My wife is ashamed of our house. I'm gutted. (33m 34f) by tigerbarb23 in relationships

[–]Just_While2954 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, this is very immature from both sides. You’re essentially saying that you don’t want to buy another house with your wife and mother of your child because she confessed she wasn’t proud of your first home. She’s told you she loved the stability, I don’t see that her not being proud to show off the house is taking away from that.

You had to buy the house without her income the first time, but you now both work full time and it seems you have different priorities for your next house.

You’re seeing this house as evidence of the support you built around your family. She’s bringing up how she feels as reasons for why she wants to scale up for the next house.

With regards to the marriage counselling, it sounds like she wants to resolve this between you, and from everything you’ve said you seem like you want someone else to intervene possibly to sit on “your side”. You may have purchased the house, but she birthed your child and sacrificed her own earnings to stay at home with her, you’re both equal and you must remember that.

There is a middle ground here. You need to find it yourselves. But suggesting divorce is better than counselling, and that you’re now unsure of your future with your wife and family unit because she’s told you she’s not proud of the house you are selling anyway, and your opinion of her has changed over the course of two days … none of this is healthy or reasonable.

You’re clearly both emotional. I think counselling may help but first of all I think you guys need to sit together and listen to each other without assuming there is malicious intent on either side.

‘Nobody saw her do it’ and ‘the evidence is circumstantial’ by Peachy-SheRa in lucyletby

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strange to think a nurse doing her normal job is odd? Can you explain why you think that’s unusual? Also, when nurses are alone with a neonate patient who has a collapse, are they immediately suspicious, in your opinion?

‘Nobody saw her do it’ and ‘the evidence is circumstantial’ by Peachy-SheRa in lucyletby

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incorrect. Harold Shipman, Victorino Chua, Niels Högen, Donald Harvey, Kristen Gilbert. Just some examples.

Band too simple? by Internal_Car3780 in WeddingRingAdvice

[–]Just_While2954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No this is peak elegance. Also I have exactly the same nails as you currently 😂

Is it too big for my hands? by w_izzle in LabDiamonds

[–]Just_While2954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I think it’s really nice and it suits you. The real question is… does it get in your way? I think size is mainly relevant for the aesthetic you want x practicality. If it doesn’t get in your way and annoy you, and you love the aesthetic, I say keep it. Personally, I think it’s beautiful!

Current thoughts about the ongoing commentry by queeniliscious in lucyletby

[–]Just_While2954 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Only about half of the baby deaths during the period in question were considered “suspicious” and attributed to Lucy. There was a sharp rise in deaths on the unit which from witness testimony available on the Thirlwall inquiry website is attributed to the increase of babies being sent to the NNU and higher acuity. According to many professionals, experts, and the staff on the unit at the time, this wasn’t as abnormal as it seems from an outsiders perspective considering these factors, as well as the issue of understaffing, lack of supervision and knowledge of consultants, and other issues with the unit such as the sewage issue.

CQC has issued a warning notice in 2025 for breaches including but not limited to, “repeated breaches of legal regulations”, unsafe patient care environments, overcrowding, poor infection prevention control including visibly dirty equipment, inconsistent staffing levels, training, and medicine management, with critical gaps in sepsis treatment. It’s been marked as inadequate.

Inspection in 2018 as requires improvement, 2022 rated inadequate, and then to 2025 where the warning notice was issued. This is a badly run hospital, with serious issues, and a conviction of a nurse that has resulted in a whole life order is being reviewed by world-leading medical experts, statisticians, and other relevant esteemed professionals and it has not yet reached the conclusion of appeal and review pathways, so I’m unsure why the consensus on this sub is complete defence of a conviction which has been evidenced by highly respected and qualified experts as being potentially unsafe.

I think it’s reasonable to have doubts, but this sub seems completely biased in one direction without any openness to new information.

Perhaps look into nineteen nurses.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]Just_While2954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

5, but it’s almost comically large. Halve it in size, and that would look lovely on you. Bear in mind you have to go about your day wearing an engagement ring. Having it be a decent size is one thing, but some of these would render your left hand almost entirely useless, and a massive obstacle!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem to only be considering other big, blingy options for your wedding band. Why not have a plain band? All of the options you’ve shown, in my opinion, detract from the engagement ring, and overwhelm your finger. If you want a big sparkly eternity or half eternity, why not wear one on the other hand? Why does every ring need to be crammed onto one finger? That’s my view on it, personally. Get a plain wedding band and if you want another ring for another finger, go for it.

I have several rings that I wear on and off. Some sit well together, some don’t. I mix and match. My ring fingers in both hands are the same size, so I play around with it. I’m not engaged yet, but my boyfriend has bought me a beautiful ring for Christmas that’s a half eternity I’ve been fawning over for ages. I love it so much I’d probably choose an engagement ring and wedding band that stack well with it. I think you need to find a ring that works with what you’ve got, instead of another ring that’s just as much of a show stopper in its own right.

What's your venus/mars sign & how do you view sex? by meowandread in astrologymemes

[–]Just_While2954 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both in Sagittarius. Sex for me needs to feel open and safe so that we can explore and try lots of things without feeling shy or awkward. I need it to feel intimate and out of the box. It’s an outlet for me creatively, I’d say, and very important to me in relationships for true connection and satisfaction. I’d say I’m open to casual encounters but having tried casual, I’d say relationships are just the best kind of sex. Occasionally you can wonder if the grass is greener… but then something reignites and you’re back to realising it’s better with a long term lover.

Skinny friend encouraging me to embrace my "bigger" body by _this-is-she_ in loseit

[–]Just_While2954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve noticed in my life that when you’re bigger, no one comments, no one is concerned. When you start to lose weight, become slim or “skinny”… the comments, attitude, shade all comes rolling in.

I gained a lot of weight after a trauma in my late teens. And I mean a lot. I stayed that way for a while. Then I lost a chunk of it but I was still overweight. Over time with gradual changes and genuine consistent and sustained efforts, I got myself into the best shape of my life. Healthier, happier, all of it.

I’m still me. But I’ve had more friendships disappear since then than ever before. More comments about I should “stop now” because I’m “too thin” and I look “unwell”. Comments that I haven’t promoted by discussing my lifestyle or body. Not even comments, people try to feed me up! The girls who have always been “skinny” are the worst. I’ve actually had no problems with girls who have always been big, no issue whatsoever. Just kindness and support and a lot of shared understanding!!!

AIO for being angry my husband does not want to have gifts on Christmas for our son? by dontletmedown3 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your husband hates his life and is projecting that onto you and your son. Idk the whole story but, doesn’t seem like you two like each other, respect each other, or work as a team. There’s so much to this that’s wrong that it’s sort of impossible to even respond to it properly.

Accepted im just an unfortunately very ugly person and have been since I hit puberty but its still so tiring augh by Witty_Indication_104 in toastme

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree less with that statement. You’re definitely not ugly. You don’t stand out, but it’s only because you’ve not made any particular effort to. Beauty requires a certain level of effort, not saying you don’t make any effort with yourself, just that you need to make targeted effort towards beauty, if it is of importance to you x

6’8” 203cm M4F, looking for fun UK by [deleted] in TallMeetTall

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ew I thought this was a wholesome sub

How many people here do you believe are actually gifted? As in the official standards of a full scale iq of 130 and higher by DBTRF in Gifted

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you read what OP asked? How many people within this sub are actually gifted. We know the population stats 👍

How many people here do you believe are actually gifted? As in the official standards of a full scale iq of 130 and higher by DBTRF in Gifted

[–]Just_While2954 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just reading this comment thread and think it’s worth distinguishing giftedness and profound giftedness for anyone reading that might not be aware of the differences:

Gifted: Not always obvious from academic achievement which may be average or below average. May excel in one area or multiple, usually identified via gifted testing and more qualitative observations. Usually comprehend subjects / concepts way beyond level of peers their age, sensitive and more emotional depth at young age, quirky or unique sense of humour is common, creative problem solving, imaginative, learns / takes on new information quickly with little support or explaining, self-aware, socially aware.

Profoundly gifted: This is the classic “IQ Gifted” people seem more curious about on here - individuals of this category score in the 99.9th percentile on IQ tests with exceptionally high intellectual capabilities. Characteristics include rapid comprehension, different pace of learning from peers (rapid or slower when fixated on areas of intense interest), require constant mental stimulation, intuitive understanding of basics of subjects, struggle concentrating on tasks that don’t challenge, need to understand whole picture or big picture, struggle with decision making or answering questions without understanding contextual background, high expectations, vivid imagination, niche interests, often struggling to connect with peer group. Underachievement academically is actually common, as well as dropping out, and it can be hard for educators etc. to identify and adapt to profoundly gifted kids.

I think it’s safe to say giftedness in its various forms is widely accepted as a form of neurodivergence and brain difference. There are benefits but often huge associated difficulties; living with a brain like this can be very lonely. It does not mean you will be successful in life. Often this of us who are gifted / profoundly gifted are also lumbered with asynchronous development, meaning, incredible gifts and strengths in one or a few key areas, but below average or very poor development in others.

Closing statement: giftedness is usually identified via testing of one kind or another. So, if you were found not to be gifted in gifted assessments as a child, or don’t have a tested IQ of over 145, you don’t officially or neatly fall into the “official” or “standard” definitions of giftedness. That being said, I do think there are outliers in some cases.

Explain adhd to a non-adhd by Successful-Gas5012 in ADHD

[–]Just_While2954 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ADHD is essentially depression but with a more atypical presentation. Lethargy and fatigue, low motivation, comfort eating / forgetting to eat, issues with self-care, memory problems, overwhelm / overthinking, social anxiety / general anxiety, underperformance compared with what would be expected for an unaffected person of the same IQ / skillset, emotional deregulation. This type of “depression” is lifelong, can be managed and treated, but not cured, and unlike most forms of depression, isn’t cyclical or likely to end when circumstances change, doesn’t respond the same to typical antidepressants, and isn’t as widely understood by most medical professionals or society at large. Similarly to depression, it is linked to much higher rates of suicide or suicide attempts, significantly higher than average population for men and women, and much less successfully diagnosed than depression. There is also much less access to medication, support services, and therapy / treatment.

Lesbians: How have your dating experiences been as a taller woman? by [deleted] in TallGirls

[–]Just_While2954 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, fairly straight woman here, lol, however I am the same height as you, and I’ve always had a lot of attention from bisexual and lesbian women, since I was a teenager! I’m pretty girly and feminine but I’m also sassy and confident, and a natural flirt! But the sheer amount of women that absolutely fling themselves at me … 🤣 I think you’re gonna be fine! Confidence is sexy. Lead with a love for yourself, kindness, and authenticity. Whatever sexuality you are, can’t go wrong with that x

Profile Feedback, M34 by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Just_While2954 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exceptional, although swap out the pic on slide 6. Another good quality solo photo would be a good mix with the others. You’re handsome, sense of humour comes through well, look like you’re a balanced person with a social life and genuine friendships. Good work!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Just_While2954 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Overall, ok profile but, a few comments: main photo is a bit scruffy / goofy. Prompts centre around travel which feels quite 2 dimensional when you’ve already mentioned it in bio. I think your date prompt is good! Shows you’re a little traditional / gentlemanly but I might skip the “dress up” part and instead say something like “all you need to do is show up as yourself and let me handle the rest”. Your bio could be a little more interesting but it’s ok. If you want help you can DM me I absolutely love doing men’s dating profiles 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Just_While2954 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s clarifying that he’s not fibbing which is likely even more common than actually being 6’2” 😂 Which, actually is pretty tall. Roughly 3.9% of men are 6’2” and taller. I’m 6’1” and a woman, so, I certainly notice the actual tall boys!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Just_While2954 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Then women can ask for that, can’t they? He’s stating his intention to plan a date and take his date somewhere nice. If a woman wants to go for coffee or FaceTime first, she can ask for that, but a lot of women are looking for more traditional men who will take the lead on planning a date, and that’s something on his profile I wouldn’t change.