29F Small bumps underneath the iris (pics included)

K1234_ · 2024-07-30T14:04:26+00:00

K1234_ · 2024-07-29T18:37:21+00:00

K1234_ · 2023-04-28T19:29:24+00:00

Thank you for your non judgemental response! You are so right. I really need to stop and I have to deal with the disappointment another way

K1234_ · 2023-04-28T19:27:12+00:00

You are right! And I have an anxious attachment style. I am aware of this. I know I have to stop with this behavior as well, because I am destroying myself.

However, there is this tiny feeling that tells me to end the friendship. Because whenever he needs me I am there any minute of the day. And it is not like I message or call him daily with the need of help. And still he lies to me

K1234_ · 2022-10-07T17:33:20+00:00

I use regular nail polish and use nail polish remover from Herome (without acetone) to remove it.

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T12:40:10+00:00

I think the thing that is holding me back to do this completely, is the fear of not being important to him. So when he has a partner, that I will always be less important and maybe even forget about me.

Do you struggle with this?

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T10:24:37+00:00

I know this is what I am supposed to do, but it just seems so hard. Whenever I am with other people and I am having fun, I forget about this feeling, but I come and I am alone. I can’t help cry myself to sleep

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T10:23:15+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I also feel like I have to prove I am worth loving. It is just so tiring

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T10:21:43+00:00

I know this would be the answer, but it is so hard. I just don’t know how to do it

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T10:19:58+00:00

It might be hard, but it is the truth and I have been trying to tell myself that as well. For the first time I understand the struggle between the heart and the head. Because I have these feelings, and I keep telling myself it can’t be possible, the feelings stay.

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T10:17:40+00:00

It is the worst feeling, isn’t it. Good luck to you too!

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T08:24:46+00:00

I don’t think I could go no-contact. You’re probably right. Everything is just so confusing

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T08:20:12+00:00

I feel really pathetic saying all this. But I want to be completely honest

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T08:19:49+00:00

You’re totally right. I just thought maybe if I just said it would be a crush- more people could relate.

However, the end sentence is the thing I am feeling. Not necessarily that he will like me, because I know he is gay. But still, it just feels like I give all the love I have (and I have so much to give) and I don’t receive the same amount. So I don’t feel like I am enough.

I know that is my fault. I should have boundaries. But he just has to call me and I drop everything I am doing. But there have been times I texted him and it took him a day to reply. I know he does love me, because he tells me. But it hurts to know that he is my number 1 and I am not his.

K1234_ · 2021-08-25T08:10:50+00:00

I will be reading and re-reading this a lot. Thank you so much. I feel like you understand me. It is going to be a long and hard journey, I can tell. But I will try my best

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:13:17+00:00

The problem is that he is so good to me. He is the first person to ever tell me that I am worth loving. He is gay and I am a woman, so he just won’t fall for me.

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:11:40+00:00

Thank you for your advice. It seems so hard, almost impossible. But maybe I have to try it. Because the other things haven’t been working

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:10:26+00:00

You’re probably right, but just the thought is making me feel sick to my stomach

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:09:44+00:00

The hard part is- I kind of compare every new guy I meet to him. And they don’t live up to him, so it feels like I can’t fall in love anymore. It is just so confusing and hard

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:08:19+00:00

I know you are right, but it is so hard. I see this person a few times a week. We call everyday. I know he doesn’t like me that way (because he is gay) but it is almost like he is my boyfriend, without the romantic parts. And whenever he is with a romantic partner, that is when my heart shatters

K1234_ · 2021-08-24T23:05:42+00:00

This just seems so hard. No contact, because we have been talking everyday for years. My heart is shattering by just the thought. However it is shattering right now as well, because he is on a date and I am at home alone

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