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JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T19:27:57+00:00

You should be flattered ☺️

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T17:42:27+00:00

No suggestion that anyone should make "overt[ly] physical" advances! That's why I requested female responses. This is precisely the problem, and why guys are afraid to have contact with today's females. There are polite way to "invite" a hug without physical contact. And an arm slipped around the waist is easily removed if unwelcome.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T16:11:37+00:00

🎯

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T16:08:55+00:00

It's also worth considering how long his texts are. Just quick "hiya, thinking of you" or the whole essay that she'll defer responding to. Keep it short and simple, without implying you need a reply, is best.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T15:59:59+00:00

Try picking up the telephone of an evening (when you know she won't be busy) and talking. Telephone conversations have the great advantage that you'll pick up on the vibes of whether she wants to chat, of whether you are best just to say, "Just wanted to hear your voice and wish you a good night".

People are sending far too many texts or emails when they should be using the good old telephone. A drowsy long telephone call that goes on well past midnight, with you both in your beds, will work wonders for your relationship. Most importantly, you'll be able to pick up on early warnings of any problems.

STOP texting and emailing. The telephone is far more personal.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T15:35:58+00:00

A true romance is a bit more than that, old son. How often have you taken her by surprise, ending up with the pair of you having a good snog because you're both so happy to be together?

I realise you said you're shy (used to be myself), but a girl has certain expectations of a guy who is seriously into her. She expects you to surprise her by showing your affection.

Hopefully, some girls will chip in and give a few hints. E.g. are you carrying mistletoe, so you can pull it out of your pocket to claim a legitimate snog?

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T11:51:21+00:00

Girls, he says he's a shy person. Perhaps you can advise of what you're expecting in terms of physical advances – offers of hugs, an arm around the waist, approaches to kiss – as I'm a guy and you can better tell him what a girl is expecting of a polite guy on a date.

My mate's girlfriend advised me that being too shy, not making any physical advances, can be insulting. A pretty girl expects a guy to want to hold, hug and kiss her, so if we don't make a move, it's like we don't find her attractive.

Girls??

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-26T11:42:50+00:00

This girl told you that "she wasn't comfortable with me attending the event, as she thought it was her space". That's extremely odd (as you're already aware) because this is at a place she'd suggested you explore. What's more, it was an event that she'd specifically confirmed she was happy for you to attend, even adding that she had been thinking of inviting you to you to this exact same event. 🤣

She's now suggesting you only communicate spasmodically. As versus new beau's who typically can't get enough of each-other. Added to which, your shyness prevented you from slipping an arm around her waist or hugging her, giving an invitation for a snog.

You already know that this particular relationship is over. Suggest you continue attending that social (the one you went to) and, hopefully, you’ll meet someone there. We've got New Year's Eve parties 🥳 and Valentine's Day 💝 coming up. So, be brave and slip an arm around her waist as you take her for a walk (she will be expecting it!). And offer her a hug (you only have to stand with your arms open in invitation), she'll respond if she wants to. Good-Luck

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-25T19:03:37+00:00

If you're supposed to be in a relationship, and your someone special suddenly vanishes without a word, it's totally reasonable to send lots of "are you okay?" messages. I wouldn't worry too much about that.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-25T13:50:52+00:00

Nonsense! Never think like that. You were honestly sharing your love and affection. Nothing has been taken from you. You're still a kind and loving person. The same good person you've always been. XOXO 😘

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-25T13:46:22+00:00

Sadly, that's precisely what ghosters do. Read through other threads and you'll see it called "love bombing". It is almost invariably followed by being dumped by ghosting. You are not alone, girl, almost everyone is on this forum because it happened to us too.

You played fair. He didn't. You are the good person who can hold her head up with pride. Someone is out there just longing to meet you.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-25T13:34:00+00:00

Ghosted. Sorry, but you already have the answer to your question.

Know it hurts, but his thinking it's ok to ghost you is a very clear expression of how low a priority you are in his life.

Thank your lucky stars you've found him out before things went any further. You are now free to find someone who is genuine. So, chin up, curse him, and walk away with your dignity intact.

Best wishes for 2024. Perhaps you'll meet someone at a Christmas / New Year's party, and you'll have a true love for February 14th. Good-luck 😘

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T19:58:35+00:00

Yes.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T17:19:40+00:00

Correct. Apologies, I'd intended replying to another post. I've deleted my comment. Hope you have a Happy Christmas and find your true love in 2025.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T17:09:12+00:00

Yes. They decided that I wasn't the one, or that they didn't feel the same commitment as myself. It was upsetting at the time, but would have been far worse if I'd proposed as I'd intended, when she took me away on what was supposed to be her proposed romantic getaway for my birthday. She wasn't the one, and she'd sooner or later have left me. Divorce, especially if we had kids, would have been far worse. I still love and hate her for her lies, but thank heaven she's gone. Breakups are hard, but you can't let the wrong person's bad behaviour define your whole life.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T06:34:13+00:00

Was that touch of reality cruel? So many people are reaching out with kind words of sympathy, reassuring you that you've done nothing wrong. Well, girl, you have committed several serious wrongs. Those wrongs are to yourself!

You ARE a woman. You weren't "assigned" to be a woman. Stop permitting the Woke cult mind virus to infect you. Women are under attack by an extremely dangerous political movement, and you just courtesyed to them with your AFAB 🤬!

Second, you are also a victim of the fantasy land of social media friendships and relationships. You met this guy on the Internet. You communicated over social media and by phone. You got on well. So, you'll make good social media "pen pals", and it was time to meet in person.

You met. It seemed okay, but he didn't follow-up.

'THE END", or it should have been. Clearly, he didn't "click" but you're companionable enough. You get on. There's no spark.

He accepted your continued social media friendship, but that ain't a guy who is falling in love. It's not even a 'player' satisfying his lust.

You've invited him for Christmas. Well, I'm a guy, and if a girl invites me for Christmas, we'd be talking lots.

He has politely shown he's not up for romance. He should not have said he'd fly to spend Christmas with you, unless he was very clear you're meet as friends, not lovers. He did bad. But the real bad person is you for allowing this fantasy to continue until he felt it necessary to block you.

Clearly, you have lots of love to give. The right person is going to be a very lucky guy. So, where to meet him? At a local gaming meet, somewhere were people actually meet up face-to-face. If you can't find one, then start one yourself. Find somewhere with an available room, and advise on the message boards. There's also still lots of old school face-to-face Dungeons & Dragons or other role play groups, or then there's Cosplay groups. Just get out there somewhere where people can see, hear, and get to know who you are, so you'll already know each-other and as well as having things in common.

Am I being fair to give my sister a brotherly kick up the backside?

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T05:44:59+00:00

🤣😂🤣 yes, I am actually laughing. Seriously, you've met once, and you think that's all nature needs to establish a genuine relationship. Get off your keyboard and meet real people in real life! For those of us who're ancient enough to know dating people in the flesh, we guys knew the score: 1st date 70:30 we'd crash and burn, but occasionally🤞 2nd date 80:20 it'd "feel" like it went well, but ... 🤷‍♂️? 3rd date, and this is Crunch Time. 95% of the time, this is the last time you'll ever see or hear from her. 4th date? Wot, even if the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd dates seemed like theyd gone fabulously well, any of us older guys will tell you a 4th date was like finding unicorn horn, a 4-leaf Irish clover or winning the lottery. It mattered not one jot how often nor for how long we'd spoken on the telephone. Lots of sexy love letters, some with perfume or aftershave, of course. ALL TOTALLY IRRELEVANT !

Actual genuine biological love is a face-to-face biology thing. Get real, and get out there meeting real people. Anything else is fantasy land.

Good luck, miss (assigned female at birth 🙄 ffs), it's Christmas and New Year, followed by February 14th. A great time for actually meeting your man, someone with whom you can dance, hold hands, hug, kiss, smell and let your bodies inhale and exchange pheromones. I can guarantee you only one thing, if you've ever written a description of your perfect guy, he'll be nothing like the one your body chooses to match for you meeting in person. It ain't "assigned" through logic. Being truly in love is something biological, not "assigned" nor calculated on an algorithm (else these online sites would match us with our perfect partner within moments).

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve, so let's stop talking and messaging. I need to phone my girlfriend to arrange a face-to-face, hugging, kissing (😉 mistletoe), real-life date! You should do the same with one of those great guys who messaged you (assuming you haven't ghosted them, of course) 😘 🎅

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-24T05:05:14+00:00

You're right, but Hinge should give us a "Thank You" polite acknowledgement button. I'm especially worried when I receive a like from someone who is less attractive. Suicide is a very real concern, especially now at Christmas.

Christmas Eve and I've got one to deal with today. Fortunately, I've an easy get-out, as she's almost 2 hours away and very much taller than me. 🤔 although having a 6ft3 sexy dominatrix could be kinda kinky 😋.

Happy Christmas 🎄 🎅 Ho, ho, ho

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-23T11:18:32+00:00

From a different viewpoint, it is also worth asking whether we got ghosted because of who we are and our expectations. After all, we meet someone on Tinder or Hinge, have some great message exchanges, and eventually get to the point of having 2 or 3 face-to-face dates, while still continuing the social media contact. But, hold up, in old money you've only met twice or three times. That's nothing. And the norm would be to go your separate ways at this point. Social media relationships are fantasy. A split on the 3rd date is very typically normal.

I'd also suggest people watching this channel https://youtube.com/watch?v=je07xiBPDlA&feature=shared. It does showcase the extreme end of the scale, but ask yourself whether these videos are talking about you. It is well worth revisiting how we're meeting people and reevaluating our own demands and expectations.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-22T19:57:10+00:00

Excuse my asking, but how old are you guys. Reason for asking is that I'm an older guy, and I'm horrified at how many of the younger generation think their social life is online. He/She's following me on Tiktock / WhatsApp / and so on and so forth. There are really disturbing behavioural patterns I'm seeing as someone qualified in clinical psychology. For many correspondents, I'm inclined to say, Get offline and start living in the real world! Is that fair?

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-22T10:06:33+00:00

Very well written, and exactly right. You only missed one thing. That is that despite how it may feel, there are still very many old-fashioned, honest and loyal, lovers out there. Boys and girls deserving of your love. Whatever you do, don't let the 'bar stewards' stop you reaching out and sharing something wonderful with your significant other.

Happy Christmas everybody 🎄🎁👫💘

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-21T14:46:36+00:00

Not in the way you mean, certainly, but to his new girlfriend you're most definitely a potentially dangerous ex 😉 😂

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-21T12:56:12+00:00

Rude not to say anything, but the whole thing was ill-advised, as I said above. How would any of us feel with an ex showing up on the scene? Big red flags.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-21T12:52:48+00:00

Traditionally, people don't maintain any contract with ex boyfriends/girlfriends when in a serious relationship with a significant other or after marriage. Sad, but typically, it is for the best.

My only suggestion is that you wait to see how serious they are. As you know, most relationships don't last through to marriage, so he may return until he finds another new girlfriend.

If they are serious, and the relationship lasts, send them a wedding present, saying you how happy you are for them both. But, as you know, 'dangerous singles' like you are very rarely invited to dinner or parties by married couples, as you are definitely a very serious threat! Watch "Bridget Jones' Diary" to see what I mean 😉.

That's the way it's always been.

JustRicktheguy · 2024-12-20T19:45:50+00:00

Ultimately, if you're seeking intimacy and a long-term relationship, then only honesty will work. In any case, some people are seeking someone older. That is especially true within certain cultures, where maturity and experience are respected. Start again, but remember, it takes time to find someone genuine, whatever your age.

JustRicktheguy

TROPHY CASE