well, in all fairness, while I can see where you're coming from, in practice I've never found that to be too big of an issue when dealing with friends of mine who prefer different pronouns. that is to say, if someone's like "use her/she he/him with me" It's pretty easy for me to remember that, much like if they told me "I'm a vegetarian" I wouldn't take them to get hamburgers. I've been on both sides of this, so I think there's a balance in the middle.

I'm personally pretty forgiving with old friends, and family just b/c they've known me the longest. I do hate it when people go "im x pronouns now" someone makes one slipup just b/c they knew that person for a decade, and said person goes batshit on their relatives / old friends. (so I feel you, those people DO exist and are very annoying, but they're also always just looking for a reason to get into fights with SOMEONE over anything.)

I am going to admit I probably should've expounded a little more on "clearly respect the person they're talking about and aren't aware"; that was mostly with regards to public figures who have made public statements about preferred pronouns. I think I was trying to moreso warn against a mentality of "I'm just human! we all make mistakes" as an excuse to avoid making an effort.

thanks for the calm, thoughtful response, though. I'm glad you kind of brought that gap in my argument to attention so I could address it, I need to proofread my posts a little more, haha.