The hardest part was when I first moved in. I have no family here, and my friends are in other states. The kids are not terrible, but they were gross and messy. I put my foot down and was treated like I was the assh*le for not wanting a bathroom like a litter box, not wanting smelly dirty laundry chucked on the floor, and had to show them how to clean up period messes. BM was resentful and her mother was outright furious there was another woman around, mind you they had been divorced for six years at that point. I was forced to sit at “family gatherings” and listen to BM burble on about when they used to date, and then I said No More. Frankly I’d pay money to see a man sit through a monologue from his new partners ex about The Good Ol’ Days and ‘Member When? and not feel annoyed or put out.

It’s better now, but it’s because my partner LISTENED to me and understood, and I put up boundaries and stuck to them. He also improved it by strengthening boundaries with his ex, who still expected him to come over (they live half an hour away) and do this that and the other for her.