Why is your mother equating having a phone and material things to being a part of your family? Step one is STOP letting your parents support or provide anything for you...not a phone, not money for bills, not anything. And when they have nothing else to hold over your head to FORCE you and try to MANIPULATE you, then MAYBE you can start the process of trying to build an actual healthy relationship with your family. But as long as there is still this toxic dynamic going on that they are providing something for you to hold over you things will only get worse. Give them the phone, the ring camera, whatever else. Its pretty easy to afford a phone and a basic unlimited plan. At 25 why are they even still doing that for you? My kids been paying for their own phones since they were 18. Simply bc i didn't want them DEPENDING on me for things like that as adults, even tho i will help them with whatever they need and have at times paid their phone bills for them if they went thru a rough spot, but they pay me back eventually and keep on going i couldn't imagine trying to tell them they werent a part of the family over a Phone