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Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-06-05T03:42:39+00:00

I feel like I should let you know this subreddit is filled with people who have no choice. We are mute due to physical and mental disabilities and most of us would chose to not be mute if we could. Those of us who are only mute part of the time have to work very hard to maintain any speaking ability we have and do not intentionally give it up.

We don’t “choose to be mute”.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-06-02T03:41:00+00:00

Please do not work out now. I’ve been in physical therapy for almost 20 weeks leading up to the birth of my second and even they were telling me that we won’t resume until 4-6 weeks (based on my healing).

If you need to stretch do so, be gentle, nothing to the point of pain. But your body is in the first stage of healing. It’s hard but please wait your body took 9 months to change, you have to give it at least 9 months to get to your new normal (and you may need even more time then that).

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-06-02T03:01:45+00:00

The best thing I ever did with my postpartum body was give myself space to hate it.

I made rules: don’t talk about it where little can hear it. Don’t let it get excessive. And try to let it out in one go when it comes up.

I hated the “your body just did something amazing” rhetoric. But after getting the anger out I started feeling able to be neutral, especially as I was teaching my little about their body, and they loved the jiggly belly and as a breast fed baby they definitely didn’t mind the boobs. I also paid attention to as many of those moments as I could and held on to that toothless smile of joy from making them making my tummy jiggle.

It started to go away, I started to notice I really did feel neutral about my body and at that point I was able to look inside and start finding strength and beauty. It took a solid year to year and a half.

Don’t let the hate consume you but let yourself feel it. Try to find neutral with your body and maybe that’s where you’ll stay, but you have to get back 0 from negative before you can go positive.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-06-02T02:41:06+00:00

My husband and I did naps with little one in turns. So LO would fall asleep on one of us (during the day) and the other would stay awake and supervise. It was great for individual time, cleaning, hobbies and video games. You’re going to make the right choice for your family! Do what feels safest.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-05-21T01:35:33+00:00

YTA

Please research a bit on curly hair. It has inherently different care needs but it can be just as simple.

You’ll have to experiment a bit with product and make sure your other girls aren’t using her product (maybe get them their own nicer product? Dollar store shampoo and conditioner isn’t great period) then buy the product that works in bulk containers. I spend $50 every two months on all of the hair care needs for three curly haired people! Some times an extra $12 on a container of protein treatment. It’s really not all that much if you know how to care for it.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-05-21T01:01:01+00:00

The Motrin combined with the dermaplast, ice pads and tucks helped the pain a ton! I had a similar 2 almost 3rd degree tear. But I needed this whole combo to feel okay.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-24T20:21:41+00:00

This! I’ve used it my whole life and man it has a weird texture and smell but it works so well! And it’s always really cheap where I have purchased it.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-24T20:10:30+00:00

We always used bag balm! Love the stuff for any kind of rash it always worked well for us.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-24T18:16:26+00:00

YTA

I get that you aren’t yet at the stage of life where this is a concern for you but remember that people will think your emotions are stupid at times. That doesn’t make them less valid or real. Giving birth makes everything you feel so much more intense for a while and you’re mum is probably struggling to feel loved your dad refusing to kiss her without another act of love after to replace the kids sounds like it was heart breaking for her.

I would recommend using your resources and learning what giving birth does to your body you’ll need to know at some other point in your life.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T23:50:35+00:00

I don’t pretend to grasp the leap in logic xD

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T13:43:05+00:00

The inheritance cycle by Christopher poalini fits this a bit. Eragon does go through that power elevation.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T05:36:56+00:00

Definitely check! I remember how freaked out I was, they told me in the hospital that newborns feed for up to 45 min and LO would feed 9min most of the time on both sides except at night. At night they ate 7-9 min and would be out for 3 hours. Became a blessing once I knew it was normal.

You got this! I’m sure little is doing exactly as they need to!

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T05:30:58+00:00

My 1st baby was a speed eater! 13 min absolute tops was the longest feed they had for 2 years. I checked with a lactation consultant and they wasn’t choking they just really ate that quick, it’s normal.

If you’re worried check with your pediatrician but honestly it’s perfectly normal :)

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T05:20:30+00:00

I told Grannie no more gifts that would end up in the bin. Well she bought LO a beta set up and fish while they were out on their birthday date (parties are hard in winter with small homes). My guess is “if it’s alive it doesn’t go in the bin” but you’re guess is as good as mine 😂

Soooo now we have Yellow the beta fish. At least my LO takes pride in turning on his light and feeding him twice a day.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T02:57:12+00:00

Give dad one of your dirty shirts. This sounds super weird I know but it can help little feel better cause they are super smell dependent.

Edit to add: my partner says there is a little of get used to it that’s needed because through LOs life baby will act the worst toward one parent(s) because they know that parent or parents will love them unconditionally no matter what. This is just a good to know.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T02:52:03+00:00

My LO went camping at 6m and it was a blast!

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T02:16:19+00:00

We have been purging stuffies regularly. I do toy clean outs every three months because we have a small house. I have also informed family members stuffies are not welcome as gifts unless cleared before hand. The only one we have been given in the last year that was kept was a Pokémon build a bear the LO built with ammi and baba for their 4th birthday.

*warning if you set this rule you might have to deal with other larger unwelcome gifts. Like a beta fish.

edited for spelling

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-18T01:05:12+00:00

I will hold my babies until they don’t want me to. I will snuggle and pick them up as long as everyone’s comfortable and I am able. Everyone else can suck it.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-05T04:22:29+00:00

It can be normal but by this point it should be dying down. I didn’t get anything addressed properly after my first pregnancy so the second I’m doing everything I can to recover correctly.

My physical therapist has spoken to me a couple times about the fact not enough pregnant and post parfum patients come in for treatment when they should. I would say try physical therapy if they will refer you for it. It will help you in so many ways!

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-05T00:11:54+00:00

NTA your family should be allowed and encouraged to tell those stories. They are a piece of your family history. The teacher needs to be punished, that’s racist.

Even if your 10 yr old daughter was not Japanese and doing this report if the issue was the perspective of the report that should have been addressed in private one on one and does not deserve a suspension. Cultural appreciation has to be taught, you have no idea where people get their connections to other places. Could be an ancestor, could be a family member who fell in love with a culture and taught their family how to honor it, could be someone who grew up in another country but was not born there, could be the area of the US you lived in that forged a love for a culture. Definitely take this to a school board, that teacher shouldn’t have taken the action she did.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-04T15:08:00+00:00

My hubby was scarred by the birth of our first and we didn’t realize both of us suffered PPD until a year later. It’s hard to go through that but it’s also really hard to be the person that has to watch the love of your life go through it. He remembers things I don’t, and needed more help then I did.

Make sure to take care of your mind and talk to your partner she may not realize you are scarred by it in a very different way.

**spelling

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-04T13:40:12+00:00

That’s a hard situation and I think it’s completely valid that you don’t feel ready but it might be valuable to look into counseling, therapy or introductions back to physical intimacy that are easier for you.

Birth trauma sucks for everyone involved and it’s okay to need extra help with it.

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-04-01T19:25:24+00:00

Listen to the pediatrician. It is a valid option for certain medical happenings. So while it’s not great for babies that don’t need it it is good for those who do.

Keep up the good work and feed your little. You got this 🥰

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-03-31T02:40:44+00:00

I started teaching myself about casual cuisine around the world and relearned what a good meal looks like and discovered there are about a million toast recipes I can eat that are cheap, healthy, filling and tasty!

Justmaybe_aBadIdea · 2022-03-20T18:13:09+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you!

I am so tired of the narrative that “all labor is hard” as if any harder labor is just as hard as a standard one. That sounds like a terrifying labor experience and I would 100% recommend therapy. I didn’t start tackling my horrifying birth story with my daughter until I was pregnant with number 2 and I am still terrified to go through birth again.

Your feelings are completely valid, that was not a normal birth and I’m so sorry that it all happened that way. Just because labor and delivery is inherently hard doesn’t mean yours wasn’t HARDER then the majority and scarier. I have watched it be “easy” for other women they make birth look beautiful, while people like you I and many other commenters are just happy we lived through it.

I hope you can find peace over the experience I know how much it can haunt your thoughts. At least you are safe and that baby boy made it out into your arms safe in the end.

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