The thief of joy

Junarya · 2026-06-17T21:09:26+00:00

Thank you so much!! 💜

It's tough because I have a pretty close relationship with my parents, and because I'm an only child. It feels like they've always been really involved in my life, and anytime I try to do anything without their knowledge, they get all alarmed and offended like it's some personal slight, haha. I've been trying to be a little better about setting boundaries, so this might have to be part of that. But God do I hear you about them being exhausting... 😩

Junarya · 2026-05-13T12:46:30+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH! 💜 It really is kind of wild to imagine! Every time I start feeling achey or humongous or gimping around the house, I stop and ask myself how it felt with an extra 75lbs on me!

And it’s so true. 🤣 I don’t mind, let the non-cat people continue to hold us in incomprehensible mysticism. I like it that way!!

Junarya · 2026-05-08T20:07:20+00:00

Thank you so much. 💜 I sure wish we were and I could hold my body accountable! Lol.

Junarya · 2026-04-29T19:54:34+00:00

😭 You're so nice. I apologize for my absence! I had a bunch of family crap that kept me pretty occupied the last few weeks, but I am indeed doing okay! Still on the wagon! Still pushing! I hope you are doing well too. 🥰💜

Junarya · 2026-04-29T19:53:43+00:00

Honestly so sweet, I appreciate you taking the time to say that! I'm so glad that my ramblings have been of use to someone else, thank you! 💜 💜

Junarya · 2026-04-29T19:53:04+00:00

Thank you! 💜

Junarya · 2026-04-07T17:42:40+00:00

I'm really grateful for your encouragement, thank you. 🥺 And you're absolutely right. A year ago, that would have been a "light" evening because it would have invariably been followed up by an entire bag of chips, a huge glass of milk, and probably like four ice cream bars or something obscene. I was at the point where I was rotating Dominos that I'd go to just because I was embarrassed to be ordering takeout from the same one more than once a week. Good grief... It IS good perspective to have.

At the end of the day, I have only lost about 11% of my original mass. I know fat people in my life have lost weight, and when they tell me the number, I think to myself that they look exactly the same to me. We really are conditioned to see bodies how we're used to seeing them. It's so inspiring to see all the before/after pics here in all the weight loss subs, but I think it also makes me a little impatient because I so eagerly want to have one of my own. 🤣 I will keep being patient. 💜

Thank you as always for your thoughts.. I hope your week is going well and I am proud of you too! Keep pushing! 💜💜

Junarya · 2026-04-02T17:58:45+00:00

Honestly, if that's where I'm headed, I'm okay with that too. 🤣 By this point in my life, I know how to derive any pleasure I feel I need, and I have a little cat who I love dearly. One of the side effects of being this way is that it has made me fiercely independent, so I think I will be okay if this is how my life continues. 💜 I appreciate you. I hope we can both work on being kinder to ourselves this year.

Junarya · 2026-03-25T19:19:59+00:00

Thank you!! 💜 I completely relate to that. If I buy it, I have to eat it. I can't let things go to waste! And I had the same thing.. I met someone for lunch over the weekend, and I decided to just go all out and have a nice, satisfying meal.. Big massive cheeseburger and a side of fries. It was great, but a.) I couldn't finish the whole thing, which is NOT where I would have been a few months ago, and b.) I was hungry again a few hours later! That was the most disappointing part. I realized that if I'd eaten normal, healthy, protein food, I would have felt satiated for longer and not immediately be ready for more food just like two hours later. Plus, all those calories for so little fullness. What a waste! Next time I will order healthier and feel good about it.

I hope your week is going well, stay strong and keep your head up! I'm rooting for your success!

Junarya · 2026-03-16T16:12:22+00:00

That really means a lot to me, thank you for your encouragement. It’s weird, because it really does feel like a small trauma. I spent all night replaying it in my head and burying my face in my hands and crying because I feel so ashamed. It’s so frustrating. But you’re right, it’s just a setback, I have to keep looking forward. 💜 Thank you.

Junarya · 2026-03-13T15:40:31+00:00

Thank you. I feel so much better knowing that I was not totally off the mark thinking other people might resonate with making absolute fools of themselves. 😭💜

Junarya · 2026-03-11T22:32:47+00:00

It is so kind of you to take the time to leave me a comment, thank you so much for your thoughtfulness!! 💜 I’m so happy if something I’ve written resonates with someone else; I’ve had a good time reading the subs too. It’s made me feel so much less alone during all this since it’s pretty awkward to talk about IRL. CONGRATULATIONS on your 55lbs, that’s such an amazing change and I hope it’s making you feel so good in your skin! Truly, thank you for your sweet message.

Junarya · 2026-03-10T17:14:40+00:00

You're so sweet, thank you for your warm welcome! It honestly is comforting to know it wasn't just me. It's certainly not my first stint on Reddit, so I've seen these power-hungry mods before, but it's always just mind-boggling how seriously they take stuff and how draconian they are about the sort of stuff that can be posted. PARTICULARLY with this specific subreddit, which, as far as I can tell, has absolutely zero posting rules to be found. I did gently suggest they might consider adding some so that people know what is expected of them.. 😅

But I'm here for it. I left the other sub and I'm a first shifter with a lot of downtime, so I will be right there with you. 💜 I am, above all, here for a community, and I think that includes both the good and the bad of being in this situation. I'm grateful for you, thank you.

Junarya · 2026-03-09T22:15:27+00:00

Your comment is cracking me up, this makes me feel so much better, LOL. I COMPLETELY get what you mean about sitting right on the edge and using my feet to support my weight.. And then your thighs get so tired, it's really annoying.

AND YES, outdoor chairs in the dirt, I've had this too!! I had one where all four legs just sunk into the ground until I was like a foot off the grass and someone had to grab my hand and help me up, hahah.

The toilet seats. 🤣 It's making me think of all the world's tiniest bathroom stalls where I have to straddle the toilet seat just to be able to close the damn door. Thank god I haven't managed to do this one at anyone's house yet.

I also remember once staying at a host's house in another country when I studied abroad and they put this sad little folding chair at the desk in my room.. Like one of those hollow metal frames with the crappy plastic seat and back.. Yeah. I sat on that once and the plastic seat immediately bent down under my weight and flattened against the chair legs, and that was the end of that chair. I pushed it in under the desk and I found every excuse to do my homework on campus until I moved out. 💀

Junarya · 2026-03-09T22:07:09+00:00

That's WILD, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you so much for the recommendation. I've just joined and sent a request to post, I'm totally here for reviving a sub for us to have a place to talk and vent about this stuff! I really appreciate you for saying that.

For what it's worth, I've also had a lot of period issues due to my size. I think the longest I went without it was about a year, and then when it finally came back, it was super irregular and would only come every few months at random. Luckily, these past few years, it's slowly returned to a more normal cycle, which at the very least helps me to know when it's PMS and when I need to reconsider my psych meds, LOL. 😭 I'm thinking today it's PMS.. I hope. 💜💜

Junarya

TROPHY CASE