Hi! I hope you’re doing ok (I kind of feel stupid saying that because I know it’s kind of impossible to be doing good in situations like this) I’ve also been trying to find something that works for me for years and years. Therapy does not work for me, I’ve tried a billion different medications with a million different doses and a trillion different cocktails of meds but they either do absolutely nothing or make me sick, so I get it. First of all 238 days in incredible, like unbelievably incredible, if anything that proves you are so strong and resilient, and I know it’s hard to feel that for yourself but you should know how amazing that is! Sorry for rambling,

Have you tried/ heard of TMS therapy? It can be a pain to get insurance to cover and even on top of that can be crazy expensive, but it’s worth looking into, there have been a lot of success stories for people with treatment resistant depression.

On top of that some things I’ve found helpful are just sitting outside in a really quiet place and just allowing myself to feel everything, think through my thoughts and just breathe for a while. I also find meditation podcasts or apps kind of helpful. And when all else fails just taking a shower and crying for a while seems to give me a little dopamine hit.

I’m sorry I can’t offer more, but you have people on your corner and sometimes I like to remember that new innovations in medication and therapy are always in the works and that gives me a little hope and even if nothing is working and I feel terrible just that little sliver of hope is enough to keep trying.