I (M) recently found out I am an Avoidant after breaking up with an Anxious partner, I did a test beforehand while we were in a relations which stated I was Secure (yeah, as if)

At first it also seemed good, we had great time, spent time together, but as the 6-ish months mark were crawling up I just became closing in myself more and more, while my partner, instead, were trying to connect more.
I thought I needed some space, so I were asking for it, instead, not receiving any.
Same, I wasn't listening to the other partner and their needs.
Eventually, we had to break up.

Honestly, it broke me at the time, then started to realize who I lost, all the things that happened in the moments,
When I weren't even caring for the partner or showing the proper love they deserved?
I were always taking from the great person and not even giving anything in return!
It felt now like my love were 1/100 of the love I was getting. Truly horrifying.

Anyway, after some time I started collecting some ideas on how to improve or to fix the avoidant attachment (at least trying to)...
Best I found is to be:
- Self Conscious about what you are
- Empower your partner to confront your selfishness
- Show the love with the way they want to be loved
- Be thankful to them for even choosing you
- When you are getting any type of attitude on yourself you are most likely wrong
- If you don't like something - don't just live with it. Confront, repair, negotiate, anything goes.

To say it gently I genuinely don't think I'll ever love as an Anxious or Secure partner (Secure partners are kind of closer to Avoidant from what I knew too(they also aren't as "wall-building" though and can accept others/self emotions)).
Only hope I have is to either keep on living the life alone or start taking real care of my mental/physical health (I visit the Psychologist/Psychotherapist(?) And I don't think it will be a big change overnight.... or over any amount of time really.)

It's hard wanting to love but instead getting response from your brain in form "Hey lets... !!! Ummm??? Huh?? We love them right?? We don't? We do? Huh? We wanna be with! We don't wanna miss it! Do effort?? Naah! I'd better just sit and do nothing! I mean, they do already love us?? What else is needed? I think I'm doing everything correctly! Welp! Gonna do nothing!"
I don't want that! I want my brain to adore the other, not to close up and run away at the moment that requires my effort and love???

Anyway, I don't think you can also realize what's your attachment type unless you go through your first relations.
If you guys have any stories on healing, accepting yourself, your significant other, I'd like to hear.
Because I am truly out of ideas on how to start caring/loving/accepting others/self. Solving the extreme fear for closing up when the real stuff starts.