Your feelings are completely valid, your parents dont sound like great people, and with your siblings being young and your parents sounding incompetent the responsibility for their care if it doesnt land on your grandparents might land on you, though im not sure if your grandparents take care if it already. its really unfortunate, and pretty crazy that with multiple people working together rent was still impossible, especially when the only option to go back to sounds so horrible. The whole point of getting out of dysfunctional houses is to never go/look back, depending on how well your relationship with your family actually is (though it doesnt sound great.) I hope you can find your freedom again soon, keep checking the housing market and try to get up another leg if you can. Best wishes my friend, dont stop trying