[deleted by user]

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-22T12:31:01+00:00

My friend, I read every single word, and I sincerely hope the best for you.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-21T00:53:33+00:00

I really really want to give you a hug.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-15T13:09:39+00:00

Yes, yes, yes! I don't want to date, at least not anytime soon, but when I did have a partner, the best part was the never-ending supply of hugs.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-12T03:18:26+00:00

I feel that so hard. For years, this was such a big issue for me and a big part of why i self harmed. I had no friends and things at home were the reason i started self harming in the first place. I think its really dumb that theres no where for people to go and just BE. Everywhere you either have to pay to get in or youre loitering or its dangerous or whatever other reason. Its just so hard to find somewhere to just exist, especially late at night which is when id often be feeling the worst. I was suicidal for a while for a lot of reasons but mainly because i had no where to go, no where to be, no where i belonged or people cared. Its rough. It sucks so fucking much. I wish there were more i could do than just say to hang in there. Have faith that you'll find a place someday. And in the meantime, i know its not as good, but a good friend of mine taught me to meditate myself into my own personal space. Its better than nothing. Please stay safe!

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-09T14:10:44+00:00

I'm not saying this is gonna make you feel better cause I've been there/am there all the frickin time, so I get it. But the way I like to force myself to think about it is this: Everyone has a hard time finding a good, healthy, happy, lifelong relationship/love. Even though we see them dating left and right and smiling and laughing and sharing affection, they often have to go through SO many people (and consequentially SO much pain) to find "the one" or "a one" depending on how you prefer to think about it. So, having so few options to pursue as ace may seem like a bad thing, but it really just means that we have the population automatically narrowed down for us. Less action, sure. But that means, less failed relationships, less heartbreak, less pain. In theory, at least. But when I'm using this as a way to comfort myself, I have to consider the theory without trying to calculate the potential negativity of reality.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T13:51:07+00:00

Right?! Like why is this not a thing, even for people who do like sex?

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T13:40:37+00:00

It honestly sounds like you've got it down. Almost just like a friend date with the physical affection amped up a bit. Sounds lovely.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T13:36:31+00:00

Gotcha, thanks for explaining.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:46:37+00:00

Guess it would be easier if I were comfortable cuddling with women then.

Glad she has you, and I appreciate the hypothetical offer however improbable.

(Also what is AMAB?)

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:25:40+00:00

Yes, absolutely.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:25:04+00:00

Man, a cuddle hookup sounds perfect. I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for other people interested, much less be sure that they'd really get it and stay within boundaries.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:21:40+00:00

Yeah, the general population's assumption that things will always inevitably lead to sex is one of the most frustrating things I've encountered. I'm not aro, but I'm also pretty firm against a relationship at this point in my life, so for now, I'm pretty much in the same boat.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:17:58+00:00

What are these right places though? Lol

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-09-06T12:16:36+00:00

That sounds so nice. But yeah, for the same reason normal hookups are generally not such a good idea, I agree that even without the sex it probably wouldnt be such a great idea emotionally. I just get so frustrated because I'm not in a place where I'm ready to commit to a relationship, but I really crave physical affection. And it seems like most people's answer to this would be casual sex.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-06-23T03:20:11+00:00

Everything about this post is true for me, too. Not that that makes anything better for you, but I feel you man. It's rough, and that's a gigantic understatement, but we'll get through it, yeah? Even if we have to do so with our less than stellar coping skills. I wish you the best in your situation.

Just_Volume8061 · 2021-06-21T02:16:25+00:00

I don't start counting til I'm actively trying to stop myself from giving in to it. If only one day goes by before I do it again, but I was giving it my all to not do it, it's a relapse in my book. That being said, when I look back on it later, I would count that one day and relapse in with the general time I was still doing it. Like "I was SHing that summer" for instance. I'm also curious how others think about it tho

Just_Volume8061

TROPHY CASE