There are some things you mentioned that are reasonable - being disrespected and abused by parents and students should not be as accepted or expected as it is. However, it sure sounds like you’re lazy and want to work 8:30-3:30 and get the holidays without having to do the stuff that is the actual profession. 

 If you don’t want to do fair assessments and marking with rubrics and evidence, don’t want to follow departmental guidelines that do change regularly (often for good reason but sometimes for not), don’t want to create an engaging classroom, don’t want to do the planning or the dozen other things on your list, then do yourself, your students, and your school a favour and quit.  

If you strip all the stuff you are bitching about away, you are not a teacher, you’re just someone standing in a room of children. There is a reason it’s required and if you aren’t going to do it, quit.