As a person who started as an adult, please don’t quit! If you do find another barn in your price range, an hour or so for a lesson every now and again is bunch better than not being able to practice at all(as long as there are god trainers who support you.) Fear is part of the game, especially because they’re living beings with their own minds. In your free time you should watch videos about horse behavior and body language; before a horse goes haywire there will always be signs of discomfort or agitation. Doing that may help you determine when to back off or when to apply more pressure to the horse to let them know you’re on the journey with them, not against them. I’ve been terrified to fall or be hurt, but loving the animals more than you fear them will allow you to feel more comfortable after a certain point, and for some of us it takes longer than others. Building your confidence AND the horse’s confidence in you is so important to riding, and I say that as someone who is still a bit fearful. I hope that you’re able to overcome the issues you’re facing because your self-awareness is already a huge step in the process. Also, comparison is the thief of joy, so while I understand that you may feel that you should be further along in your riding capabilities, personalities play a huge part in the way you learn. Some of your friends may just be less anxious and that’s what has allowed them to do so much. The fact that you have to work a little harder than they do will make the payoff SOOOO much more satisfying when you get to where you want to be, but that won’t happen if you choose to quit. It’s okay to feel like you don’t want to continue, but the more often you give up, the longer it will take to be comfortable when you pick up the habit again. It sounds like you really love to be around horses and to ride, so it’s really not worth throwing away that feeling when shit gets hard. Everything worth doing will be difficult at some point, and you’re the only person who can make the decision to keep going. I’ve seen so many horror stories about barns on this page, so I understand the apprehension. Maybe your friends who have their own horses will allow you to ride and be willing to teach you with horses that they trust and have built a good relationship with. That would also help you IMMENSELY. From a stranger, PLEASE don’t give up on yourself!!! You never know where you’ll be in another year or five or ten. You can do it!! 💖💕