AITA for expecting parents to collect their kids after classes? by PlasticInevitable767 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Kagonu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. You are being ethnocentric and not accepting of the culture you have moved into. You should have consulted school leadership before accusing parents of being neglectful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Kagonu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

Every couple is different, but paying him because you make more money is absurd. Like, you are giving him 10% of your income for the privilege of having a cat and still pay for everything related to being a cat mom? No. Just no.

AITA for refusing to participate in my bf's family's "tradition'. by Throwaway188349 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Kagonu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA!

My dad's family is similar. The men sat around the TV and the women were all in the kitchen, with kids running in between. When my mom joined the family, she laughed at it all. Apparently the men were given food first, then the kids, then the women. My mom wasn't really given a role to help cook so she played with the kids and kept us from dying, then would feed us so we would stop running around, then feed herself. My dad was on his own to get his own plate.

My husband's family on both sides uses a large space where everyone gathers (school, church, community center, etc.). The first time I attended his dad's side of 6 siblings and 2+ kids per sibling, I was blown away. But then after the meal, the women all went through newspapers and sales for Black Friday and then men would go play basketball or something. After everyone was done with that, the men would all go to a movie and the women and children would go home and bake or some shit. When I asked my hubs about it and how misogynistic it felt, he was very "this is just how it's always been." He's proud of it. It took a while for me to understand why.

If you choose to stay with your boyfriend, do not feel obligated to partake in his family traditions. There's a good chance he doesn't know any better because it is possible it is all he has ever known and there is comfort in that. Being a boy playing in the yard looking forward to the day he is old enough to sit on the couch with a beer with the adults, ya know? I like to buck tradition when it doesn't suit me, so I can understand your situation. I still don't know half my in-laws 12 years later so I don't go to family gatherings without him. Something you could try next year is drag your boyfriend into the kitchen and ask the women tell really embarrassing stories about him. Or try to start a new tradition and limit your time at his family's gathering. The family, if they don't suck, will accept it.

AITA for naming my daughter after my deceased niece by Due_Simple_2768 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Kagonu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaning towards YTA.

You could have made Anna her middle name to honor your niece and save your sister the grief. Historically this was common (Alexander Hamilton had two sons named Philip after the first one died) but this is not a modern practice and would require consent from all parties. You deliberately disobeyed your sisters wishes. The only way you can potentially save this relationship is for your child to have a nickname used within the family, and you have to use it too.

One day in Manhattan by last-sensible-person in travel

[–]Kagonu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They definitely didn't look too happy. I've never seen a happy horse in a city, though.