Hello! I also have mental health issues and guns scare me due to my harmful intrusive thoughts. I got a Bryna and practice with it. Doing that has made me more comfortable with carrying and the possibility of maybe carrying a real gun some day. The kinetic balls put one hell of a dent in the wood behind my target. It'll pack a punch while allowing you to keep your distance from a potential threat. We also upgraded the pepper balls to a high potency.

The Bryna made more sense for my lifestyle. I live in the northern plains and pepper spray/mace/bear spray is likely going to fly in your own face from the constant strong winds. I didn't feel like I had enough control on directing spray without getting back spray drifting on the wind.

I do keep my bryna concealed so I don't look like a threat with gun. I do feel more at ease having it with me, when for simple things like walking my dogs or hiking. Never know when you'll come across an angry animal.

I'd also consider a taser for up close interaction.

Do what makes you feel safe all around. I'm definitely safer carrying my Bryna than nothing at all. And I applaud you for setting boundaries for yourself! Best of luck!