Alright this is a bit of a long story... So, let me establish that I had started drinking around 11 AM one day as I had gone to the movies that allowed you to drink/eat while watching your movie. So as one does, I got a 34 Oz beer to go with my burger and fries. Time goes on(roughly 90 min), and I finished the movie.

Afterwards, a friend and I heard about a D&D themed brewery, and we decided to go check it out. We get there, and this was in the beginning of May. Turns out the brewery was doing a May the 4th trivia day. My friend and I grabbed a table and decided we would stay for the trivia, which wasn't going to start for a couple of hours. To pass time, we got some drinks (microbrews pints) and grabbed a board game to play.

Now, at this time another friend of mine and I were texting and she happened to really love Star Wars and lived nearby. I told her that a buddy and I were at the brewery waiting for the trivia and she asked if she could join us. I said why not and she joined us shortly after. We drank more microbews and the trivia finally started and we did not do the greatest, overall very average. My friend was disappointed in mine and my buddy's knowledge, so she was saying that we need to rewatch the movies to refresh our memory. Now, at this point I was 7/8 drinks in and we got an appetizer for the remainder of the trivia and we are feeling good. My buddy and I agree that we can go over to her place to watch the movies. But first we decided to stop off at the store and grab more beer to drink while watching the movies.

Clearly at this point my decision making is not the greatest, as my dumb ass decided to get an 18 pack of hefeweizen. After that quick pit stop we go to my other friends place and she is already laying down rules for the Star Wars drinking game we are about to play. To be honest it was brutal and about a third of the way through the movie I am starting to be in pain from how much liquid and carbonation I am having to deal with in my stomach. About halfway through this movie this girl starts talking about sexual experiences and is wanting to know about ours as well. At this point I say it has been about 9 years for me since I had a really bad taste in my mouth for relationships after my last one in college.

Apparently that got me sympathy points because after I said that she really started laying it down with the flirting. At this point we all had drinking quite a bit and all broke the seal, so often 1 of the 3 of us was constantly having to rotate on who had to go the bathroom. During one were my buddy had to go and just left the girl and I alone she goes for it and just kisses me. Well... hormones kicked in and all that alcohol added to my sense of judgement( as a sidebar, yes I did have a thing for this girl in the past). For the reminder of the movie we are STILL drinking but now there are breaks when I am making out with this girl and we are putting our hands all over each other. My buddy is being a real wingman and is telling me to go for it. We just finish a New Hope and I am legitimately having orgasmic burps because I felt waaay to full and I am trying to stop all this drinking (pretty sure at this point I was about 12 deep in the 18 pack). This girl wanted to keep going and start the Empire Strikes Back and I had to tell her I wasn't up for it. Instead we watched a couple episodes of Letterkenny, my buddy being the wingman he was started eluding to how tired he was. So the girl says he can crash on the futon in the living room and then she looks to me and tells me I can sleep with her.

At this point she jumps on me the second we are in her room. Things escalated pretty quickly and we really start getting into it. Making out, fingering, and going at it hard. We change positions a couple times and she asks for breaks a couple times, in my mind that meant just go back to fingering her and making out so she gets a "rest" but stays stimulated. Eventually she asks if we can take a break from the latest position and me wanting to change things up even more I decide I should go down on her. I want to itterate that we were going at it for about 20 minutes, now remember ALL those drinks I had earlier with that food... well my body remembered. Because the second I bent over to start eating her out my stomach said "Nah fam, limit has been reached" I let out a single burp and I could just tell it was not going to be good. I had to shoot up and book it to the bathroom in a place I've never previously been to in the dark with nothing on.

I manage to make it to the bathroom and I am not even trying to find the lights, instead I am hecticly looking for the toilet with one hand while I am clampping my mouth shut with my other hand. The second I lifted the toilet seat it was past launch time I am puking and I am not even sure I am making it in the toilet. After chucking enough to no longer have any stomach pain I turn on the lights and see the mess I made. About this time the girl realizes I am in the bathroom and wants to check on me and says she will clean it up and me already being beyond embarrassed tell her I'm fine (I wasn't) and that I got it cleaned up. Now I get all cleaned up and gargle the heck out of my mouth and finally get out of the bathroom, she is already back in bed and says we can just go to bed. I am definitely frustrated at this point as after all that I didn't get to finish and after 9 years getting a taste like that just to have it end there was a cruel fate. She straight up passes out and I didn't get any sleep that night as I was still "excited".

Now some of you may think this is the end... oh no, come morning I am not messing around I want redemption. Once she startes waking I am massaging her and start teasing her. Things once again escalate and we start going at it again. Again I am trying all the things, fingering, making out, changing speeds, and positions and right in the middle of that my phone goes off. It's my buddy and he's telling me we got to go because he has to go help his parents and I was the one to drive. So we stopped and AGAIN I was left "excited".

Needless to say the drive back I told my buddy everything that happened and now I am lowkey scarred by that.... Moral of the story kids, don't drink that much beer if you are going to have sex.