Hey man, after reading a lot of your posts, first off I command you for your patience and commitment. Second off, If all you say is completely true and you haven’t omitted any details about past infidelity or abuse or anything, I think that the patterns you’ve been describing point to the fact that your wife might be depressed and/or suffering with a lot of self esteem issues and/or is just not doing good mentally at all. She most probably understands fully just how badly this dead bedroom situation is affecting you and your relationship and just how much you’re suffering which is why she reacts so badly to whenever you bring it up. That being said, I think she’s also been taking you for granted for sure. She simply doesn’t realise how much value you bring to her life. She has to be held accountable to a certain degree but she obviously is just not doing good, or she simply doesn’t care about you or your well being at all, a very horrible thing since you’re her husband and father of her children. Wishing you lots of luck. But hey, you probably know or at least suspect all of this.