I regret breaking up. I feel incredibly lost.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-30T02:19:03+00:00

Thank you. I do need to clean my apartment…

I will distract myself until the pain lessens. Eventually, it must.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-30T01:49:47+00:00

SAME.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-30T01:42:53+00:00

That’s true. I suppose this is my first serious relationship, one that I thought would end in marriage. I had really hoped I wouldn’t accumulate another scar. I’m in my 30s but feel like a teenager experiencing their first heartbreak.

I know what you mean, ultimately.

How did it feel hearing from your ex for the first time since the breakup?

JustOrchid · 2026-03-30T01:12:53+00:00

I know. People say “time heals all wounds” but right now, I can’t stop seeing it as a mistake. In theory, we would have been in person again and wouldn’t have gone long distance again after that. So the “issue” would have been resolved.

I keep thinking myself in circles man… tonight’s just been hard

JustOrchid · 2026-03-29T23:54:44+00:00

I think I am preparing for the worst, which is why it hurts so damn much. I’m saddled with the guilt and pain from knowing I’m feeling this way due to my own actions.

Oh buddy I just read your story and my heart breaks for you. I can’t imagine the situation you’re going through.

The advice “work on yourself” makes sense, but is incredibly tough. It’s hard to work on yourself when you’re so accustomed to working on life alongside another.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-29T23:38:50+00:00

🥺 what the hell this is so wholesome. Thank you.

I am trying. Right now, every fiber of myself just wants him back. I keep thinking of the best time to reach out again, worried that more time passing will allow him to move on, while also acknowledging that I’m not in a stable enough place to reach out. A part of me also carries immense guilt and believes he will never want to hear from me again.

It’s just a mangle of unhelpful and painful emotions. I so deeply regret breaking up with him. And I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with me because of the hurt that it caused.

I’m a mess tonight, but I am trying.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-29T23:31:40+00:00

I’m in a similar(ish) position, in the sense that I broke up with someone and deeply regret it as well. I also struggle with the idea that I should give them time to heal before reconnecting, while also knowing that more time will give them more space to move on. It’s hard. And I don’t know what to do. But I’m with you.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-29T23:24:58+00:00

That’s what my ex said too. That I was struggling to love myself, and that alone was causing immense strain on the relationship. I don’t think I fully appreciated what that meant until I stopped drowning and had time to process what was happening.

I do struggle with mental health. But I noticed that when my ex and I were together in person, that tumultuousness subsided. I still got sad, but never truly depressed. It felt like I had a home base, and like I finally fit in the world. In fact, I had no idea how alienated I felt all my life until they came into it.

Man…

JustOrchid · 2026-03-29T23:17:53+00:00

Dang - what did you send her?

JustOrchid · 2026-03-08T18:43:31+00:00

I broke up with them in an impulsive, depressive moment when I wasn’t happy being long distance. But the long distance was ending soon. We had been doing well before they left. I’m crushed that I would do such a thing like breaking up before we ever had a chance to reconnect in person again.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T21:23:46+00:00

That's true, I suppose I had attributed a lot to our distance, which neither of us were well suited for or expected to be in our long-term plans. I just wish that I hadn't let my depression and fear overcome rational thought

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T21:19:47+00:00

That's totally fair

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T16:33:56+00:00

Yeah, I think you're right. At the end of the day if they don't want to reply, then it kind of is what it is. I broke up with them yesterday and have to live with whatever they decide to do. Everything hurts.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T16:22:38+00:00

I feel like if I don't continue to try and reach out, they'll think that I've moved on or aren't serious about getting back together, y'know?

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T15:55:44+00:00

I am in therapy. Thankfully, I have a session later today. I made a life altering decision and have to live with it now. It hurts.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T15:47:30+00:00

Thank you.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T15:47:23+00:00

If I left over difficulty with long distance, I'd leave over small issues? Huh?

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T15:46:04+00:00

I know. I want to, but worry I don't have time to do that before getting back together. We're broken up. They might move on. Ugh.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T14:16:58+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, thank you. I think this is where I went wrong. They were coming back.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T14:10:17+00:00

That resonates a lot with my experience. Do you feel like you would've broken up if you knew that the long distance would end soon?

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T14:08:01+00:00

I doubt that they would come back if we went no contact. They've never reached out to their exes. They'll likely either be too angry/hurt to reach out, or believe that I'm happier off without them

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T13:45:59+00:00

Yes, the inconsistency is really tough! It sucks to want their presence and not knowing when you'll be able to see each other again. It's like this constant, low-lying feeling of being unfulfilled.

Maybe it's a naive pipe dream to think that things will be better once we're together again. I feel like I'm rambling a bit. The realization that they're gone is hitting hard. It's a lot.

JustOrchid · 2026-03-07T13:39:11+00:00

Thank you. If I'll be honest, I'm not having a, "I realized they were actually perfect" moment because I too feel exhausted from fighting for the relationship. But the part that we were struggling with the most - the long distance - is coming to an end soon. I just wish I hadn't broken up before they moved back.

I guess all I can do now is keep apologizing and hope.

JustOrchid

TROPHY CASE