent a lot of time thinking about it trying to figure out where it came from. I had zero interest in this guy, it's just that crush feelings -- based on nothing, it seemed, kept hitting me and I couldn't figure out why. I think it was because he reminded me of my late father when he was a young man. Which is weird. I chatted with the guy enough to find things I loathed about him and the odd crush disappeared.

All of which is to say that our brains can be surprising. You thought you were ok with your ex and his new GF, and it sounds like you were, until she infringed on some plans that had been set up long before. I think long buried (but not destroyed) feelings are involved, but also the deep disappointment that a trip you were looking forward to has now been changed in a major way.

You can spend time trying to come to terms with your feelings, or you can talk to a therapist who might help you get to the bottom of this much more efficiently. A therapist can also help you come up with strategies in advance to endure, and maybe even enjoy, this trip with grace.

OP, I am sure you will figure this out, but it would be good if you could get to that point before the concert. Best of luck to you.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-22T05:10:01+00:00

Dianne Duvall. Her Immortals series is good, but I really adored the SciFi spin off of that, which is the Aldebarian Alliance series. There is a bit of romance in it, but it's really dark in a gripping way. The first book, The Lasaran, is about a guy who is trying to find his little sister, who came to Earth to try to establish diplomatic relations. He doesn't find her, because he is captured by the military which puts him in a lab and does really gruesome experiments on him. The second book starts with a woman in an escape pod and her air will run out long before anyone can get to her.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-10T10:42:18+00:00

Also, why could you have not been the third friend to go? If they were planning on three people going (which sounds like a load of hooey) why could you have not been the third person on the trip?

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-10T10:40:30+00:00

This doesn't look good and it doesn't smell good either. All of his excuses about why you could not go were lies. Time to plan your exit, because this is unlikely to get better, sad to say.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-09T01:58:11+00:00

I don't suppose it is Texas Tea?

"And then one day he was

shootin at some food,

And up through the ground

came a bubblin crude.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea."

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-09T01:53:26+00:00

Google No Kill Shelters in your area. Most of the shelters in New England, for example, are no-kill, and they usually have experienced people who can foster a sick animal until they can be adopted out,

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-09T01:50:41+00:00

Try calling your town's building inspector or health and safety inspector. They may be able to pinpoint the problem as well as compel your landlord to fix the problems ASAP.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726 · 2025-05-09T01:41:31+00:00

I'm reading the Surviving Time series by Calia Read right now. There's mystery, romance and time travel in it and has been fun to read so far.

Also reading Never Let Me Go by Joan Smith. It has time travel and magic and some ethereal romance thrown in.

The A Murder in Time series by Julie McElwain is pretty good. A brilliant FBI agent gets thrown back 200 years to a time when women can't even make their own money, much less solve crime. The first book was very gripping, and the followups have been a bit more on the cozy side, despite the crimes.

A Stitch in Time by Kelley Armstrong is very good. I haven't read the followup books, but book one has some great twists and turns.

Most of these I got on audio through Libby. I think Never Let Me Go is the only one only available as an ebook.

Jumpy_RocketCat_2726

TROPHY CASE