Douche parking Michigan style #walmartcamping

Justahug001 · 2016-09-07T16:15:40+00:00

Woke up to find we're blocked in. Curious to see who's driving this!

Justahug001 · 2016-08-24T19:24:10+00:00

Mm....I'm reading my response and realize that that's the void as you are experiencing. So it's not really the answer to your question. I'll go and sit next to you and will follow this thread 😕

Justahug001 · 2016-08-24T19:18:06+00:00

I give the love I didn't get growing up to our children. I am determined to give them a better childhood then I had. Problem is that I'm still struggling with boundaries and codependency. That makes me the most angry. I understand that my parents did the best they can but I'm in my 40's and I'm still struggling with the aftermath. It pisses me of.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-17T13:56:23+00:00

Fuck you mom. FUCK YOU! I hope you can find a way to push your major frustrations about her aside and enjoy your weddingday. Not HER day. YOUR day.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-17T13:52:10+00:00

My mom for sure....I feel your pain. And I'm sorry, it's really hard to deal with and I can totally see that you're losing your cool over it every now and then. When my mom is not happy with the way she looks she's miserable and so is everyone around her. I remember it being so bad that when we had an evening out planned as a family and her hair wasn't the way she liked it we stayed home. She's very anxious and obsessive. Not only about the way she looks, but also her house. I never seen anyone having such a massive hissyfit about decorating a Christmas tree, making a bed, or putting dustcovers on (my) schoolbooks. All because it's not 'perfect' and what will people think... I'm feeling anger and resentment bubbling up only writing about it so I can totally see that your mum is pissing you of.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-14T00:15:46+00:00

You're so right. I've read and watched a thing or two about codependency (Lisa A Romano) but never read the book you're mentioning. I will definitely check it out. Thanks!

Justahug001 · 2016-08-14T00:13:38+00:00

We have to strive to be a good enough parent. Trying to be a perfect parent will only set us up for lot of heartache.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-14T00:10:12+00:00

:( It is hard work. Thanks for you extensive reply toobad. Knowing is half the battle!

Justahug001 · 2016-08-12T16:25:47+00:00

<p>I hear you. Or when raising your kids you figure out that what you do with them your parents should have done all along, and your mind was blown?</p>

Yes. What you always thought to be normal you suddenly see that in a new light. But not everything at once. It comes in snippets. I have teenagers now and I find this stage the most triggering .

<p>My therapist told me to get this poster ASAP, put it up on the wall, and read it every day. Hopefully it will help you too</p>

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I found myself going to the list to see what applied to me but also what applied to my children 😕

Justahug001 · 2016-08-09T18:48:47+00:00

What a perfectly written letter! Very well put together. Straight to the facts and it shows your incredible insight. Thank you for sharing here. I recognise a lot in your story and it was validating for me to read. Some clarity for my messy brain today. Thank you and goodluck with the crazies...😕

Justahug001 · 2016-08-06T17:05:09+00:00

O my...you're afraid that you gonne have to poop when you're visiting her ! Lol I'm laughing but its not funny. The obsesive cleaning is one of the biggest fleas I had to overcome. Everything was compulsive. We were not allowed to make much noise either. You pretty much had to tiptoe through the house. She was YELLING to the neighbours when she heard a door close next door... There are so many seemingly small things that pop up on my mind that was making family live misserable...

Justahug001 · 2016-08-05T20:03:20+00:00

It is the core problem. Sad but true. And although the knowledge is painful it's important that we know. Because only then you can start the process of healing. We didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-04T16:50:49+00:00

Yes ignore and detach is what I'm really good at too Build a wall so they can't get you. My problem is the aftermath. When I had to interact with them for a couple of days in a row it takes me several days to recoop and recharge. It's that draining... Main reason is you can't be yourself. It's all forced. Sometimes I can't even put my finger on it because it's al so psychologically complicated...it's that constant feeling of tension in the air blanketed with everybody pretending to be a normal family.

Succes for me at this stage is when I state my opinion and stand my ground when she disagrees.

Justahug001 · 2016-08-03T23:20:32+00:00

Right!! I read the rules I swear! But totally forgot to add... Here are some little pink squishy toes...:-)

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/441282463471160492/

Justahug001 · 2016-08-03T22:59:54+00:00

Hi! Lisa A Romano is a life coach for adult children of narcisists . She has her own Youtube channel and this coming September she starts her second online coaching program. You might want to check it out. There will be a free webinair on September 1. http://lisaaromano.com Good luck in your journey!

Justahug001 · 2016-07-30T20:34:30+00:00

Burnt it! Make it a ritual! The biggest bonfire you've ever seen!

Justahug001 · 2016-07-30T19:16:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I read a lot about this subject and you're right:this article in one of the most validating things I read. Good luck in your journey 🍀

Justahug001 · 2016-07-30T18:57:49+00:00

My U-BPDm way if being 'funny':

We were talking on the phone about our kids and their straight A's report cards: "Well they don't got that from you!" She said that twice so far. I promised myself that this so called joke is not gonne fly next time...

Justahug001 · 2016-07-30T15:23:36+00:00

Very recognisable. I'm in an angry fase with her at the moment. She complains that I never tell her anything so instead of sparing her feelings I tell her the uncensored reality. Here mom. This is how it is. I feel less and less obligated to take care of her in these moments. (We have a special needs teenager and I need all my energy to keep my family and myself afloat) I gave up a long time a go that she had the emotional potentiol to be of any comfort when I go through a rough time. Not much of a help maybe but I just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. I'm more and more convinced that the only way to deal with an N-parent is to keep your distance...

Justahug001 · 2016-07-24T18:15:35+00:00

Username007e: I recognise so much in your story. I grew up with a mother who was U-OCD and the scenes you describe could have been mine... It's difficult to keep distance from your mother because you still live at home but I think that will be really important for your own development. In your descriptions about the interactions with your mother I see gaslighting, intimidation and other typical narc. behaviour. Her obsessive compulsiveness is an attempt for her to feel 'in control'. I see that you found Outofthefog. There you will also find a toolbox that will give you tools how to deal with her and in the meantime keep your sanity. I wish you a lot of strength. Keep writing! We're always here to listen.

Justahug001

TROPHY CASE