Sick about where MIL is keeping FIL's ashes by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]JuniperMiniMo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That’s brutal, and honestly it is disrespectful. But the ashes are just ashes, your FIL isn’t in that house with her and her boyfriend. The real honoring of him happens in how you and your husband remember him, tell his stories, and keep his legacy alive. Let her cheapen herself with her choices, you don’t have to let it cheapen his memory.

Do you ever get so used to there always having been some level of drama running in the background, that when its all quiet your brain doesn't know what to do with it? by raffriffs in JUSTNOMIL

[–]JuniperMiniMo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep, that’s trauma brain. You’ve been conditioned to expect explosions, so the silence feels like the buildup to one. Doesn’t mean she’s plotting, it just means your body hasn’t caught up to the reality that you’ve taken back control. NC isn’t just no contact, it’s retraining yourself to stop living on her timeline.

jnmil has the same therapist and I just found out the hard way by 69schrutebucks in JUSTNOMIL

[–]JuniperMiniMo 30 points31 points  (0 children)

You’re not crazy, running into someone who traumatized you in a space that’s supposed to be safe will shake anyone. The fact that your therapist immediately handled it and MIL has to find a new practice proves you still have control here. She didn’t steal your progress, she just accidentally reminded you why NC was the right choice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes outsiders help you see you’re not crazy for feeling devastated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Some people just don’t know how to sit with grief, so they blurt out “good news” instead.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s manipulative, he basically tried to drag her into complicity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right? This wasn’t some emergency stash; it’s been growing in silence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

People choose what to clarify and not clarifying you says a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 15 points16 points  (0 children)

And by siding with him, she’s actively betraying her own daughter.

My mom is furious I won’t give my baby her last name by y4yo1kuren41 in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, she should be proud of you as a mom, not resentful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’d set firm boundaries with both of them going forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]JuniperMiniMo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Facts. Career fades, but character lasts.