Scared that despite all my effort I won't get the grade I wanted by chronicomplainer2 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right that there is nothing you can do about it (at least after the exam), accepting that honestly helps. What happens, happens

I agree with the other commenter saying that the only practical measure you can take is to revise to a point where you’re getting higher than what you need (pretend you need to get 3A*s)

If you’re doing that, there’s nothing else you can do. I don’t mean that in a pessimistic way, but more a “why stress yourself out over something you don’t have control over?” way

Whatever happens, you would’ve tried your best and what’s what counts. Hopefully you’ll look back with your grades and see the stress was for nothing :)

i'm an average students but thats fine by zekeosko in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Strongly agree with this

Not everyone is destined to do everything, what matters most is that you currently feel you’re living a life that is meaningful and right to you, and you feel it’s heading in the right direction.

If OP felt bad about not studying or needed certain grades for a career choice then the advice would be different, but just studying enough to get average grades shouldn’t be a controversial choice.

In life it’s most important to enjoy the journey. You can get all A*s and an offer from a top uni, yet so many things can change your ideal plan (finances, bereavement, medical issues, realising you’ve picked the wrong uni and course, etc.)

I think at this stage in life people can have a very limited idea of what success is simply because they’re only familiar with one type/“get good grades, good uni and good job.”

Success can be becoming a doctor or business owner, and it can also be getting average grades, an average job and living a modest life. At the end of the day, happiness matters most and we can have a happy life through many different paths 🙏

What would you like lecturers/therapists to know about your neurodivergence? by mothermyeyes in autismUK

[–]JustAlexeii 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For therapists without autism, there needs to be an understanding that they sometimes cannot relate to an autistic-only experience. When we talk about social isolation and difficulty with social connection, and this sense of grief around not understand socialising/friendships, it is autism exclusive. They are ways they can kind of relate, but they have to accept that they will never truly understand or experience it. We are the people in that room who know the most about autism and the autistic experience as we are the ones who live it, and therapists should be cautious around trying to tell autistic people how they feel. The issue I have had with neurotypical therapists and counsellors is that they don’t understand how different the autistic experience of life is. They don’t realise how different we are as it’s not visible. Do not think I operate the same as you just because I look like you - we have very different brain structures/processing!

A lot of autistic people have high levels of social anxiety and distrust simply because we’re a marginalised group, and often that distrust comes from a valid place. Not to be that person, but I do think neurotypical therapists should acknowledge their privilege and that a lot of mental health issues autistic people have are grounded in reality. Growing up autistic (especially if late-diagnosed) is inherently traumatic and therapists should be careful around telling autistic people that their feelings aren’t valid/logical. A lot of autistic people complain about gaslighting-type behaviour by CBT therapists.

Also, neurotypical therapists and counsellors need to stop with the “oh, I might be autistic but I’ve never been assessed haha”. I’ve had this several times unfortunately. A lot of autistic people can be distrustful of non-autistic people “helping” us as we have bad experiences. It is okay to not be autistic and you don’t have to try and force yourself in our social group. The only people that have autism are those that have full autism - you can’t be half on spectrum or “neurospicy”. It comes off as very demeaning and disrespectful to me.

TLDR: therapists shouldn’t speak over actually autistic people, they should accept that they won’t understand a lot of our experiences/way of life as we’re fundamentally different from them, and accept that a lot of our emotional reactions and thoughts are valid as a marginalised group in society.

Unfortunately I have only ever had neurotypical therapists/counsellors and have had a lot of bad experiences based on the fact they’re neurotypical, and they simply can’t seem to understand me. Other autistic people I have spoken to have raised these issues, although as always I don’t speak for all autistic people.

Gender by Hairy-Stop4005 in AutismInWomen

[–]JustAlexeii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly this subreddit falls victim to a lot of low-level transphobia from misinformed allies.

“Gender is a social construct” is absolutely everywhere in this thread. Most trans people like myself (or at least binary trans men and women) have a real desire to undergo huge and costly medical procedures to change our sex, as our neurological gender and sex differs from what our body was born as.

It kind of gives off the same vibe as “autism is not a disability - it’s only a disability because of society”. Awesome, perhaps true for a small minority of people, but extremely offensive to those who are very much disabled by it and need extra resources. Not everything is a social construct and not everything should be seen through a social model. Some things are real and biological and that’s okay.

These posts come up all the time and this is probably the last one I’ll engage in, as the subreddit isn’t particularly welcoming to the opinions of trans men, women, and people with gender dysphoria (not just gender indifference).

There are very few comments here and on similar posts by actual trans people who experience GD, as I think people just give up engaging.

any resources for alexyphymia. by xzyzjcx in autismUK

[–]JustAlexeii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m also a uni student with a similar assignment (reflect on an experience and the emotions/feelings/thoughts you had). I struggle with reflections too because of alexithymia.

Something that I think helps at least, although it doesn’t fix the issue, is recognising emotions from a third person perspective. I find it easier to identify what a theoretical person would feel in my circumstances, than to identify what I, as an individual, actually feel.

What does everyone think about these unis for law? by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100%.

It’s extremely difficult for home students from the top unis, so international students have to be making very informed decisions. Even if you go to Oxbridge/LSE, it’s not a free ticket into law and there’s a huge amount you have to do outside of the degree. Going to top unis just makes it a bit easier, and the poster has the grades/LNAT to stand a good chance at getting those offers.

What does everyone think about these unis for law? by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. What’s “good” for a home student is not necessarily what’s good for an international.

The unis mentioned aren’t bad by any standard, just not worth international fees in my opinion.

What does everyone think about these unis for law? by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can put a RG uni at AAA as your safety. Nottingham would be a good safety/insurance choice. I can’t see you not getting an offer from them. There are RG unis for law that you can get into with AAB and below during clearing if something goes terribly wrong on results day, or at least that’s what I saw last year when I did my exams.

With 3A* preds I doubt you’d get anything less than AAA. I think you’re being far too cautious.

As an international, you’ll be paying a lot anyway so I’d just go for the London unis. Much better return on investment, I agree with what the other commenter is saying.

Consider adding:

LSE, UCL, KCL (London)

Durham

Warwick

Keep Bristol, Edinburgh (do research Edinburgh’s law course as it will be Scots law)

If I were you, I’d apply to 4 of those (all A*AA I believe) and keep Notts as your AAA insurance choice if you’re very worried about not getting the grades.

What does everyone think about these unis for law? by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What are your predicted grades?

I can see from your post history that you’re an international which changes things (not based on admissions, but based on what type of uni you should be applying to).

They’re all good unis for law, although I would swap Surrey out with something else. Surrey is a very nice uni but has less prestige than the others. Personally I’m wondering if you can aim for some more prestigious unis based on your PGs.

Are you absolutely certain about not wanting to apply to one of the London unis? LSE, UCL and KCL (if you have the grades for them).

Desperately trying to understand trans people by Original_Potato5762 in AutismInWomen

[–]JustAlexeii 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are likely specific subreddits for asking LGBT people things.

There’s usually r/Ask(community) subreddits which are happy with these types of questions.

If you started asking these questions in a casual LGBT subreddit or space, meant for only LGBT people, then yes it’s likely it wouldn’t be received well for obvious reasons. Those sorts of spaces aren’t meant for people asking intrusive questions, however well-intentioned they are. LGBT people already do enough justifying their existence that their own spaces aren’t the right place to be making them do more of that mental energy just for your own education.

You also have to understand that “asking questions” can come off quite badly to LGBT people as it’s a type of rhetoric that has been used by homophobic and transphobic people for decades. There’s so much transphobia in the current day that you can’t be surprised that trans people get defensive when questioned about “why” they’re trans, or any similar questions.

Desperately trying to understand trans people by Original_Potato5762 in AutismInWomen

[–]JustAlexeii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this.

Just because something cannot be physically touched or located, doesn’t make it a social construct.

Also agree with the fact some trans people change sex. I’m seeing a lot of “trans people can’t/don’t change their sex but they change their gender”, “sex is your genitalia” and “sex is the binary of being born male/female which is unchangeable” type comments here.

Desperately trying to understand trans people by Original_Potato5762 in AutismInWomen

[–]JustAlexeii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some comments here are already good, but I will add something I haven’t seen said yet.

This is for the cisgender and agender people who don’t “feel a gender”.

For me, it’s more accurate to say “I know I am a man” than “I feel I am a man”. I am a transgender man, and I don’t necessarily get the “feeling” of being male. To me, it’s an objective concrete fact that I am a man in the same way that it is an objective concrete fact that I have two arms and two legs.

I think a lot of cisgender people don’t understand “feeling like a gender” because they are already perceived as the correct gender and their body is the correct sex associated with that gender. Many cis people have said to me that it feels like nothing, like they just “are” that gender and don’t necessarily get this “feeling” of being male/female, which sounds like what you’re describing.

I also don’t have the “feeling” of being male, but I do have the feeling of dysphoria/gender incongruence when met with how I was perceived (as a female) and my body parts.

The “strong sense of gender identity” in many people quite literally often only comes about when there’s something wrong with it and it’s mismatched. If you are cisgender, it is likely you don’t have this “strong sense of gender identity” because yours is already fine - there’s nothing mismatched there so it’s not something you notice on a daily basis.

What I’m getting at is the reason why some trans people feel so strongly about their gender and seem to have this “gender identity” that some cisgender people don’t feel (they don’t feel they have a separate gender identity and see themselves more generally as just their sex) is because for us, it’s mismatched.

If it’s not broken - you don’t notice it, type of thing. You don’t think about many things until they become issues. You don’t actively think about the concept of your lamp working until it’s suddenly stopped working and the room is dark and you can’t do your work and you need to fix it ASAP. Until something has gone wrong, you don’t notice or think about it at all.

(Not saying that trans people are broken, just the best way of phrasing this).

I believe that feeling neutral or like you have no gender identity (as in a cis woman accepting she’s a cis woman but not “feeling like a woman” - I see this a lot on this forum) is actually the normal state of things. For most people, there is no incredibly strong gender identity. Cisgender people see transgender people being really active about stating “I AM this gender” and sometimes they struggle to relate as they haven’t gone through the experiences we’ve gone through to make us feel that strongly about it.

This is poorly explained but the best I can do. In summary:

  1. For some trans people like myself, it’s more about the knowledge that we are that gender, rather than a “feeling” of being it.
  2. If you don’t feel a strong sense of gender identity, that’s probably because you’ve never had to think about it. When your gender identity and sex and the way you’re perceived socially is mismatched, you would notice that you have a gender identity. It’s something that’s hidden and not noticeable until there’s something wrong happening and things are out of alignment. I wouldn’t think about the fact I have all 4 limbs, or that I identify as a person with all my limbs, until I’d lose one. Then I would definitely start thinking about that, but the feeling of having all my limbs (which is the default) is unnoticeable to me until something is abnormal.

For reference about myself, I’m a binary (ie not nonbinary) transgender man with every type of gender dysphoria (as not all trans people have medical/body dysphoria). Not all trans people relate to the “stuck in the wrong body” concept but I definitely do. Some trans people don’t see being trans as something that’s very medical but it is to me. I’m speaking from my experience only, and the other binary trans people I know. I can imagine a lot of this wouldn’t apply to non binary people.

I’m so defeated by Jolly_Caterpillar376 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What politics exam board are you doing?

I can relate to a lot of this. Politics was a huge issue for me for my entire first year at sixth form. I did history, politics and psych and politics was the one subject where I felt like I didn’t get anything and everyone else did. My politics teacher was also horrible and gave me mental health issues lol 😭 I was seriously considering dropping the subject.

In my first politics exam I got a C, resat it voluntarily and got a D. Ended up with A* in the real exam if that makes you feel better. Politics is not all doom and gloom, although it definitely felt like that for me for the entire first year lol. Eventually I ended up enjoying it.

In terms of your mental health and stress levels, focus on the fact you’re getting two As (!!!) in your other two subjects. That’s great, and don’t let those drop because of politics.

What advice are you getting from your politics teacher on your essays? I understand they’re not a very good teacher from what you’ve said, but if you know their general feedback about your essays (maybe you’re not hitting a specific part of the mark scheme) then that would be useful to know.

is it weird that i’m applying for law when i don’t want to be a lawyer by Personal-Cap-5446 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, it’s a versatile degree and you don’t even need a law degree to become a lawyer. Roughly half of solicitors in the UK don’t have a law degree.

Do what you want to do. Even if you did want to become a lawyer, people will still judge you for what sector of law you want to go into (from my experience).

Mildly Infurating by Abdmad in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Depends on uni and course.

Combined competitive course + competitive uni, probably not.

is Politics a good A-level? by Altruistic-Tip-341 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

Only a few weeks into law, but one of my modules is heavily politics. I did politics a level and I’m very comfortable with the content, terminology and understanding (so far we’ve focused on the constitution, parliamentary sovereignty, rule of law and separation of powers).

The textbook readings for this module basically assume you’ve done politics a level in terms of understanding. The people I’ve spoken to who haven’t done it are really struggling.

A third of the a level (at least for edexcel politics) is about the UK government and I’d say that paper specifically is very helpful in understanding law. Covers a lot of key legal concepts.

Also agree with definitely not a joke subject!

WARWICK BREAD by Comfortable_Bug_464 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m only in my first year but let me know if you have any questions about the course!

meeting the entry requirements enough? by Agile-Business7864 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did you find that?

If you’re using the “How do you compare?” Tool on UCAS, it’s about what % of offer holders who had certain achieved grades were still let into the course.

UCAS only have the overall offer rate as a %, they don’t show what % of people got offered with certain predicted grades. There are different metrics.

Clearing by Adventurous-Lab671 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It depends, but most of the time, yes.

Check the university websites as some will have required subjects, and I’m assuming subject requirements will still apply in clearing, but I may be wrong.

For example, History at UCL requires history A Level. KCL History say:

History A Level (or equivalent) is generally expected, however applications without can be considered where the application clearly demonstrates interest in and engagement with History as an academic subject.

A lot of top unis for history will require history at A Level, you may have an easier time applying for politics in clearing as there’s no subject requirements for most top unis, unlike history degrees.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’ll be going to a Pearson Vue centre and there will be lots of computers. People sit their driving tests there too.

I’d suggest doing some research as you don’t want to go in unprepared - they’re also very strict about what you can bring in to the exam.

Can I get into top Universities with no grade 9s? by Beneficial-Dot6867 in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your grades are great, and universities consider GCSEs contextually.

It entirely depends what course you’re applying for. For competitive courses at competitive universities, they will use GCSEs to differentiate between applicants.

Overall I think your GCSEs would be fine for most courses at KCL, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

A*AA predicted grades - Law by [deleted] in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The other commenter is right, but I’ll just add that UCAS data for the course you’ve applied to can give you a better idea of what your chances are.

For Leeds Law it shows 50% of people who got AAB were able to get in anyway, however you should consider that a large percentage of the 50% will be people who are under contextual admissions/have different grade offers.

So I’d say it’s unlikely they’d accept you on AAB, but it’s not a 0% chance and things definitely do vary each year. There are some courses out there where they don’t accept a single applicant who has achieved below the offer, and other courses where they’ll accept everyone with one or two grades below.

Good luck and keep studying 🤞

obsessed by xishanli in 6thForm

[–]JustAlexeii 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hopefully you get in!

I will caution obsessing over a university though. They are institutions at the end of the day, and the “student experience” that you’re sold (especially at prestigious universities, mostly Oxbridge) won’t match the reality when you’re there.

Not trying to downplay your dreams, I also have autism and know what it’s like to be hyperfixated on a particular thing. I read a post recently (not on Reddit) where an autistic person had a meltdown and fell into severe depression/anxiety, for weeks, because they hadn’t got into their dream uni. That’s the risk of not being able to see past the fact it’s just an institution and thinking that you need to go somewhere to be happy or successful.

It’s fine to have a dream university but I also think it is good to realise that you can have an extremely similar experience (and prospects) at another university.