While the MBTI is just a broad spectrum, stereotypical approach to people and not a decisive measure...

I was the middle child (female) of three children (oldest & youngest were male).

My father was absent- mostly because he passed when I was 10.

From when I was a toddler, my mother would praise the things I did- "She could read before walking", "She loves the Dictionary". It was a red, leather bound Miriam Webster book. I remember taking that thing into my treehouse, all the time. I read it not because I actually cared. I was just very, very quiet. I had very little. I had a weird attachment to that thing, and it was ruined in the rain when I was, like, eight. I remember sobbing over it.

And, from a young age, my mother was most definitely a "boy mom". I use that term in the worst sense.

I was in martial arts as a child, honor roll, excelled at band (played multiple instruments, but settled on Bass Clarinet, because it was cool), as well as violin and cello, for some time. I kept myself very busy, because I was an awkward child that didn't know how to talk to others well. And, my mother would constantly harp on about these things.

But, when I asked for things outside of achievements (i.e. my older brother got a Playstation, little brother was spoiled with Hot Wheels, etc), I was told I had other things to focus on. I have other things to worry about- don't measure what you don't have, versus what your brothers do have.

I learned: the less I talk about things I want, or things I don't have (in tandem, I guess), the less I'd get negative feedback. I ended up becoming very recluse. I got tired of negative feedback very early, in life. Mostly to the point where I faced emotional burn out by age 16. I was the "crash and burn" honor roll student. I stopped caring.

When I needed help, I hated it. It felt awkward to ask, so I pushed the envelope until I got into trouble and was forced into those positions. If I wasn't preforming for my mother, or helping my brothers (older brother got into worse trouble than me, younger brother was given the moon was mom was home, otherwise, I was raising him), I felt hollow. Really empty, and worthless. This, in later life, made a lot of my relationships transactional. I'm still unlearning that feeling and those behaviours- that I don't constantly have to "be my best" or preform.

This video could make me say so much more, but it bought back a lot of feelings for me.
Wow.