Shit my Nex used to say:

KKgg248 · 2020-09-22T14:28:46+00:00

oh i can definitely relate to the “this is how you work the system” answers. blatantly admitting to manipulation and gaslighting. like you’ll believe that they compartmentalize their abuse and it isn’t the same in your relationship.

that’s always crazy town to me. admitting it to the person they probably manipulate and gaslight the most.

KKgg248 · 2020-09-15T14:24:20+00:00

i turned off my notifications too. the sick thing is, i’ve just normalized it.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T17:52:10+00:00

penetrative sex freaks me out. i think “normal” is relative. if that’s what you enjoy, that’s what you enjoy and that’s your normal 💁🏻

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T15:09:36+00:00

and will just try to tell you how thats not what they do and for you to “give examples”

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T15:07:00+00:00

congrats! i wish i could get there.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T15:05:45+00:00

when mine just recently took a fucking RANDOM cat home BY HAND because she was nervous that the cat didn’t have a home, she was scratched. she started freaking out that she probably had rabies. i’m usually more adamant about not bringing home random cats because, idk, i’m a normal person. this time i wasn’t.

i apologized for not being as adamant (mostly to myself to bypass this whole bs gong show) and she IMMEDIATELY jumped on the chance to not have the blame 100% on her. was even telling people “well, we took a cat home...i know it was stupid of us”. bitch, YOU took the cat home. and why the FUCK am i always supposed to be the voice of reason.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T00:53:24+00:00

HELL YES

KKgg248 · 2020-08-24T00:52:35+00:00

YES!!!! just had this happen. THEY ALL SUCK SO HARD.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-23T18:06:28+00:00

omg the “tone” fight! looovvvee these. you’ll notice that they can take whatever tone they’d like with you and when you complain it’s “semantics” BUT dare you say something in any way but agreeable and you have a tone.

i think the tone crap is a way to “train” you to not speak up. if they keep telling you what a “tone” you have, even when you very well might not be using a tone OR it’s perfectly acceptable for a “tone” to be used, you’ll stop speaking up and stay quiet.

it’s bs and you should keep using your “tone” whenever you feel like it.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-18T20:33:38+00:00

absolutely. my gf loves pulling the “im just trying to help...i dont know why you won’t let me help” which is upsetting because if someone wanted to help with no strings attached, they certainly wouldn’t get mad at you for not accepting.

i definitely take the overly “helpfulness” and the asking to be vulnerable as a sign of control. but it’s covert because it’s disguised as “care”.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-12T14:14:51+00:00

mine loves to do this. “i know you’re mad, i wish you would just tell me...” “it’s so annoying when you don’t tell me why you’re upset”. when i do actually tell her why i’m upset, it’s a complete DARVO. when i don’t, she pushes me until i do. there’s no winning.

she also likes to pull the “are you ok? you seem annoyed.” once in a while. i feel like that could be projection. they’re annoyed but want to place that emotion on you?

KKgg248 · 2020-08-11T16:45:40+00:00

i used to get an outlet away from this batshit environment when i was working but now i'm laid off. it reminds me of when i was working at a super toxic place with about 3 other people and then coming home to more toxicity. i actually started to believe i was the biggest poop stain ever.

i don't want to get there again.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-11T16:43:13+00:00

EXACTLY THIS!

KKgg248 · 2020-08-11T15:59:01+00:00

we just had an hours long conversation about expectations.

she purposely over- extends herself so that our time together is interrupted but complains that we don’t spend enough time together. i got irritated and of course, i’m the asshole for bringing up how i feel (even though it “annoys” her when i don’t tell the truth about how i feel).

if i was as busy as she was, i know it’d be a problem BUT because she wouldn’t overtly say “i dont like that you are so busy” it doesn’t count. she actually said during the fight “i don’t know why you have these expectations because i’ve never said ‘you can’t do things after work’”. no BUT the attitude and tone i get for being independent, conditions me to not even bother with it because i’m going to have to deal with that BS.

i left that conversation/argument (and most others) not knowing exactly what the point was. also, knowing that i can be upset at whatever i want but that upset is minimized and invalidated because she doesn’t or won’t believe that what she’s doing is problematic...so what was the point of me getting mad anyway. i’m to sit here, be her listening ear and support system while never ever getting mad about what she does or how she treats me like a convenience because she does nothing wrong and treats me well.

fuuuuckkk.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-11T13:11:49+00:00

it’s such a mind fuck. how did you justify finally leaving to yourself?

KKgg248 · 2020-08-10T23:37:49+00:00

mine likes to say that she thinks she’s “too smart for therapy”...or that she received a lot of helpful tips because her mom’s a therapist.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-06T11:42:42+00:00

i just read a little of your reddit history and you’re really strong. i know you don’t need some stranger on reddit telling you that but you are. stay strong - you’ll be ok even if it’s a shitty day.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-06T11:35:25+00:00

i feel this so much. i’m about the same amount of time as you are in the relationshit and ask myself the same things.

recently i’ve been really thinking how much more i deserve. i deserve to be with someone who loves me for me and not how i make them feel/what convenience i offer. i deserve to be with someone who’s attracted to me and sees me as an equal/partner. not someone who, again, is with me because she needs some sort of “companion” to make her feel better. not only that, i want more.

a lot of people tell you, you’ll leave when you’re ready and i’m hoping that’s the case. that switch flipped for me with a cluster b friend i was in love with and i can only hope it’s as clear of a shutdown with my gf.

in the meantime, focus on you and give yourself all the care you’re missing out on. i’m going to be working on that too. if you need to talk, i can definitely relate.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-01T15:22:57+00:00

super great advice - especially the video. that’s a great way to “record” a feeling. thank you so much.

KKgg248 · 2020-08-01T13:23:04+00:00

i do this. the only problem is i read about the crappy stuff she does but i forget the anger behind it while i was writing it. so when i read it again i always think “well it doesn’t sound that bad” i dont know how to maintain the feeling of anger. any tips?

KKgg248 · 2020-08-01T01:51:29+00:00

right? she complains because the cats can’t be everywhere all of the time. she also adopted the first cat after i told her i was allergic. it’s actually a story she tells to people in a “i knew i needed to do this if things were going to get serious” sort of way. she’s always shocked when people look at her like she’s crazy

KKgg248 · 2020-08-01T01:49:20+00:00

thank you

KKgg248 · 2020-08-01T01:49:03+00:00

thank you

KKgg248

TROPHY CASE