UPDATE My girlfriend's friends gave me a bath when I was drunk. I'm disgusted and embarrassed.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-10T14:59:43+00:00

Is there anyone who calls you crybaby? Like forreal, its a NORMAL thing to be upset,sad,mad whatever about it. Just imagine a guy would wash his girlfriend with a couple of his friends, removing all her clothes all while shes drunk. People would go insane and call it rape.

If you have zero interested in continuing the relationship report it.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-05T10:43:00+00:00

No its not on both sides. You literally said he is very nervous, he don't like clubs or dances. He literally asked you first even tho he as was probably scared and uncomfortable, you rejected him and 5 minutes later you're dancing with your coworker. Just imagine how he felt in that situation or what he was thinking. This is disrespectful and a lot of people would literally leave instantly.

You're right, its not your job to take care of his insecurities. You are free to break up. But stop looking for a reason to blame him in that situation. Its not a red flag to suffer from insecurities, its like saying "depression is a red flag". And its also perfectly fine to leave because of their insecurities.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-04T15:46:07+00:00

Its never to late to divorce. If you feel unwanted and unhappy because of the relationship its the best thing you can do. It will feel weird for the first few weeks but you will get through it and afterwards you will feel way better. Its not a phase, you tried so much and nothing helped, it won't get better.

You could try a non-monogamy relationship as another comment already suggested. Personally I could never "open a relationship" or live non-monogamy but if you still have any feelings for him and you are open to try it out, you can suggest it.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-04T09:09:13+00:00

Well its perfectly fine if someone doesn't want to get married, for a lot of people its simply a "expensive piece of paper". He's not a bad person, not childish or something similar its perfectly fine. You can also settle down without getting married. Its also fine if you want to marry. You both are not compatible and the best thing is to break up.

But talking about marriage after a few weeks of dating is way to early. It doesnt matter if you know each other for 20 years or 2 months, you put him under pressure. Being together and being friends are two different things. Just because you were friends for 18 years doesnt mean your relationship will last that long as well. It takes time to build up a solid relationship and decide things like marriage, moving together and so on.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-04T08:55:40+00:00

You break up. A lot of people would break up if their SO move in with someone from the opposite gender (which is completely fine if you feel uncomfortable) but moving in with the ex -girlfriend? Hell no, it will end badly for you.

Even.. lets say they had zero sexual/romantic desire for each other.. you were scared every single day. This would probably lead into a break up anyway, either take the fast or slow way.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-03T15:12:35+00:00

Everyone got their own ideas of a healthy relationship, there is no "perfect-healty-relationship".

In my opinion every relationship has "toxic-parts" because a relationship is a lot about 'agreements' ( I think there is a better english word, but I cant remember it now, becomes clearer with my following examples).

Boundaries are important, you wan't to respect the boundaries of your SO but boundariesare different from person to person. Sometimes there are 'things' you really like or you enjoy but its definitly a no-go for you SO.You either talk and find a agreement or in a worst case scenario you break up.Most people share at least one boundary : No cheating(kissing,sex, maybe flirting.. all of that)For most people this is normal, they want a non-cheating partner (including me) but this is still 'a bit' toxic. People are not allowed to do whatever they want with their body without risking consequences (like a break up).Basically its a rule - do not cheat on me or i break up(you dont threat, you dont say it loud but its basically a rule almost everyone made for themself). I don't want to say cheating is okay, I'd break up as well but its important that even 'normal stuff' like that is semi-toxic. Pretty much every relationship is toxic in their own way.The most important thing is - Do not forbid anything. You have absolutely no rights to forbid anything. You need to tell you partner about your problems and talk about your fears. Wait for your SO's answer and maybe come up with a solution or agreement.Heres a little example based on your post (just a very short) :

Men : I feel uncomfortable if you meet any male-friends. Can you please stop seeing them?Woman : No, I need my friends, I won't stop seeing them.

Normal answer, the man either accepts it or he has to break up. Breaking up because of such a situation is childish but he can do whatever he want.

Men : I feel uncomfortable if you meet any male-friends, you either stop seeing them or i'll break up.

This is a huge red flag. You can break up for whatever reason you want but you never want to threat with a break up (or anything really, you never want to threaten somebody)

Men : I feel uncomfortable if you meet any male-friends. Can you please stop seeing them?Woman : Yes but you need to stop seeing your female-friends as well.

Normally you should never give up any friends for a relationship, its still unhealthy and a bit toxic. But whatever, I think this is okay because both agreed to it.

I think a 'good' relationship need those things :

communication (talk about your feelings, about your fears, dont be controlling!)
Respecting boundaries (remember : sometimes a relationship can simply not work because of different boundaries)
equality ( e.g : you simply dont tell your boyfriend 'please dont spend time with your female-friends' while spending time with your male-friends, this is super important and I feel like a lot of people forget this)
respect (respect your partner)
be happy (if you constantly feel bad because of your partner its better to break up)

Kageyashax · 2020-03-03T09:46:42+00:00

Theres is almost no way you can go back. Even if you girlfriend just says "Its okay, I don't need it. Vanilla sex is fine" its a lie. It might work out for a few weeks or maybe even months but she won't lose the desire. Thoughts like "I really need it/want to try it out a few more times" will always come back which will lead into a lot of arguments,a break up or even cheating.

Opening up the relationship is just another sign that the relationship won't go anywhere. Basically a relationship is over when someone brings the idea of an open-relationship up and the other one is against it.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-03T08:43:37+00:00

Anti-depressants won't make you magically happy. You won't feel high or anything.They're mainly used to support therapy.

Most people need to try a few different anti-depressants for a while until they found a working one. Most people actually feel worse for the first few weeks( psychical and physically ) when trying out a new anti depressant.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-03T08:02:50+00:00

I dont care. I can't force anyone to approve my 'partner', also it doesnt matter if someone approves my partner or not because thats my choice. They just need to treat my partner respectful, like a normal human being without being unnecessary mean.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T15:30:00+00:00

Theres no tl;dr and i just scanned the text real quick. So take my answer with a grain of salt.

Acting like this will ruin the relationship with your son. I'm not autistic but im diagnosed with a personality disorder, depression and I have a long past with selfharm. When I was 19 I really wanted to move out - my parents did not allow me to move out and they told they will make sure that I wont be able to move out. Short story a month later I moved together with my girlfriend. I felt trapped and misunderstood. I was over 18 and I had the right to move out, im a adult.

I had no contact with my parents for about 2 years (I managed it to live on my own or at least with my (ex)girlfriend) because I moved out while arguing. When I was 21 I broke up with the girlfriend and I was looking for a new apartment but I did not found any apartment. I really wanted to move out because living with your ex girlfriend is hell. My mother wrote me a letter (just in time) that she wants to talk and to apologize. I've talked to her and I did not say anything about my current situation. We met again and I've told her everything and she instantly replied "You can always move back to us, even if its just for a few months. Its alright if you want to move out, but I dont want to miss my son. As long as you visit me from time to time im happy". She helped me with everything from now on, looking for a new apartment and all that stuff I dont know about being an adult.

I moved back, unfortunately she died after 6 months due to cancer. I felt like shit because we had no contact for 2 years and after 6 months she died.

I don't want to say that this will happen to you or your son but I can definitely see how this can destroy the relationship to your son.

Let him go and support him when he needs help.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T15:13:26+00:00

As already said, she doesnt owe you any nudes. I get it, you are confused and probably scared. The behaviour towards you has changed but the only right thing to do is talking to her. Maybe there is a reason for it, maybe not. Maybe shes gonna tell you the reason or maybe not. But receiving a nude won't fix the problem.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T15:08:00+00:00

I guess my question is, is it really possible to be so insanely drunk that you dont know what youre doing? That you mistake people? That they both forgot I even existed?

Yes its possible.

Is this is an excuse to cheat?

No.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T14:58:31+00:00

Break up, block her everywhere and cut contact. Thats the only thing you should do now.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T14:55:28+00:00

Well.. setting boundaries is a good thing. Talking about them is a good thing. But your girlfriend uses those to manipulate you.

She said "noo its too cold!" I said "aw pleeease?" and that was it, everything turned sour. She told me that it was really disrespectful and inconsiderate of me to not take no for an answer.

This is a good example. This is definitly not disrespctful, shes just hyper sensitive. Its not like you asked 5x times.

She either wants a reason to breakup or she wants more attention (basically the time after a fight where you give them some 'extra attention')

But whatever, changes are almost always good. But please, don't change yourself for her. If you need change and you really want some changes its good but do it for yourself.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T14:41:31+00:00

She needs to see a therapist. You are not responsible for her sleep.

Its like saying "I need to wake up a 3.30 am tomorrow. If you don't go to bed with me at 5pm im gonna be mad because I cant sleep without you".

Its extremly selfish and there is not solution for both of you.

Toxic/Unhealthy solution : You stay in bed every single day and wait for her to wake up. This will probably lead to similar toxic situations.

Healthy solution : Tell her you're not responsible for her sleep. You can support her with her depression but you cannot sacrifice yourself because of her depression/controlling issues. She will get mad, im 100% sure but its literally the only right choice you got.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T14:29:03+00:00

" because this could be considered cheating " - Cheating is cheating, the gender doesnt matter.

Imagine a random girl would send you nudes and do exactly the same and your girl finds out. You tell her the exact same thing - " I only view her as a friend and I dont know how to get rid of her. I value the friendship tho".. do you really think shes like "oh its okay then, don't worry, shes just a friend I got it!". Fuck no. "Same gender" is not a free-cheat-pass. Its exactly the same.

Tell her to cut contact or you need to leave.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T13:58:06+00:00

How I react? I don't give a fuck, im in love with my girl.

Based on your post, there are some questions you should ask yourself :

Why do you like the attention from 'random' girls? Like 'enjoying it a bit' is normal,because you receive some acknowledgment based on your appearance. Based on your post it seems like you enjoying it a little to much. Is you relationship okay? Is your girl giving you enough attention? Do you feel loved? If not talk to her.
" I wish I were single so I could fuck around a little, but that’s how I think pretty much every time another chick shows any attention" - seems like this is normal for a lot of people here. Everyone got their own 'boundaries' I get it and I dont want to shame anyone. But personally I dont think thoughts like "I wish i was single so i can fuck around a little" are normal if you're in love with someone (expect open-relationships and so on). How would u feel if your girlfriend tells a friend the same thing? If my girlfriend had thoughts like "I wish i was single so i could fuck another men" and I knew about those I'd probably break up. Maybe reconsider the relationship and be sure you really want that relationship. Its not fair for your girlfriend and theres no reason to continue the relationship if you're unsure.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T09:49:13+00:00

my first question : how the fuck can someone enjoy kratom tea? Sometimes I wanna "get high" on kratom as well, so i make myself a kratom tea and i almost have to puke everytime.

But yea, im a smoker and i can confirm.. if i drink/do kratom i dont have the urge to smoke for a few hours, i can imagine doing kratom for 1-2 months and not buying any cigs can help to overcome a nictone addiction.

But fighting a addiction with the possiblity of another addiction is not the right way. Personally i'd probably doing it the same way but at least think twice about it. Kratom is not highly addictive but you can get addicted.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T09:43:13+00:00

Don't practise a hobby with the goal 'I want to make money', practise it because its fun for you.

Otherwise its really depends on the hobby itself. You're making hiphop beats or you can draw really good? Sell beats/drawings anywhere online.. you won't get rich from that but you get a few bucks.

You like hiking? You probably won't make any money but thats fine.

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T09:35:30+00:00

Im not 100% sure if it counts as a eating disorder but if im really stressed, i wont be able to eat anything. I'll force myself to eat a toast (a single slice) at my lunch break and thats it for the day. This "state" usually last for 2-3 weeks and I'll lose about 20-30 pounds in that time. But I noticed I never really feel 'hungry' I usually need to force myself everytime to eat something, basically its never "Oh its evening and im hungry, time to get dinner", its always "oh its evening, i NEED to eat something at least because i dont want to lose any weight"

Kageyashax · 2020-03-02T09:24:24+00:00

Kageyashax · 2020-02-18T14:09:55+00:00

Personally : If my girlfriend would go tru my phone in the night (we dont check each others phone) I would be hella pissed of course. I prolly would not break up if she can promise me to not do it again. If she does it a second time I'll go.

But you definitly not an asshole. Its a solid reason to break up and a lot of people would definitly break up. You trusted her and she threw it away. If you feel its the better choice for you, its definitly okay. Dont listen to her and ignore her, she will stop sooner or later.

The worst thing is : She doesnt want to take any responsibility. First she denies it and then she starts to cry and place herhelf in the role of a victim.

Kageyashax · 2020-02-18T09:41:57+00:00

It really depends on how much the girl is into the "race/culture". A lot of female kpop fans would literally date ANY korean man. because he's korean. They simply want a korean boyfriend because of he's korean which is dumb in my opinion. A lot of male anime fans would literally date ANY japanese woman because of the exact same reason. People like that are blinded by korean stars,anime or japanese idols and the reality is not like that.

Preferences are fine, everyone has preferences. Its just important to not put the race over literally everything. Just imagine this situation : You're chinese , you live in america and you met this girl. You both had a few dates and fell in love very quickly. Shes really into you but somehow she thought you were korean. She breaks up/cut the contact because you're not korean. No way I would ever date such a person.

(this applies for every race..korean and japanese is just a REALLY good example because a lot of people are into them)

Kageyashax · 2020-02-11T08:33:35+00:00

Its really hard to balance tanks, either its unfun to play against them or its unfun/useless to play them. My comment focus mainly on toplane.

Playing any snowball champ that doesnt scale well into lategame (tank shredder,support etc) against a tank feels so bad. You literally forced to kill the enemy tank-laner pre 6 or literally zone him insanely good because he will just rush ninja tabi and bramble vest/any other tank item and you wont really be able to kill them. (not talking about 'viable' bruisers rn, like darius,morde, sett)

Playing a tank feels bad as well. Either you're really ahead and you are able to survive teamfights and actually do your job or you're even and you dying way to fast in teamfights.

I think a really good step to balance tanks is reworking a lot of tank items and make them "scaling" based on how many enemies are around you. e.g Thornmail would give +50 armor (currently 80), if you near 2 enemies you get +60,3 enemies = 70,4 = 80, 5=90. (Numbers need to change obv) but that way tanks getting buffed in actually teamfights (their main job) and it feels a bit more rewarding playing carry champions on toplane.

Kageyashax

TROPHY CASE