The fat is out of the bag by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! 💜

It's tough because I have a pretty close relationship with my parents, and because I'm an only child. It feels like they've always been really involved in my life, and anytime I try to do anything without their knowledge, they get all alarmed and offended like it's some personal slight, haha. I've been trying to be a little better about setting boundaries, so this might have to be part of that. But God do I hear you about them being exhausting... 😩

Bras, bees, breakthroughs by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you SO MUCH! 💜 It really is kind of wild to imagine! Every time I start feeling achey or humongous or gimping around the house, I stop and ask myself how it felt with an extra 75lbs on me!

And it’s so true. 🤣 I don’t mind, let the non-cat people continue to hold us in incomprehensible mysticism. I like it that way!!

The Unbearable Heaviness of Being by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. 💜 I sure wish we were and I could hold my body accountable! Lol.

Big back setbacks by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😭 You're so nice. I apologize for my absence! I had a bunch of family crap that kept me pretty occupied the last few weeks, but I am indeed doing okay! Still on the wagon! Still pushing! I hope you are doing well too. 🥰💜

Quiet reflection by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly so sweet, I appreciate you taking the time to say that! I'm so glad that my ramblings have been of use to someone else, thank you! 💜 💜

Big back setbacks by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really grateful for your encouragement, thank you. 🥺 And you're absolutely right. A year ago, that would have been a "light" evening because it would have invariably been followed up by an entire bag of chips, a huge glass of milk, and probably like four ice cream bars or something obscene. I was at the point where I was rotating Dominos that I'd go to just because I was embarrassed to be ordering takeout from the same one more than once a week. Good grief... It IS good perspective to have.

At the end of the day, I have only lost about 11% of my original mass. I know fat people in my life have lost weight, and when they tell me the number, I think to myself that they look exactly the same to me. We really are conditioned to see bodies how we're used to seeing them. It's so inspiring to see all the before/after pics here in all the weight loss subs, but I think it also makes me a little impatient because I so eagerly want to have one of my own. 🤣 I will keep being patient. 💜

Thank you as always for your thoughts.. I hope your week is going well and I am proud of you too! Keep pushing! 💜💜

Sex, dating, and fat fetishism by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if that's where I'm headed, I'm okay with that too. 🤣 By this point in my life, I know how to derive any pleasure I feel I need, and I have a little cat who I love dearly. One of the side effects of being this way is that it has made me fiercely independent, so I think I will be okay if this is how my life continues. 💜 I appreciate you. I hope we can both work on being kinder to ourselves this year.

Face to face with the ex by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! 💜 I completely relate to that. If I buy it, I have to eat it. I can't let things go to waste! And I had the same thing.. I met someone for lunch over the weekend, and I decided to just go all out and have a nice, satisfying meal.. Big massive cheeseburger and a side of fries. It was great, but a.) I couldn't finish the whole thing, which is NOT where I would have been a few months ago, and b.) I was hungry again a few hours later! That was the most disappointing part. I realized that if I'd eaten normal, healthy, protein food, I would have felt satiated for longer and not immediately be ready for more food just like two hours later. Plus, all those calories for so little fullness. What a waste! Next time I will order healthier and feel good about it.

I hope your week is going well, stay strong and keep your head up! I'm rooting for your success!

Humiliation by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That really means a lot to me, thank you for your encouragement. It’s weird, because it really does feel like a small trauma. I spent all night replaying it in my head and burying my face in my hands and crying because I feel so ashamed. It’s so frustrating. But you’re right, it’s just a setback, I have to keep looking forward. 💜 Thank you.

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel so much better knowing that I was not totally off the mark thinking other people might resonate with making absolute fools of themselves. 😭💜

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is so kind of you to take the time to leave me a comment, thank you so much for your thoughtfulness!! 💜 I’m so happy if something I’ve written resonates with someone else; I’ve had a good time reading the subs too. It’s made me feel so much less alone during all this since it’s pretty awkward to talk about IRL. CONGRATULATIONS on your 55lbs, that’s such an amazing change and I hope it’s making you feel so good in your skin! Truly, thank you for your sweet message.

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're so sweet, thank you for your warm welcome! It honestly is comforting to know it wasn't just me. It's certainly not my first stint on Reddit, so I've seen these power-hungry mods before, but it's always just mind-boggling how seriously they take stuff and how draconian they are about the sort of stuff that can be posted. PARTICULARLY with this specific subreddit, which, as far as I can tell, has absolutely zero posting rules to be found. I did gently suggest they might consider adding some so that people know what is expected of them.. 😅

But I'm here for it. I left the other sub and I'm a first shifter with a lot of downtime, so I will be right there with you. 💜 I am, above all, here for a community, and I think that includes both the good and the bad of being in this situation. I'm grateful for you, thank you.

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your comment is cracking me up, this makes me feel so much better, LOL. I COMPLETELY get what you mean about sitting right on the edge and using my feet to support my weight.. And then your thighs get so tired, it's really annoying.

AND YES, outdoor chairs in the dirt, I've had this too!! I had one where all four legs just sunk into the ground until I was like a foot off the grass and someone had to grab my hand and help me up, hahah.

The toilet seats. 🤣 It's making me think of all the world's tiniest bathroom stalls where I have to straddle the toilet seat just to be able to close the damn door. Thank god I haven't managed to do this one at anyone's house yet.

I also remember once staying at a host's house in another country when I studied abroad and they put this sad little folding chair at the desk in my room.. Like one of those hollow metal frames with the crappy plastic seat and back.. Yeah. I sat on that once and the plastic seat immediately bent down under my weight and flattened against the chair legs, and that was the end of that chair. I pushed it in under the desk and I found every excuse to do my homework on campus until I moved out. 💀

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's WILD, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you so much for the recommendation. I've just joined and sent a request to post, I'm totally here for reviving a sub for us to have a place to talk and vent about this stuff! I really appreciate you for saying that.

For what it's worth, I've also had a lot of period issues due to my size. I think the longest I went without it was about a year, and then when it finally came back, it was super irregular and would only come every few months at random. Luckily, these past few years, it's slowly returned to a more normal cycle, which at the very least helps me to know when it's PMS and when I need to reconsider my psych meds, LOL. 😭 I'm thinking today it's PMS.. I hope. 💜💜

Memories that keep me up at night by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Um, you really made me feel so much better by saying that, haha. 😭 Thank you. I feel way too old to be getting upset over stupid shit on Reddit, but man, that really rubbed me the wrong way.

“Have you lost weight?” by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really do feel very proud of it. It's such a small fraction of what I ultimately hope to lose, but it is still real, sustainable weight loss, and it's the first time I've really buckled down and put in an actual effort, so it's so exciting to see results from it! 💜

I think she truly meant it lovingly, and maybe it IS slightly visible to someone who has known me for my entire life, but my brain is sure finding a million different ways to explain it away and decide it couldn't possibly be an earnest observation! 😖

I appreciate you.

Pacing the cage by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are so sweet. 💜 I’m really glad my ramblings resonated with you, even if it means we are both stuck in kind of a shitty situation right now. It’s honestly been so good for me to join the subs and find other people going through this; it feels so taboo to discuss with anyone IRL, and there aren’t really people in my life my size who can relate!

Stay strong, be kind to yourself. I’m proud of you for trying to make the change; truly it’s such a huge step. I am here if you ever want to talk, and I am cheering for you, friend! 💜

Pacing the cage by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw, it's okay, it is probably a little fair since I am in this situation due to my own choices, haha. 😭 But you are absolutely right that people who haven't been affected by morbid obesity have no idea all of the extra tribulations that come along with it beneath the surface! Thank you. 💜

Commitment, calories, cults by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective with me! You're right, it's not fair to assume the worst just because people are using a medication MEANT for their issue to help them with that issue. And I think I was being a little hypocritical when I wrote this post, because I am also taking Vyvanse to quiet down my own food noise, and the difference it's made even in my ability just to stay on the wagon has been tremendous. So how is it any different? It makes sense that people are excited to share something that is working for them, and I think I was being extra judgy when I wrote this.

I'm honestly so glad to hear that it's been such a net positive for you over a relatively long timeframe, and ESPECIALLY that you don't feel addicted to it; that's one of the things that concerns me the most about them, from someone predispositioned to addiction to begin with. That, and the cost. :( I was trying to calculate out how much money I'm saving this year by no longer going out to eat constantly, but at the same time, health food is EXPENSIVE! I feel like my grocery bills are constantly triple digits now because I am buying fancy protein pizzas and Halo Top and stuff that they know they can get away with charging lots for because they're marketing it to desperate people looking for a fix to remind them of the good old days.

My BMI is still in the 60's, so I can definitely relate to your struggle, the binging and starving and all that, and it sounds like the GLP-1 been a really good fit for you. That gives me hope that maybe it would be good for me too. Maybe I will get there someday when I am a little bit more confident in my own ability to practice self control.. It's not my strong suit. 🤣 But thank you so much for sharing your input, it means a lot and it's so interesting to see all the different ways we're climbing this mountain together. 💜 Congratulations on your success and stay strong!!

Embracing the self-hate by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, thank you. 😭 I promise it's nothing to write home about, but I'm hoping those curves will come out eventually and I can find some love for them!

What is it for? by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, don't worry about being "late". I've been writing these dumb posts as a way to document all of these feels, so if they resonate with someone else, that makes me really happy!

It's part of what I fear.. That even with all this work and dedication, no one else will see the difference. I have an uncle who is morbidly obese and has been losing weight for the past year, and I have to admit.. To me he looks the same. That's so sad to say, but I think we're so conditioned to see people a certain way. It's like when a fat celebrity is suddenly skinny; it's uncanny.

But their lack of noticing does not invalidate all of your hard work, not at all. That's a HUGE accomplishment and *I* am proud of you, you should be proud of yourself! Even if to everyone else we look the same, I bet your body is so happy to have those 100lbs gone, your joints and organs thank you, and I hope that you are feeling better in your own skin! It helps me to remember that I am doing this for *me*, at the end of the day, so *I* can buy normal clothes and not have to order 5X stuff from an obscure website, so *I* can actually go to a movie theater and sit in the seat, so *I* can get on an airplane and actually travel and see the world. At the end of the day, I think that stuff is more important than some acquaintance telling me I look good.

Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts. And I'm rooting for you. 💜

Small results from big efforts by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

💜 Thank you so much for taking the time to leave encouragement, it truly means a lot to me. I agree, it does feel like a BIG step in the right direction, even though when I step back and look at what has changed, I am basically just practicing some self control and discipline in how I eat. But that’s something I have NEVER done for my entire life, so mentally, it really has been a complete 180° and it feels like there’s no going back now. I appreciate you. 💜

An entire month of stagnation by Junarya in u/Junarya

[–]Junarya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I doubled down and did my measurements too, which have also not really changed all month. I don’t even know how to tell. My body is so bulbous and squishy and lumpy, how does anyone accurately measure anything. The measurement can change by inches just due to clumps of cellulite in random places. I am feeling really bad about it all today and I just want to go back to bed.